My nearly 4 month old will not sleep in cot during the day

[Jenga888]

Hi all, I'm new to this but basically has anyone got any tips for a 15 week old to get her to nap in her cot during the day, she goes down at 6pm every night without fail, awake in her cot but during the day will only nap if I cuddle her, she has one nap in morning for 1 hr and 2 hr nap at lunchtime and 1hr in afternoon, I'm frustrated cause that's 4 hrs a day I'm holding her, I've attempted controlled crying admittedly half hearted and she cried it out for 90 mins with me checking on her . Please help if anyone has got tips to put her down in day thanks x

Is there a reason why you need her to sleep in the cot? My dd is exactly the same age and also refuses to sleep in her cot during the day.

She will however sleep in her pram, in her bouncy chair, on her playgym, in the car, in the door bouncer (!), during any trip to Marks and Spencer etc, so those are the places we have daytime naps. Have you tried seeing if she'll do that? It has helped me to learn the really early sleep cues as well, and start withdrawing stimuli as soon as I see them (eg turn the music off in the babygym, take the dangly bit off the hanging chair etc).

She goes down in her cot really well at night so the napping in odd places doesn't seem to do any harm and I just figure she's decided the cot is for night time only. I'm quite happy to leave it at that if it means she'll go down well and have a good long sleep.

If the cuddles are necessary, have you tried using a sling? Would mean baby is close to you but you can get on with stuff!

Hi thanks for ur message, no reason other than I can't get anything done in the day, she will ony sleep in my arms sometimes in the pram but only when it's moving when I stop pushing she wakes up and then gets cranky cause she's not had enough sleep, she won't settle in chair or playmat, and I keep thinking maybes she too young to learn controlled crying in the day because as I said she settles at night no problem at all and normally awake, I'm just worried she has got used to be rocked to sleep during the day, maybe I'm just worrying too much, I agent tried the sling yet that's a good idea I will try that today thanks x

Dd1 did exactly this. She slept very well on her cot at night but wouldn't go in it in the day.

She would sleep in her pushchair but only when moving. I gradually trained her to sleep in it stationary by going for progressively shorter walks and parking her asleep in the hall. Eventually she would sleep fine in the pushchair without it even moving.

Otherwise it sounds like a sling might also be an option.

Too young for controlled crying. Two tips - make sure not overtired - max 2 hours awake at that age in my experience. Second try white noise - something like an out of tune radio - really helps them wind down and fall asleep.

Pull the curtains, put her in her sleeping bag - or whatever she sleeps in at night, and sort of set the scene for sleep.

I'd second the overtired comment. Looking back this is exactly what was wrong with my first dd. There's some good little tips online about how to spot an overtired baby (not meeting your gaze, rocking, arching and I forget the others) and we found with number two if we spotted those very early on she went down like a dream but if we missed them she wouldn't go down at all.

Oh and I'd read some rubbish about training them to understand daytime and nighttime naps eg daytime don't close the curtains etc but that's nonsense. Anything that resembles night time sleep for her should help. My dc3 will no longer take a bottle... Unless it's in his darkened bedroom on the rocking chair, no matter what time of day. They love routine.

I didn't recognise overtiredness in DS1 - we had huge problems with day time naps with him until I twigged. With DS2 and 3 I knew the signs and only ever had problems when we had to keep them up beyond their limits.

For mine, if they got the the yawning stage it was too late. I think I remember ear pulling as a sign of tiredness - but I could be making that up :).

No ear pulling and frantic scratching at the side of her head are my little girls sleep cues.

Yes, overtired. Had exactly the same w Ds1 who would only sleep in a moving pushchair in the day until he was 8mo. I ended up looking at it as a positive daily addition of exercise to my routine when we went pounding the streets in all weathers. Meant I c

Oops. Meant I couldn't get much done in the day but was a demon after 6pm, and at least I wasn't in it making a ness for that hour or so.

Eventually the novelty wore off and I put him down awake in his cot and he went off. Fingers crossed I don't repeat this with DS2.

Actually just thinking about what I learned around then, it was about infant sleep cycles etc which start to coalesce at about 4mo. I'd recommended reading Elizabeth Pantley's no cry nap solution which explains the science and gives son practical tips.

At about 4 months I was in your position and decided I couldn't cope anymore and was exhausted - you need time for yourself in the day ! I picked a week and just stuck at it with naps in the cot - did pick up put down - ie I cuddled/ rocked ds to sleep then put him in the cot - when he woke and cried I picked him up again cuddled rocked and put back in the cot - just carried on until he conked out in the cot

If you are consistent and just keep putting them in the cot they will learn - it worked - bit hit and miss for a while but over weeks we got there and he got more and more relaxed in the cot ...

I found that giving him something to hold in the cot like a crinkly book for babies or a rattle really helped - he would play with it until w fell asleep

It's boring to stick at it but so so worth it ... All very well saying cuddle them while they sleep but it can e very tiring not getting a break .. Ditto to endless walking with buggy or sling ..

I had a similar situation with my son and I took to walking. He was perfectly happy to sleep in his cot at night but screamed if I put him in it during the day. So I stopped trying and we went for lots of very long walks and he slept in his pram. It meant I didn't get anything done while he slept (though I did feel the benefit of all the exercise!) but at least he got some sleep. I used to put him in his cot to play or look at his mobile at various points during the day and then one day I tried again at putting him down for a nap in his cot and he just went to sleep and has done ever since.

DS didn't sleep in his cot during the day until about 12mo but slept in it at night i just found other places for him to sleep.

With the holding at first i used to wait til he was sleeping then lay him down next to me on the soft along my leg so he could still feel me then once he slept well like that i started lying him down them moving to the other end of the sofa eventually i'd set him down in his buggy and he'd sleep there. Once he could hold his own bottle i used to put him in his buggy with his bottle and give him a little push it got to the point he wouldn't sleep in my arms! It took a couple of weeks to go from arms to buggy.

I haven't read all the replies, but have you tried a nice snuggly facing in sling? My stretchy wrap sling was a life saver at that age. At 6mo she started napping in the buggy if pushed (cue a couple of months of hours of walking the streets - tedious, but great for shifting the baby weight ). By 8mo she would nap in a stationary buggy, and that's where she still naps at 14mo!

If your dd settles in the cot well at night, I really wouldn't worry where she sleeps during the day. I know it's annoying having to cuddle/wear/push her the sleep, but she's only little and that's just what you have to do to help them sleep if you don't have a natural napper!

DS did this to me too. He got to about 10 weeks and just refused to nap anywhere but on me. He is 11 and a half months now and has been napping happily in his cot since about 6 months. Just enjoy the cuddles!