Can you please help me to feel better about this please?

[Charlotte1984]

Hi fellow Mums

Im hoping someone will have been in a similar situation and be able to tell me it will all be ok.

Im going back to work on Monday when my little girl will only be 4.5 months old. Im going back 4 days a week and she will be looked after by a childminder and my partners parents.

I am starting to feel really awful, until a month ago I was quite looking forward to going back to work aa have not found motherhood the easiest to adjust to but now I feel terrible. Im worried about everything but my daughter will be upset, that we will lose our bond. I am also feeling quite down as we have started giving formula as my job does allow for time to express (I know legally it does but logistically a nightmare and have never been able to express much anyway) and now my baby apart from perhaps one feed a day, she rejects bfeeding.

I know I am lucky in some ways, only going back 4 days, some childcare being done by family but just feeling like an awful mother. Any words of wisdom/anyone with similar experiences I would love to hear.

I guess you are worried because she is so young? It might make you feel better to know that when I had my DC - 17 and 18 years ago, mat leave was 12 weeks, so I went back to work when they were young too. They're both at/on way to uni, and are lovely children who have suffered no ill effects from it.

It will be hard at first, but you know she is being well looked after.

I think everyone feels the same, so hang on to the perks - coffees and lunches without a baby in tow, adult conversations, a bit more head space. The feeding is a bit emotional but you might be able to do a morning and night feed and bottle feed the rest of the time? You never know. If not, don't worry, she will be fine.

Hi there! I went back full time when my first was 7 months and my second was 5 months old (older one was 5 then)....hang on in there - plan lots of lovely time with her when you are off - check out your local children's centre and library. CCs are fab, with loads of great activities. Your baby will be fine - you are her one and only mummy and you have given her a great start already - if you are stressed, this will not be good for you or baby. You won't loose the bond - maybe breastfeed first thing or in the evening? Anyhoo, good luck - my 2 turned out fine! xx

I went back when dd was 4.5 months and to be honest it was great. I am just not a natural sahm and if anything I think my relationship with dd is better for me working.

We cosleep and bf and my bond with her is as good as ever. Really, she will be fine :o

I went back at 3 months. It's totally fine. My now 7 mth old is brilliant with other people, social and gives me the biggest smile when I come for him. I get to be e during the day again!

You will not lose that bond.

Your child will accept other people into their lives but you will still be utterly No.1. with bells on.

Can you still breastfeed morning and evening?