Teenage Parent Stories

[Rachael200694]

Hello
As a teenage parent to be, I was wondering if anyone had any stories to share? Maybe about the positives and the negatives. Things you found a struggle and the benefits of being a young parent would be great!

I am going to be a mum at 19 and I'm currently living at home until my partner passes his driving test then we can look for a our own place.
We are fortunate really as we are a mature couple, with supportive families and we both know a family is what we want.
My partner is looking to train as a butcher, and I am applying to start university in 2014 to work towards becoming a teacher.
Money is definitely our biggest (if not only) issue, but other than that things sound like they could work out nicely.
If you were a teenage parent, or a parent in a similar situation it'd be lovely to hear your story

I had my daughter last year (I was 20) when I was pregnant our biggest issue was money but within a year we have got a beautiful house, a decent car, we pay all our bills and our daughter doesn't want for nothing :) my partner got a fantastic job opportunity after she was born and I was lucky enough to be able to start up a business from home, I spend every day with my daughter but I'm a working momma too :) You will be fine especially if you have supportive families, that is what helped us a lot in the beginning. Some other positives are; I have lots of energy being so young and I know we've got lots of time to have more children. Just to add we are also a mature couple like yourselves, we don't drink, don't go out, and don't waste money. If you need any advice or a chat just message me good luck!!!!

Thanks for getting back to me amyjayde
It's lovely to hear how well things have gone for you! Some people make the assumption that if you're a young parent you're living off benefits and you're unable to raise your kids properly.
Lovely to hear things worked out well!
Yeah we're not the type to go out and blow a load of money getting drunk either. Some old friends of mine live to go out and get off their faces, and I can't help but think how lucky I am that I'm about to be a mum and that I've got a nice partner and a life to be proud of really

I had my daughter when I was 16. She's now 17 :o

She's absolutely amazing, always has been and being young is no barrier at all to excellent parenting. I'm sure you'll do fine, ignore any judgey nonsense and enjoy what you have.

Oh wow! That's brill do you feel like you're able to understand your daughter more because of the smaller age gap? I was just wondering because some people I know who's parents are quite old parents seem to clash with their kids and set strict rules

Just had a thought: gonna look like my sons big sister when I take him to school haha! I have such a baby face, but it'll keep me looking young and hopefully a yummy mummy haha!

I am in my twenties with one dd and as i look young i get what you mean about the assumptions people make.

I have personally known quite a few young and teenage mothers and they have made excellent parents.

Congratulations on your first!

I was studying when i became pregnant but will be returning to work and uni this september. Dh works hard and we get by. Sometimes it can feel very hard to balance everything, but there are very few parents regardless of age who don't feel that way.

Wishing you lots of luck!

I completely agree, I know a few teenage parents who are brilliant at it. And I know of a few mums in their late 20's who couldn't care less about their kids! So it's definitely down to the individual

Since I found out I was pregnant I've felt absolutely blessed. My dad says he's never seen me as happy and as jolly in years. Both my parents were gutted when I told them but now they're over the moon.
My dad described it as I've kind of woken up, before I was very negative and kind of drifting along. But now I'm happy and smiley and eager to make something of my life

I had ds1 at 19 with no support and a crap relationship. I was a single parent at university by the time ds1 was 1yo. He's now 17 and thriving. He's working hard in his job and at college.

We have the occasional teenage row but they are few and far between now and and he's generally great company.

Being young when I had him was only a problem for other people IMO. I never felt overwhelmed by him or unsure of what to do. In fact I felt more worries bringing up dd and ds2 in a committed marriage.

Age should not be a barrier and you are already steps ahead of me with the support you have. I'm sure you'll do fine. :)

Sort of, OP, in some ways we are closer because of the age thing but I've made a point of always being her mother rather than her friend if that makes sense

Yeah that makes sense completely you don't wanna be friends with your kids, but some parents seem to be more like managers haha!

Excellent to hear from other young parents thank you very much!! It's nice to hear from people who have come out the other side if you get me, people who have been there and done it.

Much appreciated ladies

hi Rachel

I had my ds1 when I was just turned 19. I was working full time, as was exp but we were nowhere near ready to be parents and hadn't planned to be at that point. both still living with parents and very much enjoying the teen, drinking, partying, freedom thing we had at the time.

the pregnancy was quite hard for exp to come to terms with and I think he panicked and 'rebelled' against it by going out more often, drinking more and he actually started taking drugs, he pulled away from me and refused to talk about any of it, what plans we should be making etc. we separated 6 weeks before ds was born which I think was the best decision for myself and the baby at the time. exp just wasn't ready.

ds was born whilst and I stayed with my parents for 4 months then I found my own place and went back to work part-time doing 5 half days a week when ds was 5 months old. I found this a good balance for me as I didn't feel I was rushing in the evening to collect him from nursery before they shut and could enjoy the afternoon and evenings with him.

looking back, I realise I didn't actually attend any mother and toddler groups or anything like that but at the time I don't think I even knew they existed as I was working everyday and my friends were still my friends from college and work and none had small babies. I don't think ds missed out as he was at a day nursery with lots of children his age group.

I really was very lucky in that ds was a very easy baby to look after- I can only remember one night of walking the floors with him aged around 6/7 months old when he was teething and I wondered whether I had made a mistake in moving out of my parents house but it was only once and then he was back to normal- sleeping through and I didn't have that awful consistent lack of sleep that I know many new parents do. I know how lucky I was (as I have ds2 now and he was not easy) and tbh for me, the baby and toddler days with ds were some of the happiest days of my life. I really enjoyed them.

good luck with your pregnancy- you sound like you have lots of support.

I didn't struggle with money either. I did get a small amount of housing benefit and I received tax credits but I was very comfortable and we ate well, enjoyed days out had mini holidays, decent clothes, meals out etc. I didn't at all feel as if life was a struggle.

Another lovely story!

Such a shame you got off to a bad start and its a shame your ex wasn't there to support you, but he obviously was finding it very hard himself. However, it's brilliant to see how well you have done despite possibly being in a worse off position than I am myself.
I think that we are very fortunate to recieve financial support too from the government to help single parents who work but just need that little extra help.
Sounds like you have done very well by your children

yes we are very lucky in the uk that there is help there for those who need it (for the time being anyway!)

I think you'll do brilliantly- you seem to have good support and you sound far more mature than I was at 19 (possibly more mature than I am now at 27! )

I think one thing that I noticed was other people's reactions to me as a younger mother and if I were to do it all again I would not take any of it onboard. I would just have confidence in my own decisions and parenting choices and not be aware of any of the preconceptions people had about me. looking back, I think I did a bloody good job with ds but at the time I remember doubting myself, feeling constantly under watch by everyone around me as if they expected me to fail or live up to the 'stereotype' of teen single mum. they may not have been at all but I assumed they were which I just should not have bothered myself about. it served no purpose. when I had ds2 aged 22 I felt soooo much older, as If I was 10 years older and didn't feel that same feeling at all- I felt far more confident in myself which helped a lot.

I say enjoy your pregnancy and planning your future with your partner. it really is a lovely time.

I feel about 40 in my head haha i love spending time with my family over going out getting wasted and embarrassing myself! My parents have become the children and since being pregnant I have become the mum telling them off for not being careful climbing into the loft etc. it's quite funny really

I actually find it quite difficult to get on with people my own age, and tend to make better relationships with older people! I sometimes worry I'm boring but I think I just enjoy doing things that are beneficial eg. Cooking from fresh, spending time with my family, learning about things, going on days out.

I will bare that in mind about trying not to listen to other people who make assumptions about you because of your age. I partly understand why they do it because of the stereotype about young mums, but they need to realise we aren't all the same!

"but they need to realise we aren't all the same!"

it doesn't matter if they never realise it- aslong you do. don't waste time or headspace hoping someone else would change their perception of you- the only perception that matters is yours.

I spent a lot of time thinking "oh i'll prove them wrong". in reality, people probably only gave me a fleeting thought and didn't ever know or care how I've done in my life. people who gave me funny looks in the street? well I could waste a lot of time getting angry and vowing to prove them wrong, but they'll never know. do things because you want to do them and you believe them to be the right choice for you- own your choices as entirely your own for the right reasons and not to prove some hypothetical stranger wrong.