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Original poster

feel so guilty- made mistake against my instincts

12 replies

sooooguilty · 02/09/2013 21:45

namechanged.
no one can make me feel more guilty than i do already.

at the weekend we went on a camping celebration thing for a friend, so it was a private camping ground totally enclosed, hired for the celebrations. friends and family etc. marquee, bouncy castles, lovely.

i had spoken to my mum about my worries about what to do with dd (2)at night when the festivities were going on. she used to leave me and my sister in the tent when she went to festivals and checked on us every half hour. i wasn't comfortable with this.
But, dd wouldn't go to sleep in the buggy and my dp thinks i am too fussy with her and said she'd be fine, we'd check on her in the tent every 20 mins. tent 200 metres from marquee. all my instincts said no, but i bloody well gave in.

about 10 pm i did my turn checking to find a family holding my dd outside tent, a search for me had gone out, dd hysterical. she'd woken and they had found her alone and screaming. :( I have learned my lesson but i am having flashbacks and cant sleep. I can't believe i made such a stupid decision it's so out of character. Oh god, what must that family think of me? dd no worse for wear but i am a wreck.

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Hassled · 02/09/2013 21:49

The family will think you made a silly mistake and have paid for it, and that's all. We've all made silly mistakes along the way.

You must be feeling awful - but all you can do is learn from it. And you've learnt to trust your judgement, which is actually very, very valuable. Your DD won't remember.

TeamEdward · 02/09/2013 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cherrytomato40 · 02/09/2013 21:56

These things happen, don't beat yourself up. Like the time I stood chatting to a friend on the street, turned round and 3yo DD had scooted off into the middle of a busy road. Luckily I grabbed her about 10 seconds before a car came zooming past. One of those heart in mouth oh-my-god-how-did-I-let-that-happen moments. But I've never taken my eyes off her on a busy road again!

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Original poster

sooooguilty · 02/09/2013 22:24

gratefully received!
thankyou for your comments, i certainly will not be doing that again. I am usually so conscientious .

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 02/09/2013 22:29

We all have moments like that. Like the time I left sleeping DC1 in the car, parked outside the shop window (could see her the whole time) and then got stuck in a queue for what felt like a lifetime.

We've all done it.

Have .

Choos123 · 02/09/2013 23:47

And your mum's reward for giving you and dh dangerous and duff advice should be babysitting for you next time!

mummyxtwo · 03/09/2013 20:07

You can't change it, just learn from the experience that your own instincts are best and not to cave to pressure from others. Next time you feel under pressure about something, if there is a next time, remind yourself of the poor advice they gave you on this occasion and just ignore them, if it goes against your own beliefs or doesn't make you feel comfortable. She won't be traumatised by the experience - you're the one who is going to remember it for longer. Thank goodness for the kind family who cuddled her and looked for you, and that they weren't dodgy. Poor advice from dm and dh!

mummyxtwo · 03/09/2013 20:10

Sorry! Didn't mean for that to sound unsupportive - it's very hard when being pressured with advice from family. I meant more that their advice was poor, not that you should beat yourself up for caving in to it on one occasion.

noblegiraffe · 03/09/2013 20:12

Why are you feeling guilty? Your bloody DP should be feeling the guilt for his stupid idea backfiring. I hope he has apologised to you and agreed that you were right.

YoungBritishPissArtist · 03/09/2013 20:13

You're obviously a good mum - that fact that you feel so awful proves it!

JoJoCK · 03/09/2013 20:20

OP, I know how difficult it can be to be put under pressure to go against your instincts as my DH and DM pressurise me similarly regularly. As others have said, nothing bad happened and you categorically know now that your instincts are correct. Be strong and confident that you are a good parent.

Thurlow · 03/09/2013 20:40

That must have been so upsetting but it is so hard when everyone is telling you to do something and making you question even your gut instinct.

Your DD won't remember it, and I'm sure the family could tel how upset you were and don't think badly of you.

Rack it up and move on and remember that your instincts were right, which is a good thing!

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