Top tips for lazy parenting

[spritesoright]

I'm thinking of writing a book of top tips on lazy parenting (not really, that would be too much work). Ideas include the following:

1. Teach toddler to walk asap so you don't have to push them around
2. Choose playgroups based on availability of tea and nice cakes so you can sit and relax. Avoid those that encourage 'hands on' parenting, i.e. stalking.
3. Try to make use of the fact that toddlers think helping is fun but know that ultimately it will be counterproductive. Still, it's better than having them make another mess elsewhere.
4. Baby led weaning. And get a splash mat so you don't have to wipe the whole floor afterwards.

Any other tips most welcome, cheers!

Pinafore dresses for school age DDs so you only need to iron shirt collars or just give them a stretch .
Train older sibling to make breakfast/turn telly on for younger one.
Pocket money dependent on completion of chores.
Make DCs come to YOU if they want something

Dd only calls for daddy in the night. Result.

Take the long term benefit over short term gain. Parenting us long haul, not short term, si shutting kids up by giving in or switching off, will be more effort long term.

Genuine partial deafness.

They have to come and speak to me, and it's. quicker and easier for them to do something themselves that to try and get me to hear and understand what they 'need' when I'm not particularly interested.

In the mornings: Bed. Laptop. CBeebies. Strong coffee. Trashy novel .

Never buy clothes that need ironing, if you receive clothes that require ironing dress dc in them once whilst they are still smart from the shop, send photo to well meaning relative/friend and put the offending clothes in the too small for dc bag.

Breastfeed if you can, free, you can't leave your boobs at home and you can do it one handed so you can mumsnet whilst the baby naps.

IKEA is a great day out for a newly mobile baby, baby can crawl/cruise around the pretend rooms and you can have coffee and a cake for 50p whilst they nap.

Take all the baby's clothes off before you feed them, skin is whipable. The same with crafts.

Feed toddlers in the bath.

amistillsexy I give DS his meds, dessert (if he has one) and brush his teeth in the bath, result!

I invented a game this morning with 2yo DS. I put a massive towel on the floor (not carpeted!) and gave him a bowl of water so his toys could go swimming in it. After the swimming he had fun drying all the toys and the floor.... clean floor, no effort

oh, and still on the subject of water (seems to be a theme here..), bath crayons and a massive sponge to wipe the 'artwork' clean afterwards, clean bath!

Keep the heating on at home so your child can spend the day in just a nappy (or in cold weather, just one layer). Really cuts down on washing and you don't have to buy as many clothes if you only dress them when you go out.

If the tantrum last more than 10 mins tune them out/ divert their attention with 11 minutes of Octonauts on I player, then make self cup of tea (you need one).

Get a pet to hang out at the bottom of high chair to clean up any baby testing the theory of gravity with it's lunch.

Say loudly "is that cat licking it's bum" to divert tantrums.

Put pet in toddler room when settling toddler to bed to protect child from any imaginary spiders or monsters.

Foster. Then you don't have to do the pregnancy and birth :)