5 year old, awful behaviour, how to manage

[soupmaker]

DD has turned into a whirling dervish. She is 5 and is having to cope with new baby sister who is only 5 weeks old and returning to school.

She has always been very sting willed and spirited however this has ramped up to a completely new level.

She screams, shouts, stamps her feet, has hour long tantrums which include tears and lashing out, if she doesn't get what she wants. She is currently in full flight because she can't play with her friend across the road because she is unavailable.

We have been very careful to have DD1 involved with new sister and she is very loving towards her and proud of being a big sister herself.

Nothing seems to calm DD1. No amount of trying to give choices, or use of timeout seems to work. She just has to blow off until she calms herself. Things tend to be worse later in the day which I am sure is tiredness.

Is this just a phase that too shall pass? Anyone had similar experience? Is it just a case of keeping calm, giving her choices, and ignoring the madness?

Boarding school?!! I'm watching with interest, have similar issues and no solutions unfortunately.

Is she back to school yet?

I was comparing notes with other school mums a couple of weeks back and our 5yos all behaving badly. We were hopeful that the return to school and a daily routine would help. The lack of routine could be the problem.

Mine is being awful, lots of tired tantrums and certainly very jealous of DC2 (who is a toddler).

Yes, been back to school for a week and half as we are in Scotland.

There are a lot of tired kids but no e seem to be behaving as badly as DD1.

Sweethert- the key word there is 'seem'. Honestly, behind closed doors none of them wll be angels.
A new baby isa lot for a 5yo to take on board- her whole life and its rhythm haschanged for ever.
Hang on in there, keep ignoring the bad, praising the good, it will get better, really.
Try and find special 'jobs' for her to do, special toys only to be played with when you're feeding baby, a special time once a day just for her, mummy to DD, no baby (nap time, or when DH/DP gets home).
Keep the same boundaries and expectations for her as before, be consistent. She needs to be reassured you still want her, and love even though there's another baby in the famly now.

And congratulations on your baby!

My dd was younger than yours- but her behaviour was awful when her brother was 5 weeks old

This too will pass. With my dd I insisted that bed time story was her time and if dh was out I let ds cry to give her that special time. Also does she have a new teacher? A lot if change.

Or, what bsc said!!!

And a drink and a snack on the way home from school made a huge difference to us- my DC are a nightmare when they're dehydrated/hungry. And they were both too shy to ask for water in reception

Thanks everyone. Yes, I think I had underestimated just how much is going on for DD1. New baby, new teacher, a whole 4 weeks of having mum all day during the holidays, lack of routine for a few weeks.

Managed to get out today with DD and had some proper mummy time. I think we need to remember to pick our battles and cut her some slack.

I need to do her bedtime more often too. It has often coincided with DD2 wanting fed.

Not a lot of advice but lots of empathy, DD is 5 also and been back to school two weeks now (Scotland too) and she has been a horror. We have really been struggling with her behaviour. Walking to and from school has been the worst.

Pick your battles is great advice and is what I am focusing on right now!