100% total sleep meltdown - any advice appreciated!

[delilah89]

I have posted on here before about my 9 month old DD's bad night sleep but it has got worse and I am so exhausted I really need some help. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and don't know what to do.

She always resists sleep, only naps in buggy after much strolling and has recently dropped afternoon nap. She goes to sleep at 6.30ish but wakes more than six times throughout the night, never resettling until I give her a FULL feed (still breastfed). So she literally has six full feeds, both sides, in the night. Then she wakes at 5.30 for the day.

During the day she's quite happy but pretty much refuses food as full of milk. She was weaned very successfully and used to eat properly and with enthusiasm. Also she's very clingy and particular. I think she is just over tired.

I did before try and follow a routine someone posted on here about gradual withdrawal but couldn't get it to work as she woke up so many times in the night and it was during the heatwave I couldn't be sure she wasn't thirsty.

Any advice welcome - I am a wreck, and need to try something new.

p.s. She's now almost 10 months, crawling and pulling up, almost cruising.

please help me! Bedtime approacheth!

Ok I know this might seem tough - but if you want her to eat in the day and stop feeding at night ,.. Then you have to make that decision and carry it through ! If you were ok with her feeding all night then .. Fine. But that is bloody knackering and you need to remember that or is okay to want to sleep - you need to stop feeding her at night, slowly but I promise it's not as hard as you think.

My ds went from several feeds a night to about two pretty quickly when I decided I couldn't take it any more ... At a similar age. Just gradually reduce feeds - why I did was send in dp - who patted/ sang back to sleep - we didn't pick up from the cot ... But it's up to you. Very quickly he stopped waking up so often as he learnt to fall asleep without the boob

I really recommend the No cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley

Also the millpond clinic sleep clinic

what is your rough daytime routine; food milk and nap times? does she self settle at 6.30 or do yoy feed her to sleep?

Sorry - sleep clinic book

Basically - you need to have a few tiring nights of taking longer to settle her if you want to stop the night feeding

Re co sleeping personally I would move to a cot now .. Sleep next to the cot on the floor to get baby used to it ..

Can you afford any nursery sessions? To give you a break. Or any family that could give you some sleep time? Will dd take a beaker or bottle so someone else could do a few nights? In general I agree that you need to reduce the night feeds and have her eating food in the day, it sounds like a nightmare, hope you manage to crack it.

She is in cot in own room - she's not frightened of it as such just trapped in a habit of wake up a little, boob, back to sleep. Fed her while awake tonight and then let her grumpily cry to sleep being cuddled then in cot. Does that sort of thing help? So confused.

Ok this is how I see it. Babies wake in the night like grown ups do - what you are working towards is the happy place where they wake but roll around and then go back to sleep without needing intervention from you - once you stop feeding them at night it is amazing how much better they sleep ... But partly I think it's a cycle of you stepping in too quickly before they can settle themselves back to sleep

Make a decision about how often you will feed at night - wrote it down so you are clear about what is happening - then if she wakes before she is due a feed you don't pick her up from the cot - you stay with her patting singing whatever .. Until she falls asleep again ... And repeat everyone she wakes outside of feeding time.

She will cry but you will notice the cries spacing out as age rolls about and falls asleep ....I can't speak for all babies but this worked really really quickly for us

You have to make sure she eats well in te day as well

I really sympathise it's hell and hard to think clearly when so tired

If you can afford it I would recommend asleep trainer ... Just to guide you when you are too tired to think!

Thank you, I will try that. The thing is she stands up when she wakes up, right up on her feet! It is a nightmare keeping on lying her back down.
I wish wish wish I had sorted this out before she was mobile. I will do it all perfectly with the next baby!!

You are over thinking the standing up issue - and I mean that totally kindly as I remember freaking out about it myself - it is such a brief problem - just keep lying her down she will at a certain point just stay lying down - it's really really boring but focus on what you want to achieve o- for example going 6 hours between feeds at night - then any other wakings just be completely consistent in not feeding

It's exhausting to do because the easiest solution is to feed to sleep - but we did it by choosing the weekends to work on sleep so we both knew we could recover from the broken nights

I found the book no cry sleep solution good because it recommended writing down your actual goals for the night which is very helpful when you are delirious with lack of sleep

What seems really hard now is actually not that hard - just focus on the fact that she needs to learn that night time is for sleep and feeding is for day - it's not cruel !

Adults eat in the day an sleep at night so she is on a journey towards that - my ds was feeding many times in the night an I really thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel but it was so so much easier than I could have believed to stop those night wakings

Am happy to pm you with details of how we cracked the sleep problem ....