what is it like having 3 children?

[u2rmysunshine]

Hi , I have 2 wonderful DSs. It's blooming hard at the moment - DS 1 is 4.4. and DS2 is 1.3 and they want different things out of life iyswim. I can't get the idea of a third out of my mind, but I am so aware that I had absolutely no idea what it would be like going from 1 to 2 or 2 to 3, so I was hoping some people could tell me about the practical and emotional side of having a third child (good and bad). If we had a third, we would probably want to try for another 3 year gap, or possibly a 4 year gap so DS2 would be at school. Thanks in advance.

I have a 4.5 year old, a 2.6 year old and a 7 month old. I found going from 2 to 3 much easier than from 1 to 2.

Life is busy, but I'm so glad we had DS2. DS1 and DD both love their little brother, and it has brought out a caring side to DS1 that I'd not seen before.

I'm about to go out, so I'll post more later,but I would say go for it!

I have a 4.5 year old, 2.6 year old and a 7 month old.
It's noisy and busy but also fun.

I feel like my family is complete with DS2 here and the other two adore him.

To be honest, once you're through the 'feeding all the time' phase at the beginning, it's a doddle because the DC are used to them being here and look out for each other etc.
As your eldest DC will be at school it should be slightly easier as you'll only have two of them around on weekdays.

If I were to come up with one negative it would be that I always feel I could spend more one to one time with them but then I see them playing together and they get so much more from that than they could from me!

anathema - just seen that all three of your DC are the same ages as mine. (Don't know why I feel the need to point that out though!)
:)

Vivi I agree, I always feel like I've not spent enough time with each child individually. Today I'm taking DS1 out for linch so I can have a bit of time with him before he starts school, but I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with the other two!

The other thing I've found hard is the sheer amount of stuff we now have in the house. I think this because my 3 are so close in age, the baby/toddler toys seem to have been out constantly for the last 4 1/2 years. I feel like I've spent the last 7 months walking in circles picking things up.

Oh, and then there's the shouting because DS2 has crawled over and touched DS1's cars, or DD wants DS2 to play with her and doesn't understand that he's too young to join in properly.

Overall though, if you don't mind a bit of chaos, and are ready to lower your standards a bit, housework wise, then you'll be fine.

I have 3 children. When DD2 was born DS was 7 and DD1 was 6. All 3 had very different needs and their father was often away. I found it extremely hard. I had intended to stop at 2 but that didn't happen - contraceptive fail.

I had two boys 21 months apart and then a girl 4 years later. The jump from 1 to 2 was really hard (but I did have a small age gap). The jump from 2 to 3 I found ok. The boys were at school full time 6 weeks after the baby was born so I got plenty of time just me and the baby. I now cannot imagine only having two children and the three are now a little gang. The baby is 14 months and plays with her 5 year old brother really well; my 7 year old does not 'play' with the baby but is very protective towards her. So, it was really hard work the first year with three children but it feels like it's getting easier. Time will tell if the middle child thing or the three's a crowd thing are true! Good luck deciding! (go for it!)

I agree that the house does get full of 'stuff' but I am ruthless with getting rid of stuff that does not get played with as I don't have a lot of storage space in my house (two large bedrooms).

It's busy, it's hard work, but it's so worth it.

We have DDs aged 8 and 4 and ds is almost 18mths - wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you so much for the replies. Anathema and vivi I read your posts twice as I thought someone had double posted ! Thank you for being so honest. I continually swing between there's no way I can't to there's no way I can have another !

Noisy, busy, outnumbered, never feel like each child gets individual attention. Not enough space in house or car. No bloody hotels can fit you in on holidays.

Otoh, I am truly blessed to have had 3. My eldest has asd and I think my dtwins would have had a very different experience of childhood if they hadn't had each other. I didn't plan 3 children, but it's worked out very well for us. My friend has 4 with similar age gaps to you and it works beautifully for her-she did find last pregnancy harder.

The test is if you can imagine another large child at the table or do you just want a baby to cuddle-if it's just the baby you can imagine then that's hormones talking.

ps if you are 38 that is the peak age to have twins.

defineme 38 is the peak age to have twins !

I didn't know that, must get onto DH's snip pronto!

I had a boy and a girl and debated for 2 years after her birth whether to have a third. Always said Id have 3 as I felt growing up as just one of 2 was a bit dull and quiet.

As she approached her 2nd birthday I decided not to for many reasons. High risk PG and births, financial situation at the time, just starting to get my life back, 2 DC's actually got on well, why mess and convinced I couldn't cope with any more. Found the jump from 1-2 very difficult.

Just as I finally relaxed into - 'lets stick with two and move on' I was shocked to find I was PG. I was devastated for the whole PG.

I had another boy which I have to admit I was quite negative about at first.

He is now 1 and im so relieved I had my 'little accident'! I feel horror at the thought that we may have stuck with two.

I found it all a very quick and relativily painless year. Dare I say I have actually enjoyed it!

My only worry is that DD, being middle child has become a lot more attention seeking which fills me with guilt but I try and get some one to one with her at the weekend. Id feel more sorry for her if she only had one sibling and not 2 now. Love seeing DS1 with his little brother and like someone else said, it has really brought out his caring side this time.

Go for it, 2's boring!