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Original poster

Potty training since Easter and it's all gone wrong.

9 replies

wellsie · 15/06/2006 19:57

Help. Have been potty training DS since Easter, he is nearly 2.6yrs and baby no.2 is due in 11 days time.
We have been successful with the wees up until last week but the poo's have been a complete hit and miss affair, most of them landing in the pants Sad
Anyway, going back to the wee's, he had been asking to go on the potty for a wee but last Wednesday he seemed to lose the ability and since then we have had goodness knows how many accidents, he has just done one in my little old Mini which he was helping to wash so am a little unhappy.
He knows what he's done and will come and tell you, "mummy, I wet myself" I don't get cross but perhaps I've been a bit soft and just said in a nice calm voice "oh dear, never mind, next time we do it on the potty" but just lately each next time is a repeat of the first time with puddles on the floor.
Anyway, I'm wondering if I need to be a bit firmer with him, my Mum did suggest leaving him in his wet clothes for a bit just so he gets uncomfortable and might learn from that, trouble is I'm worried this might traumatise him even more. The other option I was considering was just not talking to him at all, changing him and sorting out the mess without a word - silent treatment.
Your words of wisdom would be very much appreciated as I really don't know how to move on from here.
Thanks in advance.
Wellsie

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Original poster
wellsie · 16/06/2006 21:07

Bump, 10 days until baby no.2 arrives. Please help.

OP posts:
bouncyball · 16/06/2006 21:22

wellsie
my gut instinct is to tell you to sack it and wait a bit. Far too stressful at this time so give yourself a break and use nappies. I say this for several reasons;

  1. don't think wet treatment or ignoring him is a good idea
  2. birth of new sibling is a stressful and uncertain time for toddlers so new potty training routine is too stressful for him
  3. you've got enough to worry about without adding the burden of a successful potty training (if its unsuccessful is that his fault?!)
  4. 11 days is just too short a period of time now
  5. he'll probably regress when the baby arrives 'cos they often do (then stress has been for nothing)
  6. he may not have full bladder and bowel control yet

I have been potty training for 3 weeks now with my 2.6 DD and have cracked wee but not quite poo thats hit and miss. tried earlier in year but had same result. she knew she was wet but could not do anything about stopping the wee or indeed knowing she needed to do it. so sacked the idea and tried 4 months later (now). Much better result and clearly has bladder control now.

Hope thats helpful and good luck with birth (I also have 8mth DS so memory is still fresh but not horrific!)

bouncyball · 16/06/2006 21:25

wellsie
just remembered someone said shorts were a better idea than pants because pants give them the secure feeling that the nappy gives them and shorts let it all hang loose so they are more aware. just in case you decide to continue or for the next time you try!!

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PetitFilou1 · 16/06/2006 22:06

Wellsie I agree with most of what bouncyball has said. But.....I am not sure whether I would give up or not since you've got this far. I feel divided on that. Sounds suspiciously as though your ds senses the new arrival being imminent and is reacting, albeit a bit prematurely. I don't think the poo thing is anything to worry about though having read lots of other threads on the subject - seems to take much longer to sort than the wee. However, having said I wouldn't give up totally, I found going from one to two children as much of a shock as having my first (I have a 19 month gap) and the first six months were very hard going. So you may decide to backtrack and start again later - might well be a wise decison. I wouldn't personally leave my ds in his own mess or ignore him - sends out funny messages especially when a new baby is coming soon. But up to you in the end!

GDG · 16/06/2006 22:08

I agree with bouncyball and tend to think if it's not working, he's not ready. With both ds1 and ds2 I tried around 2.5 or 2.6 and got nowhere in the first 4 days or so and stopped. When I did it again - both at about 2.9/2.10 they cracked it in 3 days. Easy peasy.

With so little time till your next one arrives, I'd chill, put his pull ups back on and worry about it in a few months time when I bet it will be 100 times easier, even though you'll have a baby.

It's not the worlds worst disaster if you are doing it at age 3 either.

GDG · 16/06/2006 22:11

Agree with others - your ds may also sense your increasing anxiety around it and that's not good with a new baby arriving soon either. Honestly, I'd forget it and relax - you've got enough to deal with and he's clearly not ready. Smile

Original poster
wellsie · 19/06/2006 20:30

Thank you for your responses, only a week to go before B-day and today has been ok apart from a poo in the pants. Trouble is I'm really having to try hard to get him to sit on the potty and he is getting really upset about it. I know he needs a wee because he's doing that "wee dance" that they do but he still refuses to go on it, I try and make it fun, making a game of who can get there first, encouraging him with bribes (chocolate buttons and stickers) but it's like he couldn't care and he'd rather have an accident. When he does have an accident he's like "oh dear mummy, you get me new pants now"
Am wondering about giving up but we've been doing this since Easter and it's only 2weeks ago that I thought we'd cracked the weeing bit only to take a massive step backwards. Am worried that if we stop now he'll think he's won and when we come to try again it'll be even harder because he'll be even more determined not to get on the potty. Your words of reassurance about putting him in pull ups would be most welcome.

OP posts:
notagrannyyet · 19/06/2006 22:24

I would put him into pull ups.Its 9 weeks since Easter he probably isn't quite ready yet.Lots of boys aren't potty trained before they're 3.Give yourselves a break until you are settled with your new baby.
One of my 5 sons was just over 3 before he was dry in the day.Another simply wouldn't use a potty.He would simply pull his pants down and wee when & where he wanted to, so DH made him a step so that he could stand up and wee like his brothers.It is a major mile stone at the time,but in the long run the age at which he's dry won't matter.

suie · 26/07/2006 21:54

My 2/10 has a potty phobia, she can hold herself for 6 hours at a time and has then gone a further hour in agony dancing but still will not go, so i always given in as it just isn't worth it. Tried everything in the book but she hates any attention on her and I am afraid about 10 months ago she asked for her nappy off and to wee in the potty which she did and I priased her rather too enthusiatically; this has resulted in her phobia. She will sit on with her clothes on after alot of coaxing but still very wary. Yes I have tried leaving it for 2 months at a time, tried on numberous different pottys which I have let her choose and let her choose character pants Have left potty in a room on its own so she could use in privacy to put her in control. I am not that bothered about her not been potty trained its the phobia thats bothering me. She has lots of little friends who I let her see using the potty. Should I forget about it completely

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