DD1s best friend is a braggart :o(

[Noomininoo]

DD1 is 6 yo & has a best friend who is in the same year as her but is 9 months older. Her & DD1 get on quite well but she is always putting DD1 down. She is constantly boasting about how she's one of the smartest in her class & how she can do this & that & how much older she is than DD1 & how much better she is than DD1 at everything (even though academically I know she's not) & how much more 'grown up' than DD1 she is & how babyish & annoying she finds DD1 etc, etc...

During play dates I also notice that BF will dominate the play & only play what SHE wants to play. Everything DD1 suggests is dismissed as being 'babyish' or 'stupid' & despite my best efforts to get her to compromise she will point blank refuse to play & will just take herself off to another room & start colouring or doing something else by herself.

The problem is DD1 is quite shy & not very good at making new friends so she only has maybe 1 or 2 other (casual) friends, neither of which she sees out of school due to conflicting work patterns/different after school activities etc.

DD1 doesn't have a lot of confidence & I'm afraid this friendship is undermining it even more. I want to give my DD1 the tools she needs to deal with this kind of relationship but don't really know what to advise her for the best (especially as I'm probably one of the least assertive people on the planet myself). I don't want her friendship with this girl to become one big point scoring exercise but I also don't want DD1 to feel as though she is constantly being put down.

Any advice...?

I would start finding other things to do, my dd has now realised what her "best friend" is really like and it's a huge relief.
My dd is older, 9 and this "friend" had really dominated things, she is older too & then started to lead her astray- walking into town on their own without telling anyone - my dd "did not feel safe" - her words. After this happened we set a few more rules! Still makes me feel ill.
I used to say yes you can play all the time but will happily lie that we are busy now!
Different situation but I knew that this kid was not good for her and now we don't see so much of the bf my dd has much more fun, i'm less stressed too!

Feel for you as that must be a really difficult situation. I can only suggest talking to your dd and making her realise that she is a special little girl who can do many things, and that some friends are better than others at making you feel good about all that you can do. Sometimes if a friend isn't playing very nicely or is making you feel unhappy then it might be better to play with another friend. I would also probably cut down on the amount of out of school socialising they do. She is only 6 so hopefully will grow up in time and behave a bit better.

We have this with our dd too, her best friend recently came to dd's party and demanded we stop the music and arrange everyone in a row so that she could put on a show, she got in a right strop when i said no!

I have found encouraging other friendships to be a good idea - this holiday we have not seen the child in question at all, but we have been out with others and had them round to play.
Dd is 8 now and is starting to notice that her friend is not really all that nice. I have spoken to her gently about things that friends don't do - making her feel bad and putting her down is not being a friend

wow, a 6 year old bully. They start young these days.

I second the gentle suggestions that your daughter might have more fun with another friend, rather than this little princess. Mummyxtwo puts it perfectly.

it will also do the madam good to be dumped. Never too early for life lessons.

Never too early to teach her to say "No - that doesn't work for me"
Can you get her involved in any after school activity or class that the other child doesn't do and encourage any friends made there?
What is your relationship like with the parents of the other child? Can you mention that she is being a little bossy about what they should do/play/has rather a high opinion of herself without them taking mortal offence?
The only other thing I can suggest is looking into books and techniques to teach your child to be assertive. The harsh truth is that her princess friend won't be the last person to push her around if she doesn't learn to say no.

Hi Noo this 'friend' indeed sounds a right pain in the neck handful!
I couldn't quite gather from your post, all the stuff you know about this girl, has a lot of it come from what your DD is communicating to you? what's her opinion of the friend? And is she saying she is unhappy with her? If so then this is your chance for a bit of gentle life-teaching eg. telling your DD she is NOT stupid and babyish, some people are born later than others, which makes them younger...it does not make 'friend' better than she is. OR if 'friend' is being bossy talk to her about this, how it isn't pleasant, sharing and listening to each other is a better way to behave.

Just short and sweet, doesn't need to be a long lecture! Show her an example of how to stand up for herself eg say "Suzie we have played a lot of your games how about an idea I have had, I would like to play xyz". At the same time steer her wherever possible to more pleasant children so she has the opportunity to see how it should be done! Good luck, hope it sorts out.