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Two tomorrow and no words.

11 replies

fabergeegg · 22/08/2013 21:57

I've posted about this before. My daughter is about to turn two and she's not talking. Health visitor is aware and referral to speech therapy has been made. She's acutely shy and suspicious of other children, too but that's another thread! About six months ago, she had a growing list of words - perhaps ten. Now, she has only four words and they're less distinct now, if anything. She engages with me and would clearly like to be able to communicate. She'll mime and use a lot of inflection. And she'll try little pieces of words now and again. Sometimes she'll take a sound and use it every time she wants to communicate. At the moment she's using the back of her tongue, trying to get a 'tsk'/'k'/'t' sound. The health visitor said this is not what you'd expect at two, but also that it's too soon to think anything of it. She's known losing words to mean autism and she's known it to mean absolutely nothing.

I have this dread in my heart and it's her birthday tomorrow, for crying out loud. I just want her to have friends and be happy. I'm looking at the 'other mothers' kids' who are so ringletted, confident, engaging and articulate and my little one is so frustrated and uneasy. I can't bear to see her live a life of loneliness. I feel like she needs to start triggering more positive responses in other kids before she cements the idea of herself as aloof and hostile. And why can't she talk yet?

Would someone please help?

OP posts:
LeepyTime · 22/08/2013 23:32

Hi, I can't actually offer any help but just want to send you some support and hope that everything works out ok for you and your little girl. You sound like a lovely mummy who is doing her best. Maybe move this into AIBU to get more eyes over it?

littleblackno · 23/08/2013 00:26

I don't know if this will help but my son was nearly 3 before he spoke more than a few words, when he did he spoke in full sentences. He's 7 now and doesn't shut up! She's still very little, if she's trying to communicate then thats a good sign. I would try not to worry too much. Keep an eye on her, kids develop at different rates. My son is still very shy and doesn't make friends easily but thats just his personality. Enjoy her birthday. You are doing fine.

JellyBelly10 · 23/08/2013 00:32

Apparently my DH's sister didn't speak until she was nearly 3 but she grew up to be a perfectly articulate and bright child and adult. Happy birthday to your little girl! I hope everything works out just fine for her.

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Elderflowergranita · 23/08/2013 00:51

Hi there, am so sorry to hear you're going through this. I know only too well the dread of 'milestone ' birthdays, and the stress of comparing your child to their peers.

She is very, very young still. Much too young to worry about the impression she gives to other children, or 'cementing' any negative impressions. Children of this age honestly do not notice or comprehend this way of communicating with one another.

She sounds like she is making lots of efforts to communicate with you, which is a hugely positive sign. Do not get hung up right now with the words or lack/loss of. It does certainly sound like she needs to be referred for speech therapy, something which should be put in train straight away.

I tormented myself for at least two years of DS2's life, worrying about his complete lack of speech, huge social delays etc. He said his first word when he was 3.1 , and began talking in sentences when he was 3.6.

He is now a bright and popular 10 year old, without any issues whatsoever. And he didn't have half or quarter of the communication skills of your DD. Happy birthday to her! Do your best to focus on what she can do right now, rather than what she can't.

Also, poor communication skills can be hugely frustrating for toddlers. Cut both of you some slack!

kikidee · 23/08/2013 01:06

Hi fabergeegg, I'm sorry to hear you're so worried about your dd. has her hearing been tested recently? All babies are now tested at birth but if her hearing has subsequently deteriorated then that wouldn't have been picked up. If children can't hear well then it's much more difficult for them to learn to speak. It can take a while for the speech therapy referral to result in you actually seeing someone but a hearing test could be done quite quickly and could be done by the time you see the speech therapist.

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 23/08/2013 20:58

YY to kikidee*, has she had a recent hearing check OP? It can be difficult to pick up in children, especially those who use other methods of communication successfully. The first thing the speech therapist will do is send for a hearing test, so ask your GP to refer ASAP if she hasn't had one in the last few months. Something as simple as glue ear could be causing her problems and is so easily corrected with grommets.

Also, don't know if you've tried something like this but I used this excellent DVD for DS when he was a baby, but lots of the reviews claim success in speech delayed 2+ year olds. Worth a try perhaps.

If she's really trying to communicate that's really positive. And I don't know many 2 year olds who don't go through the suspicion and fear of new kids stage. Hope things improve soon OP.

mummyxtwo · 23/08/2013 21:00

Firstly - never ever compare your lo with friends' lo's, whether for speech, walking, potty training, anything. You'll nearly always end up worried because your child isn't doing something that others are. It's really too soon to say if there is any cause for your dd's lack of speech as not talking at 2 is on the late side but not considered 'abnormal'. My ds1 didn't speak before he was 2, but once he did start talking and got the hang of it his speech came on leaps and bounds. He is now 4.5yo and never stops talking! I totally understand your anxiety and don't mean to minimise it - as a mum, I worry about everything with regard my own dc's - but please don't get worked up about what is likely entirely normal at this stage. X

fabergeegg · 23/08/2013 23:22

Thank you for all these positive messages. I really appreciate the support and DD enjoyed her birthday. She even said a new word - watched a balloon rise to the ceiling and said 'up'! So that's progress.

Can't thank you ladies enough. Her hearing is definitely spot-on.

OP posts:
Elderflowergranita · 24/08/2013 09:51

Glad she enjoyed her birthday. And a new word - you must have been so pleased!

DS2's hearing was /is perfect also. I remember longing to find out he had a problem with it, just so that it would give us a reason for his lack of speech.

As I say, while it took a while, he got there in the end. And he wasn't trying to communicate at all, unlike your DD.

Best of luck to you both.

Writerwannabe83 · 24/08/2013 13:52

Does she attend nursery and have opportunities to interact with and communicate with lots of other children?

If not I would really recommend it - I have known many parents who have been Gobsmacked at the progress their child's speech makes when they start at Nursery.

JennerOSity · 25/08/2013 12:19

FWIW my DS had
0 words at 2yo,
5 words at 2.3,
50 words at 2.6 (We were logging every one as we were worried).

I referred him to HV who got him speech therapy. Whether he would have progressed anyway I don't know, but we modelled the next steps for him a lot, so just spoke to him in one word (where practical), then when he was using one we modelled two words etc. I also got the Sookie and Finn dvd's which are very good and recommended by speech therapists.
Now at 3.2 he is pretty fluent and has a good vocabulary.
But I couldn't have written your post myself back then - and probably did, so you are not alone.

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