Help!!

[MumForever08]

My sons dad intimidates the out of me. I shake with fear when I have to come into contact with him.. I shake when I see his name flash up on my phone.. I even shake when I have to text him about something :( in case I say the wrong thing and he starts throwing abuse and name calling. He used to threaten me ALL the time.. And I mean horrible threats like he's going to burn down my house and kill my entire family.. That I was worth going to prison for and his son will understand when he grows up. Or he's going to carve his initials into my forehead with a Stanley blade.. The list goes on.. He didn't stop at me either my family and friends were all threatened on multiple occasions. This is all AFTER I found out I was expecting and left our toxic relationship. The threats stopped eventually.. I think because he knew I was contemplating goin to the police and he knew he could lose his son. And he never carried out a single threat. But he still frightens me.. He still intimidates me and makes me feel worthless.. He just words it all better. I don't know weather I need counselling or what but this is just not alright! I can't live with this for the rest of my life.?Y do I let him have a hold over me!? Has anyone else been in a similar situation.. And if so how did you overcome it?

Ps: Our son means the world to his dad and his safety is not an issue whatsoever. You can be a lowsey partner and still be a good parent as Jeremy Kyle says :) x

Hi, god, I don't blame you for being anxious at all. That's awful.

I really think you'd benefit from posting this in the relationships section too - I've seen threads very similar to yours there and the posters have had some great advice and support.

Best of luck

Not sure I'd go by what Jeremy Kyle says. Your son's father isn't teaching him how to respect other people.

Do post this in the relationships topic though as should get good advice there.

Hi there
I second going to the relationships section, you should come across some people who have been in similar situations. Also, counselling would prob be a a good idea - you don't have to live like this! You've done a really brave thing leaving him and now it is time to look after yourself and your boy.

You could talk to women's aid (different phone numbers in each area, but just google womens aid and name of your town). THey can just talk to you over the phone, but can also help put you in touch with people that can help. You can talk to them anonymously at first if that might help.

I agree get this moved to Relationships, report your own post and ask for it to be moved. You'll get good support in Lone Parents section too.

Not sure I agree with Jeremy there. A good dad doesn't say those things to anyone, nevermind the mother of their dc. Because it doesn't set a good example and it would frighten the child if they heard it. Who tries to hurt the person who is providing full time care to their child?

Anyway. Have you contacted Women's Aid? They are great for talking things through and working out how to deal with different situations.

You can take control of this, insist he only emails you, doesn't come into your house etc. It isn't too late to report it to the police either, so you will have evidence in case you need it in the future. They should have a specialist domestic violence unit and can put your phone number on an alert list so you just have to dial 999 and they immediately come round - would give you peace of mind if he did start any threatening behaviour again. Also speak to your gp about how anxious you are.