Is it okay to just leave toddler to get on with it sometimes?

[ExtremeCouponQueen]

Dc1 is 21 months and my pfb. I am currently 39 weeks pg with dc2 and exhausted. Dh is away today and looking after toddler alone.

I a, normally very hands making sure we play, read, talk, sing together etc. but I'm just do tired. She's currently "wiping" the floor with wet wipes and entertaining herself, while I'm sat on the sofa with the iPad resting.

I feel guilty like I should be doing something with her....is this bad? I'm talking to her but can't summon the energy to do anything proactive/stimulating.

I'm taking her swimming this after so at least we're doing something t least I guess.

I did take her swimming...am now shattered and feel stiff all over, ESP pelvic area!

Seriously leave her play! DD cmes up with some interesting and amusing ways to entertain herself

Well, get as much rest as you can and don't plan anything for tomorrow. . .

just veg out on the sofa and try to relax. I couldn't imagine taking DS swimming on my own at 39weeks (only 16weeks with DC2 - seems a bit too much for me to contemplate doing now!)

I've had very low iron and DS has had to learn that mummy isn't as energetic as she was. But he's perfectly happy playing next to me, wandering about or just reading with me (when he's feeling snuggly).

DS plays alone all the time as long as he's happy playing alone then i don't see the issue, I think it's good for them DN was constantly played with and kept entertained and didn't seem to develop the ability to entertain herself at all she's 6 now and still wants constant attention will only play alone for 10-15 mins a a time.

Also she will need to play alone when the new baby comes so now is prob a good time to learn so it doesn't seem like the babies the reason she's having to play alone

I agree entirely with Sparklyboots :)

Benign neglect-one of the best things you can give children!

OP please don't worry that you'll have less quality time together when the new baby arrives. The last 2 months of my last pregnancy were a real struggle (DS was 18 months when DD was finally born) and quality time definitely dipped towards the end. When DD finally arrived she just slept and ate and I had so much energy compared to bring pregnant. DS and I played when DD slept, we played whilst DD happily watched whilst she was awake and we read books when she fed. It was so much easier than I'd imagined and he had loads of quality time. Now they are 3 and 4 they have a built in playmate too and entertain each other for ages. I sometimes get asked not to join in their games!

This thread has made me feel better, thank you op!

Oh and congrats and good luck for the safe arrival of dc2 :-)

Oh it's more than ok - it's positively good for them.

Try thinking of it more as giving her space to creatively explore her environment in a child-led way

BTW, I never got round to doing this myself but one bit of advice I read for when you have a second (or more) baby is to provide a 'feeding box'. This is a special box of toys, books etc that are only for when you are feeding baby. Makes it a bit more interesting for the older sibling.

That's a good idea fuzzpig I found it relatively easy to give my toddler mummy time while feeding the baby - he used to snuggle in for a story or we'd do a jigsaw on a little table next to the sofa etc

One 'game' that i used to play with DS1 when i couldnt be bothered doing anything was to sit on the sofa and ask DS1 to bring me a book to read to him and when we finished it get him to take it back and bring another one and so on...kept him busy for ages and all i had to do was summon the energy to read!

It's important to do so! It encourages them to use their imagination and try out new things in a safe environment.

People have commented on DD being unusually focused on activities and how good she is at entertaining herself, and it's because she's been encouraged to do so from an early age. When she wants my attention she gets it, but I don't hover.