Ds choosing not to eat. Do I give in and give him what he really wants or just keep offering...

[PanicPants]

healthy options and if he doesn't eat it then he goes hungry?

Ds not eating anything at the moment or drinking water even though he normally takes water from a cup really well. He is drinking all his bottles.

He seems hungey but is refusing to be fed with spoon at all, so at the moment I'm trying a combination of giving him a spoon and me having a spoon and a variety of finger food. He's not interested in anything, including old favourites of bananas, cheese, fruit, homecooked stews, jars etc The only thing he's eating with relish is bloody cheerios.

I have a sneaky suspicion he might be holding out for cheerios (although I only tried them for the first time a week ago, and funnily enough it was a week ago he stopped eating hmmmmmmmm, but then again the hot weather only kicked in a week ago.)

The same with water, refuses it from a cup now, but when tried with the syringe he's quite happy to lie there and have water syringed in!!!!

Shall I continue to offer a variety of food I know he likes or think he will like and when he refuses don't offer anything else. Or give him a handfull of cheerios so I know he has at least eaten something?

How old is he? I think you know he's mucking you about however old he is though!

how old is he?

Why are you syringing water in?
Oh,hang on,was it your LO overheating at the weekend?

He's only 9 and a half months. I can't decide if he is trying to get something he likes or if it's the heat or if he's try to be independant.

Cheerios are really easy for them to eat (dry, tidy), but a bit high-sugar. You could try offering a range of dry cereals, for variety etc?

Sugarfree - yes ds was the one overheating and I syringed water in saturday and was relieved he took it, on monday he still wouldn't take any water so I tried the syringe and he happily let me do it - hope he's not just being lazy! The bugger!

I think the heat plays havoc with their appetites for solid foods at this age!

I'd stick in an extra bottle feed for now until it cools down again - he could do with the extra liquids anyway in this heat.

I would not under any circumstances turn this into a battle of wills - it is so easy to start fighting over food and so difficult to stop that once you have started!

god ..sorry no advice but aren't kids frustrating....don't you wish we could read their minds!!

Really don't want a battle of wills but don't know how to prevent it.

Do I give him the cheerios or offer a variety of healthy food (finger food and my own cooking) and if he dosn't eat them, then call an end to dinner times?

I agree with soapbox ...add an extra bottle, and keep offering your normal healthy meals. As long as he's not dehydrating, it won't hurt him, and when his appetite return as it cools he won't be expecting cheerios.

I think: stick it out with the healthy foods, but don't make it a grim, adversarial experience, try to remain cheery and unconcerned about whether he eats it or not.... (I find digging one's fingernails into one's palms works great)

As long as he's getting enough fluid, don't worry too much. As long as you're offering him a reasonable variety of foods he will eat when he's hungry, especially if you don't build it up into a big battle. Children hate losing face and sacrificing their dignity every bit as much as adults do

Thats what I'm inclined to think - just wanted confirmation that I wasn't going to starve my child!

Thanks everyne :o

You are not starving him! He is self moderating! You are probably offering balanced meals and snacks inbetween, if he was hungry he would eat something.

My DS (he is 4 now) hardly eats anything for a while but then will have a few days of eating non-stop all day. He has always been like that.

I, innocently enough, started trying to tempt him to eat and now he only eats certain foods in certain formats, prepared a certain way and is very fussy. Don't make my mistake!!!!

He had some readybrek and fruit this morning!!!! Not a lot, but a few mouthfulls so thats progress, and I've hidden the cheerios!

What a nightmare westcountrylass, I can see ds going that way and want to nip it in the bud!

Panicpants, I'm am not sure how you nip something in the bud without a real power struggle . If your ds is going to be the way of my dd (and WestCountrylass'), then he will go that way. And prob won't give up without struggle throughout toddlerhood and beyond.

At 9 months, your ds just needs to get formula. I think solids is optional/exploratory at this point. So best not to turn him off food by making an issue of it. Frankly, if at that age, my dd would take cheerios, I would be chucking it at her in packetloads. Good work with the readybrek and fruit.

Oh blueshoes, don't say that!

Apparently I was a fussy eater when I was little, so my mother delights in telling me when she sees ds shaking his head at the spoon :(

Whatever you do stay calm and relaxed. Watch the house of tiny tearaways for what happens to kids when their parents get overly anxious about food.
Keep offering healthy food, if he doesn't want it then say never mind you're not hungry and take it away.
Don't try and force or cajole. Don't make food an emotional issue. Let him see you enjoying food. Eat when he eats then he can see it's a social thing not a battle.
And good luck!

did this only happen after he was poorly? perhaps he has a sore throat?

I was watching it last night with the little boy who was phobic about runny foods - poor thing.

Thats why I want to tackle (iyswim) now.

ah Panicpants, so did your mother lay down the law on food, or did she take a more relaxed attitude?

hmmmmm don't know, it'l be worth finding out I suspect :)

HOw many meals a day is your ds having? With my ds (who is now 20 months so a bit older), HV suggested giving 1 or 2 meals a day that they would actually eat and then the others give them what you would like them to eat. Then you know they have something inside them and it makes you less worried if they don't eat the other meals. And the best piece of advice I got was really really don't stress around meal times. Try to be as disinterested as possible (iyswim). It can be difficult (this from a parent who's child could easily rival those on HTT). Limit mealtimes to about 20-30 minutes to avoid a battle. As long as your ds is getting his milk and you are getting him to have some water nothing terrible is going to happen to him as a result of the eating thing.

HTH

Just wanted to say both me and OH were very fussy eaters as kids so I think we have to blame our genes at least partially for ds and his eating!

Panicpants both my children went/are going through this stage. Some days if dd refuses the spoon I have to get out a selection of finger foods (ham sandwiches, cheese sticks, fingers of peach etc) and she'll also nick some of whatever I'm eating if I happen to be eating at the time too - strangely enough she is exactly the same age as your ds. Sometimes I just have to get a jar of food out and she'll eat that (no idea why) rather than what I've made. She will normally eat a yoghurt or fruit puree even if she's refused main course with no problem - strange that With ds giving him his own spoon to hold helped but that doesn't work at all with dd (yet) I think this is partly a desire for independence and partly their appetite beginning to tail off as it is supposed to (well they say after 1 but I have found with my two that it starts at this sort of age). Hope it gets better!

he did eat a few spoons of beef stew at dinner time so maybe it was the heat?

Anyway you areall right to say not to get stressed and to limit dinnertimes to 20/30 mins. I'll try to keep to it!