sick child at nursery and DC2 due soon. what would you do?

[stepmooster]

I would like some opinions on this. I have DD 13months who has been at nursery for 2 months and is now always ill. I now know this is unavoidable was a bit naive.

I am due to give birth to DC2 in 3 weeks. I was hoping to keep DD in nursery for 3 days a week cos I have no family support and also so she is not bored and miserable at home with newborn and tired mum.

When she is well she loves nursery and is so much for her to do, she progressed so much since she started. There is more toys and outside space than our pokey home could ever provide.

Both DH and I have city jobs and work for same employer who quite honestly is quite vocal abt us taking time off for looking after kids.

I am wondering if it might not be better to just pull DD out of nursery full stop asap when I go on mat leave next week (I know I will still have some fees to pay), and just cope at home and get her well. Chances are I'm going to have her most of the time ill anyway which is very hard work.

Long term I guess I'm going to have to rethink this whole city job / mum thing. My employer is not flexible in the slightest.

It worries me though as we need 2 incomes to afford to move out of this 2 bed. I would love to be a SAHM that's not the issue.

Does anyone have any advice or experiences to share with me?

I am glad that i kept my toddler in nursery as it would have made things so much harder if he had been at home bored with a newborn.

when he comes home he gets the same parental attention he always did (we take it turn about) so that he doesn't feel pushed out.

if you take dd out of nursery just now, you run the risk of going back to square one in terms of building up her immunity when she returns with the added hassle of two being in that position.

if you can afford it, i would recommend keeping her in as it will help to keep her routine and allow you time with the newborn making it less stressful all round.

Thanks Shenanagins, the problem is DD has been to nursery exactly 7 whole days during July. When she is sick its ear infections and she just wants cuddles. I feel like I would be doing her no favours by sending her to nursery for her to get sick and then sit at home with me trying to breastfeed DC2 every 3 hours.

I feel cruel to send her off knowing she will be ill and then to have hardly any time to look after her. :(

i was the opposite and I was glad that I didn't have to go anywhere when I had my second dd. She was more than happy pottering about at home with us, 'helping' me with nappies and feeds and giving the new baby a bath.

we walked up to the library or park or to have the baby weighed if we felt like it but I really loved the freedom of it all. If she went to bed late, then it didn't matter. I had no help either so we didn't even have to get dressed, nobody would know but it was kind of nice. The three of us against the world!

It's a tricky one.

How about getting a mothers help type person instead? Someone to come in for a few hours a day perhaps, to give you a hand or even a break! Then you wouldn't have the sickness issue, your DD could be at home with you, and you'd still have help and support.

What a lovely post, Savoy. I know it's not always the way but it's nice to hear it was (overall!) a positive time for you all.

OP, the illnesses will stop once her immunity is improved. If she is happy leave her in nursery, otherwise take her out and her her involved with the new arrival.

After two months, you're probably over the worst of the immunity-building bugs. If that's your only concern, hang on in there.

My DS has been in nursery two mornings a week while I've been on maternity leave with DD, and it has been lovely to have some proper one on one time with her.

I agree, leave her in nursery. If you take her out and then put her back in when you go back to work, you will have to start the immunity-building all over again x 2 with the added stress of work on top.

Different experience to savoy as i kept DS1 in nursery 4 days a week whilst on mat leave and i liked the fact that it made me get up and about each morning, it was a lovely walk twice a day, and gave me some precious 1-2-1 time with DS2.

Thank you ladies, some good ideas for DH and I to ponder. I hate seeing DD poorly.

She is likely to start getting sick less often -- I think it was the first three months that were worst when DS started nursery, and then he seemed to have got most of it out of his system.