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Completely overwhelmed by mobile baby

14 replies

ZebraZeebra · 15/08/2013 16:38

I feel so stupid. DS is ten months and just started crawling. I feel completely overwhelmed by it, and it's not even like I didn't know it'd be hard. I've seen other babies in my NCT class start moving, and seen it be hard for their mothers.

Getting a nappy on is impossible. He wakes himself up in the night to move, and is obviously exhausted but it's like he's compelled to do so. We co sleep and he wakes us both up four or five times a night crying because he's sat or standing up. He fights everything I do and believe me, I pick my battles!

I feel like I manhandle him now and it makes me uncomfortable. To add, my previously very chilled out little baby cries or whinges over everything now. Nothing is right. Everything elicits tears. He crawls away from me and cries.

I've been very led by attachment style from the moment he was born and though it was tough in the early days, this new separation-anxiety phase - I guess from world getting bigger through moving - is something I'm really struggling with.

It's not that I think he should be able to play independently - I just don't know how to handle this little ball of developmental rage. He wants me but he doesn't, he climbs on my lap but then arches back like i am restraining him. My baby used to be so smiley and happy! It's almost like he's a toddler - or a teenager - right now, compelled to act in contradictory, confusing way because he doesn't know what he wants, how I can make it right, or how to communicate anything with me.

Please tell me it's a phase. Please tell me it will pass.

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feesh · 15/08/2013 16:54

Mine is the same, I have twins so the mobile stage is a nightmare. They are only 8 months, but recently crawling and now cruising. My girl twin is quite chilled (she never used to be!) but my boy twin, who was previously chilled, is exactly like you describe and he's driving me insane.

It's like he feels compelled to pull himself up to standing constantly, but he doesn't really want to at the same time, so once he is standing up he whines. Put him back down, he whines again, pick him up and he whines.

The most success I had today was actually when I locked them in their playpen. He was the happiest he had been all day. He actually looked relieved that he couldn't find anything to grab to stand against. He sat and played with his toys for more than 30 minutes and I was so relieved to get a break.

I'd read somewhere that a playpen is actually more relaxing for the baby as it gives them somewhere safe, there is no adult hovering over them telling them no, and they can relax and get into playing without other distractions. He couldn't really crawl anywhere and he couldn't get himself into a standing position, so he was happy to just sit and play.

Ours isn't actually a playpen, it's a fenced off area of our villa, but it works the same. We put padded floor mats down and the gates are custom made and too high for them to pull themselves up on.

I think it's going to be the best investment I ever made! Can you buy him a playpen or make him some sort of safe area?

mummy2benji · 15/08/2013 22:15

It's a phase! I remember ds1 having separation anxiety at 10mo and I couldn't leave the room to go to the toilet without him crying. And the house was suddenly awash with dangers and toddler hazards as he was everywhere and gravitated to anything dangerous or not babyproofed. I am now going through this phase with dd2 (9 1/12 months and started crawling at 7mo) and the environment is even more of a toddler death-trap! Hard to make sure a 4yo doesn't leave bits of lego and small toy cars about for a baby to then promptly shove in her mouth. It really does get better soon, and the next stage is delightful - walking and more interactive and responsive. Just bear with it as best you can and accept that you can't make everything safe, and you're not a bad mum if you: leave him to cry while you get dressed / put on make-up / make a cuppa etc, or if you find him happily chewing dirt / a piece of sofa stuffing / any small hazardous object. All the best!

mummy2benji · 15/08/2013 22:17

Oh yes, totally second the above about a baby prison. I mean playpen. Our is a cage-type thing from Mothercare which I have filled with toys and cushions and leave the door open for her so she can crawl in and out and think of it as a fun little den - then she doesn't mind so much when I shut the door on her!

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lola88 · 15/08/2013 22:26

DS goes through really moany phases where nothing makes him happy just before he does something new.

blueblackdye · 15/08/2013 22:36

My 2 DC were happy pushing the playpen around when they started standing up and walking. I could let them cry a bit in there to cook or get dressed or go to the loo because I knew they were safe. The age gap is 4 years but the second replicates what the first one did.

ZebraZeebra · 16/08/2013 16:36

Thank you everyone. I'm feeling more positive today. I think it must be the combination of moving and separation anxiety, making his world open up. I hate nappy change right now! Any tips on a moving but not standing nappy change?

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HearMyRoar · 16/08/2013 20:18

Distraction, distraction, distraction is the key for the nappy changes. Keep an amazing toy, plastic bottle with things is, scrunchy paper, whatever might hold his attention for a few minutes near the nappy changing stuff and hand over stuff as you go. I also recommend animal noises, silly faces and singing songs in daft voices.

Though of course there are times when nothing works and then you just have to pin them down and get it over with as quickly as possible. I hate nappy changing now dd is a toddler, can't wait for her to be out of the damn things.

Gooders79 · 16/08/2013 20:38

We had a very tricky one for nappy changes and had to pin down... I used to sit with my legs open in a v, baby under one thigh with bottom in between my legs, could then limit wriggling and get it done really quickly much better for all involved.

interwebmum · 16/08/2013 21:03

This tread has cheered me up. My DD is 8 months and determined to walk. It's so exhausting. She starts crying every time I sit her down. So I'm forced to keep walking round with her all day. We are on holiday so there are no baby proof places to put her down. I can't wait to get home and put her in the baby cage playpen.

MsFlippingHeck · 17/08/2013 15:20

Swap to pull-ups its loads easier.

lljkk · 17/08/2013 15:41

Pin down for nappies when out, also change standing up (I showered mine down in the bath!).

I think, with respect, maybe you need to chill out a bit. Just go with him the way he is.

Varya · 17/08/2013 15:47

Separate play-pens for my twins in the past! Otherwise they would beat each other up.. but like all things this phase diminishes and they will become easier as the weeks pass.

ZebraZeebra · 19/08/2013 12:21

lljkk I think yes to chilling out too!

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MiaowTheCat · 19/08/2013 14:03

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