My 15 year old son doesn't want my boyfriend to come to our house

[GD66]

My 15 year old son has told me he doesn't like my boyfriend and that if I want to see him he wants no part in it and doesn't want him coming to our house, when my boyfriend came around for the first time in a month we went out for an hour on returning my son had locked all the doors to the house and left keys in all the locks so we couldn't get back in. He has also refused to see his own father at all this year, I'm at a loss as to what I should do I have tried talking to him explaining I love them both and that my boyfriend will not be moving in but I do not want to be alone and in 3 years time he himself will be leaving home to go to university and that my boyfriend makes me happy and feel loved, help!!

Its the first and only since divorcing last year.

It is his house too,

He clearly find this bloke a massive threat

I would respect that but look at his other issues as he sounds very very unhappy x

My son says he just doesn't like him, that I should take his feelings into account as he could end up being his step dad. He hasn't said he intends to sabotage all relationships but said if he comes he will behave so badly it will make my boyfriend leave.

It's been a difficult few years my ex refused to move out until the divorce had actually gone through (which took some time) and I started seeing this man towards the end of that time. as mentioned my son will not have any contact with his father which I am concerned about and obviously makes it difficult to have a relationship without him being involved

That sounds as though your son has witnessed a long and difficult breakdown in your relationship with his father. His refusal to see his father could be based on what he saw/heard/experienced during that time, if he perceives that his father's actions hurt you (and him) this could be him punishing his father/having lost all respect for his father/his relationship with his father having broken down during such a difficult time.

I would not be surprised if the entire situation traumatized your DS significantly, if so then this could be a manifestation of that. Perhaps he can't see why you would want another man in your life so quickly, perhaps he just can't cope with any more changes yet, perhaps there's something about your partner that just makes him really uncomfortable...who knows?

At this point I'd say that your son is in a very vulnerable place emotionally and really needs your support.

Personally, I would prioritise my ds and cool it a little with the bf or just keep your relationship away from your son, for the time being. Yes, you deserve to be happy and have a relationship, but ds is at a very vulnerable age and having issues regarding his parents' marriage breakup. His behaviour isn't entirely reasonable, but I think you have to tread softly with him right now. I would have a chat with ds, reassure him that he doesn't have to see the bf if he doesn't want to, but also mention sensitively that he shouldn't be locking you out etc to make his point as that is childish, and presumably he wants to be treated like an adult. Reassure him that his feelings are very important to you and you respect his opinions, therefore he can feel able to explain to you his problems with the bf / not wanting to see him in a calm and rational manner, which you are perfectly happy to listen to and take account of. If the bf is worth his salt he'll understand easing off a little for the sake of your son - if he doesn't get it or makes a fuss, he's likely not a keeper.

Hi my son is 16 and refusing to meet my partner of 7 months.

He hides from him when he is in my house and said he never ever wants to meet him.

He has suffered trauma. Almost 6 years ago my ex fiance killed our cat and I remained single for 5 years.

I haven't pushed him but feel he should at least be polite and say hello.

He has refused and said he never ever will meet him.

My son had 2 sessions of counselling and refused to go. It has been offered since as I feel his reaction is harsh but he just won't.

We are looking to move in together in 2 years time. My son will then be 18.5 years old. I worry in case he won't come with us .

Please help.