If your DH really wants to go to the wedding to the extent he's quite happy to leave his baby with random punters (which, basically to you is what they are - regardless of how nice and capable they might be) then why doesn't he go by himself? That would enable him to socialise with his mates and get a bit of me-time - he can't force you to leave your baby and if you do leave her at the creche and you're not happy, all that will happen is you will think about her the whole time, you will want to pop back to see her all the time and you won't enjoy the ceremony - I don't see the point of that (you'd also resent him by the way and I don't think that would be good for either of you).
Alternatively, if he doesn't fancy that, I don't see why you can't just miss the ceremony (by which I assume you mean the vows?) and meet up with your bloke after that;s finished - does it matter if you're not there in the church/hotel whatever when the vows are being said?
I bfed DS1 and never gave him a bottle and I didn't leave him with anyone other than DH for an hour or so until he was a year old and could take cows milk from a cup. Then I knew if I wasn't there and he was hungry someone could feed him. First time we left him was at my parents, I bfed him, put him to bed ,he fell asleep, we ran out, came back at 11pm - were gone 4 hours in total).
I was so glad I'd waited until I was ready to leave him with others, meant we really enjoyed our night out (were literally skipping along the street!) I didn't feel the need to call them at all, felt sure he'd be fine (he was) and we had a great night out as a couple. Some people might think its' ridiculous to have waited until he was a year old to do that, but I think you need to wait until you're ready, I'd never leave him if i thought I had to phone home several times to reassure myself - to me that defeats the purpose of time apart.
Some mums might have a great local support network, their babies might take bottles, they might just feel ready to have some me-time when their little ones are a couple of months old - that's absolutely fine - but it doesn't mean that your weird if you don't do that, we all have to make decisions based on our circumstances.
We also live in a town with no friends or family nearby.
I think you need to stress to your DH that you're just never going to be happy leaving your child with people you don't know (I wouldn't leave DS1 with random punters that hadn't been approved for childcare and he's nearly 4) and to suggest alternatives (e.g. you going to the wedding and missing the ceremony, you not going to the wedding at all).
I think you're being entirely reasonable and there has to be a compromise here (on his part - your child's safety and well being should never be compromised for a social event).