How to cope with the constant bickering, whining and fighting between brothers

[IlanaK]

I have two boys: one just turned two and the other is about to turn five. They are very loving and caring towards each other. BUT.....they drive me mad with the fighting, bickering etc.

They play well sometimes and then suddenly it turns. One or other is always crying about something the other one did. My older one doesn't seem to understand that he can't be happy and laughing at play fighting one minute and then expect his younger brother to understand that he doesn't want to do it anymore and get upset when it continues.

They fight over toys - though it is mostly my two year old taking things from my older son. Its a lot of small things - poking, proding and generally annoying each other.

We try to go out for as much of the day as possible which helps. But we can't be out all the time! We home school so they are together 24/7 which I am guessing is part of the issue. But it they are apart from each other for any reason, they miss and want the other!

I know this is probably all normal, but it is driving me crazy.

And on a practical level,. what I want is advice and strategies of how you deal with it when fighting happens and you are not in the room, how you moderate between them, and how you can make them understand each other better.

Any ideas?

similar issue here as ds1 is 4 and ds2 is 2 - very interested in replies.

Nobody has any suggestions?

you need to ignroe thema nd tellt hem ot sort it out themselves

if one cries and hte other one doesnt resolve it ehn oyu ened to poinbt out htta he has lost a mate toe play with

wonder if they need ot have time alone wiht you
si there any HUGE reasonw hy you dont send them to school?

i think you also need ot establicsht he rules of engagement vis a vis toys

CAN you home ed with a 2 year old running about the place?

Thanks for the replies.

I can and do home educate very successfully with a two year old running around the place. I don't think home ed is the issue.

My 5 year old gets plenty of time alone with me when my younger one is asleep in the day. I guess my two year old gets less alone time with me, but really does not seem to want it. He always wants to be wherever his brother is.

There are rules about the toys. We have always made it clear that all toys are both of their to be played with and if there is anything special that my 5 year old has, then he keeps it out of reach of his brother (he has shelves in his room).

I think what annoys me most is being in another room (making dinner or something) and hearing the screams from one or other of them and not knowing whether to intervene or not. When I just leave them to it, my older one usually comes to me angry because his brother has pushed, hit, etc. But it is hard to know the real situation as I did not see it.

tell them to kiss and love each other.

they may do this for a while but as they get older the idea becomes repulsive

mine are 4 and 12 and are exactly the same, i try to let them sort it out themselves, but it is hard!