Please help me with this punishment (or not)

[GoofyIsACow]

DS1 (5) has been hitting a lot recently, he lashes out when he doesnt get his own way, i have explained on countless occasions why he shouldnt do this talked about frustration etc.
He has hit me, fil, dh etc.
this afternoon he hit a boy at a play area, i asked him to apologise and talked again to him about how he doesnt have the right to hit anyone and that isnt the answer.
He has just hit DS2.

The trouble is, this morning we went to a group i normally go to in term time while he is at school, he was beautifully behaved, played really well with all the other children and DH and I agreed because he had been so well behaved, he could watch a film tonight with us and have some popcorn.

I want to put him to bed for hitting DS2 because we havent been home from the play area over an hour or so and not long had the hitting chat (again...!) so i am really cross he has hit again.

But if I send him to bed he misses the film he was promised for being so good this morning... Is that ok do ou think?

I am probably over thinking this but the hitting thing is really awful and i am not tolerating it.

Thanks in advance

Bump back to the top :)

Reward the good behaviour, as you promised.

Think of a different sanction for the hitting - losing a toy maybe, or missing out on something tomorrow?

Good luck, he will get there and stop hitting.

Thankyou parachutes, that is what I will do, you have made me feel better

Yes never remove a reward.

Can you talk to him at a neutral time about one specific incident and see what lead up to the hitting and how he might have handled that one better - make it clear it's a neutral discussion and nothing bad is going to happen to him as a result of it, you just want to help him.

Or - bit late now, probably, but you could postpone the reward, say, look I know I promised you we could watch a film and we will still do that because I want you to know how much we appreciate X, Y, Z, but today you hit your brother and I can't ignore that.

I don't know. I suppose it depends on what your usual course of action would be and whether they conflict.

Thanks Yoni, thatwas my thinking, that i didnt want to remove a reward.
We have decided now that rewards are going to be at the time, so he associates them with the actual good thing.
At least for a while until he gets the hang of consequences, as he seems to have forgotten!