Just yelled at DD and feel bad

[meatloaf]

At bedtime DD (5yo) was messing around with one of her toys, so I took it from her and told her to get dressed. (She had already been told it was bedtime and what I was expecting from her).

She starts moaning and I tell her to stop moaning and being a brat. She then starts crying and I ask her to stop and then yell at her

She said she couldn't stop crying because I was shouting. So I said I would stop after I count to 3 and she needed to stop crying. She did. Got her PJs on and into bed.

Now I feel really really bad at yelling at her. It's been a long day for us both and she was crying prob because she was tired (fell asleep v quickly).

I really hate it when she cries because she gets told off and it sets me off. I really want and need to stop shouting because I don't want to be that mother and in the long run I don't think it's in anyway productive for either of us. She is a well behaved and generally chilled out little girl, which makes me feel even worse

I would do anything for love .....

seriously I shout when I don't mean to as well.
tonight I shouted at ds as he kept kicking me

unfortunately he didn't take much notice

We've all been there. Being a mother is so intense and when you've had a long day it's hard to contain your frustration sometimes. I shouted at my 2 year old the other night and felt awful and vowed not to do it again and I have been more conscious of it at night when we're both tired and took a deep breath and remained calm. She'll have forgotten all about it by morning, just give her a hug and try and forget about it.

I find that my patience and tolerance levels do a dramatic nosedive at 6pm, to the point that I frequently wonder at that time "how can I keep it together for the next hour till the dc's bedtime?" It's very hard at the end of the day in particular, although tbh my dc's can drive me close to the edge at any moment in the day. I don't always manage not to shout, so not sure I can offer great advice. I always feel terrible about it too. Try to take a deep breath and remind yourself that she'll be in bed soon, and you can manage a little superhuman burst of patience in the short term so that you can both then do her bedtime without feeling bad. I think if you lose it and shout, all you can really do is say sorry for shouting and give them a hug. Ds1 now pre-empts me and said recently after I'd got cross about something "are you sorry for shouting, Mummy?"

Yep, I always feel awful about shouting, either first thing when I'm tired or last thing. I try and step away now, if I do shout I tell dd that mummy gets cross sometimes too and I'm sorry for shouting as soon as I've calmed down a bit.

Thanks for all the comments. The past couple of days have been so much better. I also had a word with DD and said I would not shout if she tried to moan less.