Life just hit a new low

[darcycat]

My dd age 9 trashed the house today because I asked her what she wanted for lunch. Can't take much more violence against me her sister and DH. Rang a therapist and dragged whole family there earlier. Tucking into wine now feel like a complete failure.

Oh you poor thing, you're not a failure!

Has your dd got any Special Needs? It's awful when they're violent isn't it? Makes you feel like utter rubbish.

No thornrose she hasn't but both my sister and DH's sister had mental health problems from a young age. She's fine at school too just at home and with my parents. I'm at my wits end have never used physical punishment but timeout isn't working anymore and she's picking things up to hit us with. I bought her an anger management book which she ripped up and put in the bin! Not sure what's happened to my family and I don't have anyone to confide in. Decided at least a counsellor is paid to listen and help so after a wad of cash might have a way forward. Thought I'd already given up my idealistic perfect family dreams when DH was diagnosed with MS didn't realise there were so many new lows to plumb. My sis is also disabled so can't bother her, my parents advice would be to hit her like they did with us. I don't have any close friends around here and too ashamed tbh to admit what is going on. Sorry self pitying rant over I know so many worse off I just never thought I'd suck quite so bad at being a parent.

Could you talk to your GP? She may need assessment if she can't control these feelings. They may be able to send her to someone who can help.

Or what about some other outlet for her aggression in controlled circumstances, such as martial arts. Or take her to yoga to learn relaxation?

Sorry have no direct experience but do have MH in family and know its best to speak up and ask for help. Hope you can get some help soon.

Thanks HPSauce... I know from when DH diagnosed that waiting list is months long here so I'm going to pay. Life's to short to feel like this. DD does lots of activities with that in mind but it doesn't always help. I've tried loads of selfhelp books and sticker charts but she's getting too big and too violent. I can't help but worry that she's inherited mentail health problems from both sides. She needs a lot of one to one attention but with younger dd around she feels she never gets enough and work and life etc all seem to get in the way.

Tomorrow will be another day all be it with a hangover I think I just needed a rant no one ever admits their kids are anything less than overachieving perfects except on here where you can say the stuff you never would in RL.