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Parenting

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Original poster

Help - I have to hold my 6 week old all day long, any ideas?

23 replies

Pocket1 · 14/08/2013 20:24

My 6 week old daughter wont let me put her down during the day... I know she's little and needs a lot of TLC but I also know she's supposed to spend time on her back during the day. She sleeps most of the day... but always on me and she grizzles then cries every time I put her down in her moses basket, bouncy chair etc. She sometimes settles for a little while if I put her on a blanket on the sofa - but that's not really a place I can leave her for long. During the night she sleeps pretty well - but has to be held until she goes to sleep before we put her to bed.

I'm breastfeeding - and she generally falls asleep on the boob every time I feed her.

Are there any secrets to getting this little one to lay down during the day without being held?

Also, does it matter if she's sleeping most of the day - I think she's only awake for 3-4 hours a day.

TIA

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nextphase · 14/08/2013 20:31

Spend time on her back? I'd have thought that sleeping at night would do that.
Tummy time is something that lots of babies hate. Mine loved it. But holding her will also help her strengthen her neck muscles.

How about a sling? Thats how I dealt with a baby who wouldn't be put down. Blanket on the sofa doesn't sound brill. If you wrap baby loosely in blanket while still cuddling you, can you then transfer baby and blanket into moses basket? Thats the method that got the highest success rate for me.

Feeding to sleep is normal. You'll miss it when it stops working!

If shes sleeping at night, and happy when awake, it sounds like thats enough awake time for your LO.

Congrats on the new baby!

glenthebattleostrich · 14/08/2013 20:35

Yep, sling. Even better if you can learn to feed in one, just remember to put your boob away when answering the door (everyone from the Johovahs to the postie have seen mine when I was feeding, especially when DD figured out how to get to them herself)

slems · 14/08/2013 20:37

my baby slept on me, in a fabric sling, for most of the first few months (cot at night), she is now excellent cot napper and STTN at 5 months (much earlier than her bouncy-chair napping sister). And she slept most of the time for the first three months, they sound similar. I was worried but shouldn't have been. Might be worth trying to get her into a little bit of a routine in a few weeks (feed, nap, wake up and play on back/front/in chair, then back to feed) because once the naps were more routine, it was much easier to get my DD to sleep in the cot during them. I basically transitioned her one nap at a time until she was in the cot for all of them, but this was 4 months ish. I miss it now!! Slings are the best!

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waterrat · 14/08/2013 20:38

Get a sling .. Why do you think she needs time on her back? Don't worry this wont last ! I remember crying to my mum asking will I ever be able to put ds down .. Now he runs away from me!

McRoo · 14/08/2013 20:56

Mine did this and it was exhausting. I found a sling helped (moby wrap or other fabric type one). He also slept a lot during the day. Don't worry, it's what they do when they are small.

Other people are right. You will miss it. Mine is only 12 weeks and he's stopped falling asleep on me and I miss those lovely sleepy cuddles already.

lola88 · 14/08/2013 21:09

I used to put DS down next to me on the sofa like along my leg so he could still feel the heat and smell me then i gradually started to move away he got used to it pretty quickly. I hated wearing the sling and just needed some space away holding him all day was not something I wanted to do. I bought a swing and he went in that a lot couldn't keep his eyes open in it :)

KeepTheFaithBaby · 14/08/2013 21:13

Ah I have a baby who started like this. I bought a stretchy sling when she was 3 weeks old. It was a godsend! When I did put her down, I warmed something I'd worn (t-shirt) so it was warm and familiar smelling. Good news is she now clamours to be put down at times! Has done since she was about 9 weeks :)

Kafri · 14/08/2013 21:13

DS would not be put down for the first 8 weeks of his life, literally 24 hours a day! He wouldn't sleep on his back either as he had reflux.

Honestly, now, I really wish I hadn't fretted so much about it and just went with what he needed at that time. As it was, I held him but I was constantly looking for the solution and I now realise that there wasn't one, apart from time that is.

To everyone in RL who told me I was making a rod for my own back - I now have a happy, independent little 8m old who loves playing on his mat with his toys and commando crawling his way around our home.

Please, just go with what she is telling you she needs - it's such a short time and before you know it she'll need something completely different and you'll look back so fondly on those bloody hard weeks where you had the constant cuddles.

Original poster

Pocket1 · 14/08/2013 21:17

Wow thank you for all that great advice. It's nice to know that this is 'normal'.

In have a fabric sling and a baby bjorn but haven't used either yet, but will do so from tomorrow.

Health visitor told me they baby should not be kept in car seat for more than 2ish hours, and that translated into the news to spend time on her back in the day so she's not in a chair for too king in the day...

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Original poster

Pocket1 · 14/08/2013 21:21

So many typos but hope u get the gist (am on mobile while feeding!!). Also just got a huge smile from DD so we must be doing something right.

Thanks again for all the advice

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Mouserama · 15/08/2013 05:12

Do you have a playmat or playgym she can lie on? Not necessarily to sleep (although one day you may look down to find her fast asleep on it!) but to get her used to being on her back whilst there is something to entertain her. I started putting my DD on her playgym at 2 weeks old. She would stare for a couple of minutes before yelling at first, but now at 9 weeks, she loves it and will kick about for 30 minutes or so (and sometimes falls asleep). At 6 weeks, she was really starting to take notice of things on it and it would entertain her for 20 mins or so - and importantly would get her used to not being held all the time.

Original poster

Pocket1 · 15/08/2013 05:14

Hi mouse, yes I have. Ill try that too. Thank you

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Reiltin · 15/08/2013 05:47

Just keep putting her down. She'll get used to it. Mine took ages to get used to not being on me. Now she loves being in my vibrating chair.

waterrat · 15/08/2013 09:09

Car seat is not the same as being in your lap -or sling .. Car seat is an Unnatural curved position - if you have them on you it is a natural position

angeltattoo · 15/08/2013 09:44

Don't use the bjorn sling, use your fabric one - bjorn is supposedly not good for LO hips.

zoesmum2012 · 15/08/2013 16:33

My dd was like that to I just got a sling and put her on the floor and layed with her for a while the put a playgym over her and that don't the trick not all the time. Now she's 8 ms and crawling and hates being held for a long time wish I was u lol I miss just holding her and stareing. Good luck

BadgerFace · 24/08/2013 09:55

Hi Pocket - your name just popped into my head and I wondered when you had had your little one and searched and found you here - CONGRATS!!!!

Mini-BF slept for most of the day until about 3 months so don't worry about that. I hope Mini-Pocket's being a little bit easier now.

Mini-BF is nearly 8 months now, I can't believe how fast it's gone...

CityDweller · 24/08/2013 19:23

Mine was like this! We mostly went with it (with aid of stretchy sling) but also just persisted in trying to put her down even for a few mins. A little sheepskin rug helped, as did one of those playmats with stuff dangling over it. Bouncy chair took a bit longer to win her over and she'll still at 4 months only go in it for about 10 mins before getting shouty.

babybearsmummy · 25/08/2013 21:35

Ooh I had this too and my daughter's now almost 14 months and I miss those days sooo much... She's finding her own way about the place now and will only have cuddles on her terms!

I used to lie her on my chest, tummy to tummy, and prop her head sideways on my boob so she could feed away, make sure you are slightly reclined on your bed or sofa with lots of pillows behind you, cuppa and choc next to you and laptop on your lap! When l.o stops feeding she can sleep on you too :)

babybearsmummy · 25/08/2013 21:37

Just make sure that you change which side her head is facing from time to time so she doesn't get an achey neck, from experience my l.g used to sometimes adjust herself if she needed to but other times needed me to rearrange her!

Original poster

Pocket1 · 28/08/2013 18:41

Thank you all for your fab help and suggestions. LO is getting a little easier, thankfully. But I'm also making the most of those cuddles too

Badger so brilliant to hear from you and thanks for looking me out. 8 months wow, can you believe where we were 1.5-2 years ago. Feels like another lifetime.... Or is that the sleep deprivation

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lljkk · 28/08/2013 18:50

Get someone else to hold her for an hour & go out for a walk. Will do you world of good!

ChimneyDeep · 28/08/2013 18:53

Mine were like this - a Moby wrap and a sling from Victoria Sling Lady got us through - I learnt to feed in them too so rarely took them out

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