Breastfeed to bottle

[Lollypop1983]

I'm fully aware I may get flamed for this, but I'm really just looking for some advice

My LO is 20 weeks old. I'm going to the doc this morning because all I've done for the past two months is cry about what a failure I am as a mother. Feeling totally down, and how I don't deserve my lovely little boy....anyway....

I've been bf LO without any real issues since birth, but now, with the way I feel, and LO feeding every 2 hours during the night, I feel that I need to start ff. I starting to resent that I can't be away from LO, I've not had a break, I've got no family around me to help. At least if LO was ff my DH could help with night feeds.

My question is how do I go about moving LO from bf to ff? I want to do it gradually, but have no idea where to start.

If anyone has done this, or has any advice, I'd be grateful.

Tia.

Lollipop I'm so sorry you feel like this. You don't sound like a failure at all! It's such a tough job. There is a book called What Mothers Do that helped me feel more positive in my role as a mother. Hopefully somebody will be along soon to advise on moving from BF-FF. Well done for making an appointment to see your GP.

Sorry you feel down.

Give one of the bf help lines a call, LLL are good.

At 20 weeks, your lo will be growth spurting and developing at such a fast rate, sleeping isn't on the agenda for most!

Bf'ing is great and convienient for some and not for others. Same goes for formula. What I will point out is formula is not a magic solution that will get your LO to sleep through. So, in theory, you could then be in a position that they're still waking every 2 hours and you have to make up a bottle.

My advice for the short term; arrange a half day off, hand baby over with breast milk or formula to DM /DP /MIL and take some time away from lo.

That time away from lo will help you work out a weaning off breast plan. Could be you go for mixed feeding which is also a popular and good option (ie one formula bottle a day, increasing to 2 by 6 months) etc

Chin up. You're doing great.

This too shall pass

second the suggestion to go to a support group. well done on getting this far with breastfeeding. You've done a wonderful thing.

can I just ask whether expressing might be an option of you may need your dp to take over some feeds? It may make the transition easier. I really would advise going to talk to someone in person though. Good luck x

Remember -how you feed your child is irrelevant, as long as he's fed. He needs you, he only knows you and you are important to him. Don't think that he doesn't deserve you. Who's carried him for 9 months? Fed him for 20 weeks? Cuddled him and loved him! You have. That's amazing and I say it genuinely - you can do this.

What support have you got?

Bfing is on you, but other baby stuff doesn't have to be - bedtime done by DP/DH? Walk in the park with Grandparent or aunt?

You need time off - expressed milk or formula can be that release you need.

Oh, I had this too. I wanted to swap bf for ff when ds reached 6 months. I ended up going cold turkey at 8 months as dropping feeds wasn't happening for us. He just wouldn't touch a bottle at all.

Will your dc take a bottle at all?

I used nuk latex teat, having tried every one going, including the medela calma ones. Once he took a bottle though, he would take any one, any teat with any milk. It was just that initial getting him to take a bottle.

Let me know if you want to talk anymore about it. I'm reluctant to go into detail as my way was different to how you wanted to do it and I don't want to confuse you or complicate things. Gently dropping feeds is the ideal , and most gentle way, but it didn't work for us, so I don't have successful experience of it to share IYSWIM.

Good luck either way, it's a horrible place to be, feeling like this, and so many people say things like preserve, it will get easier, honest, but it's not what I wanted to her, hats for sure.,

Thanks everyone.

Feel better now that I spoke to GP. Of course, she can't give me meds because I'm bf, but did give me some pointers on what to do.

GP suggest to get DH to give two ff a day, and take it from there. Means that I could get a break overnight.

I've tried to express lots of times, just can't get any out. I sit for an hour and manage an ounce- if that! Also the only time that my nipples bled

We moved house when LO was 8 weeks. Away from family, friends etc, so got no one to leave LO with.

Felt guilty about giving LO formula, but now I've spoke to someone, I think that's the only way forward.

Lollypop1983 babies sleep, a lot. Just not at convenient times!

I know this may be something you already know but have you tried just napping when baby does? I take it this is your first and you are not working at the moment?

The extra sleep should really help improve your mood.

Good luck.

At the min, my LO is only napping on me, as soon as I put him in cot, he has his eyes wide open. Have tried putting him in when he is sleepy, and stoking him. Have tried him in his pram, he only naps on me during the day. But I'm hoping he'll grow out of it. I do try everyday to have him nap in his cot.

It's not the lack of sleep that getting to me, cos I do sleep during the night when hes sleeping. Ok, it's broken, but I know I'm lucky that he wakes for a 20 min feed then sleeps for another 2 hours. It's not like he's up for hours on end (although there has been 1/2 nights like that!)

hi lollypop

Your LO sounds like mine (would only sleep on me for first 3 months, then would sleep in cot but woke very frequently and would only nap in moving pram). then I did sleep training (controlled crying) and after that she slept in the cot and woke up much less at night. Is that something you would consider? I know it is a fairly harsh solution, and many don't approve of it, but it may be the lesser of two evils given the way you are feeling (that is how I felt anyway).

don't underestimate the effect of broken sleep... our bodies really need 4 hours unbroken sleep to feel rested. Like you I didn't think I was that tired as i was getting sleep albeit broken sleep... but once dd started to sleep better I realised just how tired I had been, I suddenly had the energy to have fun with her instead of just surviving the day.

re switching to ff - the biggest issue with switching to ff is usually getting the baby to accept a bottle. often the best way to do this is for you to go out and leave DH with the baby and bottle.

if you crack the bottle acceptance, the next biggest issue is avoiding engorgement which can lead to blocked ducts and mastitis. Don't skip more than one breastfeed in a row, and don't switch too many feeds to ff at once - give your boobs a few days to adapt before switching another feed.

best of luck, keep us posted x

Definitely worth calling a bfing line, they have great advice and can personalise it - also worth checking out kellymom.

One note of caution - ffing does not always mean longer between feeds, unless there is another circumstance like cosleeping + bfing that is driving the frequent waking. DSIL ffed and still fed every 2 hours during growth spurts - though on the plus side, at least she and DH could take turns!

Thanks for advice.

Mini pie, I wouldn't do controlled crying until he was at least six months...that's just personal choice. I feel he's just too young at the minute. I have put him in his cot and left him while I had a shower for example. Probably 5-10 mins max. The times I've came through and he's been crying, I've felt terrible.

Surviving the day....that is exactly how I feel sometimes. I feel guilty because we should be having fun

We tried a bottle last night...two types. One he just wouldn't take to, the other he started to, before rejecting. We'll try again tonight once DH gets home. Hopefully!

Doc said to drop two feeds, last one at night and an overnight one. This should be okay.

Think I will call BF helpline. That's a good suggestion thank you!

Will keep you updated!