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Original poster

Should I give her her cuddly toy back?

62 replies

SilverBellsandCockleShells · 02/09/2013 20:10

My seven-year-old daughter has, pretty much since birth, only gone to sleep with the aid of a specific soft toy. We spotted her attachment at an early age and bought in several spares but sadly only the original was ever good enough!

A week ago, we went on holiday which involved an overnight stay at a hotel near the airport and a very early start. In our haste to get our flight, her toy, let's call it Hippo, remained tucked up in bed and got left behind. His absence wasn't noted until we reached our destination, several hours later.

After a few initial tears, she settled down to sleep OK and the rest of the week was spent without a mention of the lost Hippo. On the flight back home, she asked if we'd go back to the hotel and get him but we didn't really have time. First night home we had a few more wobbles bit again she slept fine and has now admitted she doesn't really need Hippo or any of his friends to get to sleep.

In the meantime, I have spoken to the hotel, who have tracked down her cuddly toy and are sending it back to me shortly. Question is, when I get it back do I give it to her and risk regression or allow her the joy of being reunited?

I know it's a minor problem but I can't decide what to do!

TIA

OP posts:

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nickelbabe · 03/09/2013 10:24

it doesn't matter if she does.

I couldn't imagine not being allowed Cuggles!

you can't torture a child.
it doesn't matter if she needs her cuddly toy. it really doesn't matter

NoComet · 03/09/2013 10:37

Give it back
Honey Went to Uni with me! And he still sits in my room (I'm 45), DMILs bear always kept an eye on goings in in the kitchen, she was a very greedy bear.

Both my DDs(12)&(15) take their favourite toys to bed.

Brownie Guiders (7-10 year olds) always say bring your Teddies.

Our only issue is that DD2's comforter is almost pillow sized so a smaller bear has to go on aircraft.

sleepyhead · 03/09/2013 10:37

Give it back! My bear now sleeps on ds1's bed.

I've had the bear since I was 12wks old and he's sat on a bed in every house I've ever lived in

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TVTonight · 03/09/2013 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipparivers · 03/09/2013 10:45

Wow. I'm really suprised by this. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to give it back if she was ok without it. Big but, I have never myself had an attachment to a 'thing' neither do my dc. I may think differently if any future dc have attachments like this (can't imagine they would though).

Primrose123 · 03/09/2013 10:46

I would say give it back, but insist that it never leaves the house, or bedroom if that's possible, that way it can't get lost.

My DD had a hippo too, that was her special toy. We left it in the bed at the Gatwick Hilton about 14 years ago. We were waiting in the airport for our flight and I saw a little girl with her teddy and thought how sweet she was, and I suddenly thought, "Where's Hippo?" We had a frantic search, without letting DD know, and couldn't find it. I ran all the way back to the Hilton, which luckily is connected to the airport. The man at reception gave me the key to our room, and there was Hippo, in the bed, under the blankets. The relief was unbelievable! We always check the beds now when we leave a hotel room!

DD is 16 now, and Hippo doesn't come on holiday any more, but he is safely in her wardrobe!

sleepyhead · 03/09/2013 10:46

I'm rather to confess that reading the op I thought "oh no, poor Hippo!" at the thought of him all alone at the hotel and no one coming to get him.

nickelbabe · 03/09/2013 10:58

sleepy - so did i. :(

nickelbabe · 03/09/2013 11:00

my mum even bought me a small bear in the same brand to take on holiday.
it did not come to uni with me - nothing would ever replace Cuggles (and i sobbed like a baby when his throat was cut in the washing machine once :( )
(he was mendable but he's always gone in inside a pillowcase since)

AFishWithoutABicycle · 03/09/2013 11:06

Okay I stand corrected. Even if she does take it to uni you should still give it back.
My blanket went missing when I was little (my dad had thrown it out) and even though my parents thought I'd gotten over it I searched the house for years and would pray it would turn up. When my dad eventually told me in my twenties I was still really upset and angry. I still am, bastard!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 03/09/2013 11:09

i wouldn't. i'd let it remain lost for the next three months at least.

TallulahBetty · 03/09/2013 11:11

OMG, yes of course give it back just make a rule that he doesn't leave the house.

miffybun73 · 03/09/2013 11:12

Yes, definitely give it back.

I'm 40 and still have my Snoopy, I'd be devastated if I ever lost him

Fifi2406 · 03/09/2013 11:16

I still sleep with my bunny that I've had from birth if I lost it I would be so upset give it back don't be mean! No harm in her having it!

Fifi2406 · 03/09/2013 11:17

And I took him to uni!

rrreow · 03/09/2013 11:47

Yes, give it back.

I remember once losing my cuddly toy and learning to sleep without it. Then months later I found it (it was rolled up in a sleeping bag) and I was SO happy. I think I was about 8 at the time.

rrreow · 03/09/2013 11:48

And said cuddly toy now lives on a shelf in my wardrobe. I'm really glad I still have it.

gourd · 03/09/2013 11:50

Yes of course! Hippo has had an adventure on her own and will need to share it with your DD! It wont make any diffeence- he not going to still need a teddy when she is 30.

SoupDragon · 03/09/2013 11:51

I see you've decided to give it back :)

FWIW, I think it's important because f the memories involved. All the things she's done, seen and experienced when "Hippo" has been there.

Original poster

SilverBellsandCockleShells · 03/09/2013 12:46

I guess now she's proved she can cope without it, there's no harm in giving it back. So long as I can persuade her she doesn't always need it. The only harm it does it the permanent hassle of ensuring we have 'Hippo' with us every time we go away, etc. She's been invited on inpromptu sleepovers before and not wanted to go because she didn't have it, so a little bit of independence can do no harm!

Thanks for all the advice, turns out I'm on the meanie side for even contemplating withholding it! Maybe I'll let her open the parcel when we get it back ...

(I haven't told her the hotel have found it yet, just in case!)

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 03/09/2013 12:52

Of course! My 12 year old still has her special rabbit...
I put it in one of those box frames and hung it in her wall, but she took it back out and it sleeps in her bed.

choccyp1g · 03/09/2013 12:58

Floggingmolly You put her special rabbit in a cage you brute.

choccyp1g · 03/09/2013 12:58

should have put a there.

choccyp1g · 03/09/2013 12:59

My 12 yr old DS still has his special rabbit too.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 03/09/2013 13:00

Aw yay to hippo reunion. Hope he makes it back ok. I can't bare the thought of all my old teddies being lost and alone like that

I don't think an attachment is an issue. I mean its not like a funny or a thumb which causes problems with teeth. It's a friend your dd will have to cuddle and talk to when she is ill or upset. Helps them feel secure :)

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