feeling blue and low

[Tutter]

in tears this morning. ds (12mo) is exhausting. not happy to sit and play with toys - screams and cries a lot - out of frustration (not walking? not talking?) and constantly wants to get his fingers into drawers/the dishwasher/oven/doors/cupboards. up since 5:15 this morning. smacks me in the face a lot. throws food on the floor.

please someone tell me this is normal. i was expecting it when he reached 2 but not yet - how can a 12mo be such a grotbag???

I would say that's fairly normal! I found that period of dd's life hard to handle and would often look forward to going to work just to get a break. I think you are right about the frustration- they are just becoming little people rather than babies. They have needs but can't express themselves. It will get easier so don't be hard on yourself- once he can communicate what he wants he will be much less frustrated.
As far as the hitting goes try to grab his hand next time he does it and firmly say 'no hitting mummy it makes mummy sad'. My dd used to pinch my neck- I used to feel like a stuck record repeating it all the time but it did work.
Do you get out and about much? Things can often seem worse when you are left on your own for a while. My DH would leave the house at 6.15am and get home at 7pm. Some days seemed so long! Keep your chin up chick you are doing a great job!

thanks sallyc. i'm normally out and about at least once a day - this week my fellow mum friends aren't around much - maybe that's one reason why i'm feeling the strain more than usual. i'm a SAHM so can't escape to work. today was one of those days where i watched dh leave for work at 6:30 and i thought "12 and a quarter hours til he gets home". i used to hate going in to work - doing the commute with him, but boy, can these days at home seem long sometimes.

i think he's bored when we're at home. but then again he kicks off if he's stuck in the pram or car for too long, so it's a constant challenge thinking of things to occupy him.

he's such a busy guy and demands so much attention. the obsession with doors is wierd though - right now he's opening, closing, opening, closing, opening......

i'll keep on with the "don't hit mummy" line then [weak smile emoticon].

just having one of those days....

normal!!!

ds (13mo) can play on his own (with me in the room, of course) for short periods, but soon comes wanting to be entertained or to 'entertain' himself by opening drawers, going for the computer switch... He does sometimes do something which in an older child could be interpreted as 'smacking' but I see it - at his age - as over-exuberant exploratkion or affection. As for throwing food around... been there, done that, got the (very stained) T-shirt...

Early waking - is his bedtime too early, possibly? ds doesn't go to bed until 9 (and often goes to sleep later than that - he still needs bf to sleep) but then does sleep until we wake up in the morning - he's rarely awake before 7. He is one of those babies who just don't seem to need all that much sleep (will sleep anything from half an hour to 2 hours in the day - very unpredictable). Evenings can drag on when we're knackered and desperate for some time 'off duty', but I think I prefer it to really early waking.

I do sympathise - but he's not being a grotbag, really he's not, he's just learning about the world and his interacton with it - not always a smooth process.
:)

x posts. ds loves his doors too :) - especially opening and closing the patio doors (very amusing to see this tiny 3rd-centile boy pushing this great big patio door around :) ) - I think because they reflect. I think 'opening and closing', 'in and out' starts being a big issue atthis sort of age.

Do you go to any baby groups? We don't - we were fairly new to the area when I got pg, frequently away, and on top of everything else I work as well -, but I'm thibking of starting a little one up (with other bilingually educated cildren) because I think he's really beginning to need interaction with children his age.

Hopefully if good weather continues you can get out in your garden- possibly a whole new world he hasn't explored before? Get a little sand tray and let him get on with it.
I think the fascination with the drawers is that he realises he has an effect on something- he understands that if you pull it opens. We put catches on all our cupboards apart from the ones I didn't mind dd getting in to such as the pots and pans. That would keep her busy for a while bashing them with a wooden spoon.
Mumsnet is a godsend- I wish I had discovered it during my low moments. Keep posting

Normal too I think. Trying to think back to my 3 and I think when they are mobile it can really make a difference - any chance of mobility any time soon do you think?? I always thought at this stage they could be a bit bored if not able to move independently.......hang on in there.

Get out in the nice weather??

Could he be a bit ill?? (lots of stuff going round oop here)

sorry dont mean to sound patronising and always have a hip flask of brandy near to hand is my top tip........and breathe.........

thanks all. he is his mother's son and i really (really!) wouldn't change him - all this stuff is fascinating to me (when i'm not having a bad day!) as it suggests the kind of person he is growing into. i don't think i'll ever be bored being his mum!

sallyc - being in london we have a small garden - paved over - so not really suitable for romping babies. but i live near kew gardens so try to get there a couple of times a week for him to let off steam.

yes, i think he may be getting too much sleep. am planning on cutting back on his naps to see if that helps with the early waking...

If he has more than one nap, you might think of moving to just the 1?

ds used to sleep twice during the day - he still sometimes does, but he seems to be moving more and more to one (often - but not always [aaaargh emoticon] - longer) sleep around the middle of the day.

fit - it's a bit chicken and egg at the moment - while he's waking at 5-6am there's no way i can keep him going til lunchtime without a sleep. my plan is to gradually shift the first sleep back and back until it eventually becomes the only sleep of the day.

he's been awake since 5:15 today and is showing signs of being ready for a sleep now (well, he has been all morning actually ) but i want to keep him going til closer to 10. if he then has a big sleep maybe he can get away with only a short nap later.

(he's still awake! maybe i can get him to last til lunchtime... )