When you have agreed to not have anymore kids.........

[Helenemjay]

how do you stop yourself wanting more?

Lie down in a quiet, dark place and think about toilet training. You wouldn't want to go through that again would you?

Honestly ? I don't think you can stop yourself. I think it's just something that you have to resign yourself to and eventually the feeling will either fade away as the years go on, or you will revise your plans and have another child

Well we have a ds1 who is 5 and a ds2 who is 3 and a dd who is 9 months old, im 27 and dp is 29 and i think we should really say that enough is enough, but i cant imagine not having anymore! Hallgerda - lol those things i probably wouldnt miss , but already i find myself feeling the strong desire to think about another in a year or two!! i truly thought when i had my dd that she would be the third and final one and id be ok with that, like some people say - they feel complete, im very vey very blessed i will never think otherwise but i really feel like im not ready to stop at three

I am 34 weeks pregnant and we have said that this (second boy) is all we will have. But the finality of it is off putting, I don't like the thought that i will NEVER be pregnant again, NEVER have another little baby, that is IT! mind you ask me again after the birth..........

DH is pretty sure but I could probably be persuaded to go for at least one more, maybe even two....

xx

DH and I agreed while I was pregnant with no.5 that that would be it, especially as I had a very rough pregnancy, and then recovering was dire due to a half missed placenta ending in three d&c's:( DH had the snip!!

DS2 (no.5) is now nearly four and the yearning has only recently stopped. DS2's 3rd B/day was a haze of tears for me as I would have normally either been pregnant or have a newborn around...was very hard to get over. (not that we may have actually had more if DH hadn't had the snip, but it was the fact that we just COULDN'T IYSWIM)

I am now finally happy to be mum of five and more importantly have stopped feeling as tho some-one is 'missing', as it were, from our family.

You do get there, but it can take time.

I was never able to agree to not having any more kids. Just couldn't do it. However, my age has decided for me and I am not finding it as difficult as I thought I would. It feels like a natural conclusion (well, I suppose it is :o) ) and I'm very happy with the 9 I've got. :)

I found waiting until ds was 2.5 and then having a super holiday which simply would not have been super with a baby, and realising that I can't be bothered with pushchairs, travel cots etc. ever again.

And now he is 3.3 and kindy is around the corner and he has allergies and wondering how he will cope and how we will train the school and all the time thanking goodness that I don't have anything else to worry about.

I work with babies and toddlers. See around 60 per week. Not at all broody.

you start understanding why your mum was so keen to be a granny and you start looking forward to it. (dd1 is 6. think I might have to wait a while)

Juule - forgive me if this is rude but do you really have 9 children?

on topic though i have just had dd (no.3) and i really cannot imagine her being the last one, however i think dh would divorce me if we had another one. i even backed out of being sterilised during my c/s with dd as i couldn't do it!

Yes, I really do have 9 :o

i was reading this at gone 2 in the morning because i couldn't sleep and wasn't sure if it was amistake! i admire you having 9 children i find it difficult enough coping with 3 sometimes, although that still doesn't stop me thinking about having another :o

tbh. at the age of 29 I don't think you can avoid feeling broody from time to time - it's in our genes for most of us and you'll be aware of the fact you are still fertile and healthy all through your 30s, which is a long time. It's what you can do mentally to get yourself out of that mindset and that all depends on your personal circumstances.

I've got 10 years on you and had very difficult pregnancies. Altho i like the thought of another baby as a kind of 'snapshot' the reality would be very hard, and in some ways being older softens the blow for me, knowing that dd2 will be our last, as I don't think I could physically cope. It also took us 2 years to get pg with dd2 and i can't stand the thought of that all over again.

I know it would be different if I was 10 years younger. And, hey, your cirucmstances might change and you decide you actually do want another in a few years time. A lot can change in a few years.

sorry you're 27, not 29

This is the thread for me. Like pyshcomom5, I have 5 and my age (42 plus dh's strong insistence no more babies)means it is over. I also had a miscarriage this year so it all points to the end for me. And it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't think you can stop yourself from wanting more. Time just runs out on you. It is great you are young because you could have more later on if you feel you want more.I wouldn't say enough is enough and go for more if you feel you want to. Having a large family is wonderful.

I really DO NOT want any more. 36 with 3 kids and I really have no desire whatsoever to return there. 3rd child is only 14 months but I still look back when the other two were tiny and think "ahhhh those were the days" - although I know in reality those pre-school days can be awful and exhausting (look around at threads on here ). Despite all of that though, I think there is something very special about the pre-school days - something that just can not be captured in words.

Maybe Helenemjay - you are not ready to stop just yet? Agree with Moomin - time can change things. Maybe you will find yourself having another in a few years time. :)

helen ..i have 5 and truly thought that would be it...now we think we will have one more ..the baby is four months old and i am 38!!
I am not a mad crazy thing - i follow fashion and my house is quiet and ordered.....ish! I just hope the feeling will go after the next one!! If i were you i would have another - someone said on here ' you dont hear people saying'if only i had not had that fourth child''
good luck

also i am looking forward to the day when i can say 'this is us' and not feel there is someone still to meet!

Thanks for all your input everyone, the more i think about this the more enthusiastic i get about having another i had great pregnancies with all 3 of mine and although the first birth was traumatic ending in a emergency c-section i had elective c-sections with the other two and i recovered very quickly, i get pregnant very quickly and i still feel im young enough to cope with more kids, i cant find many negatives in the way of having another apart from the fact most docs recommend no more than 3 sections but im not aware of any problems in the last delivery and nothing was said....... omg im getting broody already at the thought alone! - theres no helping me i dont think ........

I wanted a 3rd, but dh really didi not. I got my head around it eventually then got pg with dd2 with a mirena coil in!
It wasnt easy - esp as my childminder was pg with no 3 when I was DESPERATE to have a 3rd.
I finally decided that my relationship with dh (who will hopefully be with me long long after children have flown the nest and had howevermany kids they want of their own) was more important thatn my desire to have more children myself.
It was actually pretty hard to deal with another pregnancy after deciding no (I was also very ill during the pg which made things harder and am still coping with the after effects 2.5 years on) and so I would say once you have decided make sure you are pretty much foolproof as far as birth control can take you (we now rely on a mirena AND a vasectomy!!).
that said, and maybe I am temting you here, I would not be without dd2, the baby who was never meant to be, for a single instant. She is the joy of my life and a very, very special little person.
You need to talk this through with your dh though, as mine still has toruble coming to terms with the baby he never expected to have - he loves her, but still sometimes resents the trouble she has caused to my health. If you are desperate for another baby, it is something that will never be resolved until you have truly discused it and aired your true feelings.