Newborn won't settle at night

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Just that really. My baby is just over a week old and will only settle at night on either DH or myself. As long as we keep holding him he is a lovely happy little boy, but when we try to put him down he screams until he is sick and takes hours to settle down again.

I set up a safe co sleeping bed in his room (hard mattress, thin sheet, one thin pillow, against the wall etc) and he hates that as well. He really seems to dislike lying on his back and just wants to sleep propped up a little on our laps.

I know he is only little, and I don't expect him to sleep through the night or anything, but a few hours between feeds would be nice! What can I do to help him feel safe and happy in his cot?

If it is relevent he was a c-section and is being breastfed. We are not using bottles or dummies at the moment. Breastfeeding is also a bit slow to get established, it takes a long time each feed and can make him cross and frustrated. But that is getting better every day and he is now thriving and gaining weight.

Congratulations on your gorgeous little bundle. Op, let your baby settle where he is happiest. If its on you so be it. It will help your milk supply. It will help you learn his feeding cues and respond quicker. Get a sling and you or your partner can wear the baby as long as he wants. His tummy is very tiny and the more often you feed him the better also will help your supply get established which takes about 6 weeks. X

Forgot to say, have you checked his latch? Is he on properly to get enough milk ? Are you getting support with this from mid wife or health visitor. May be worth looking up some breast feeding help site le leche league for tips. Have you had tongue tie checked too?

How long are feeds taking? You may get more help on breast and bottle feeding threads on mn if you post there too x

In the first few weeks it can also be easiest to sleep in shifts, if your DH is still on leave. Due to DS's reflux, our doctor eventually recommended that we actually sleep propped up against the wall or in a secure chair with the soft moby sling on - it's not ideal but much safer than parents with no sleep at all (and safer than without the sling as the baby can otherwise roll off and get trapped).

How quickly do you put him down? Once asleep transfer to cradle hold with a muslin under his head. Warm cot with hot water bottle (not too hot, just warm). Wait for 10 whole minutes (exactly, not roughly) of absolute asleepness. Gently place in cot retaining nice warm muslin under his head.

Also tuck a little soft snuggly between you and him while feeding and transfer this with him too. He will learn to use this as a comforter over next weeks.

Both my babies hated being put down and this got me a couple of hours sometimes!

Is it possible the cot is too big for him? My DS hated even his Moses basket when he was born, he slept in the carrycot of his pushchair (with appropriate mattress) for the first three weeks.

Oh, and for first four days DS would only sleep on a person (partly due to feeding issues). We got a swing from Amazon expedited delivery. Absolute godsend.

My daughter (now 8) was like this and I just gave in and co-slept with her right close to me in our bed. Some people say swaddling is the key. I know this isn't recommended but I think if you are careful about temperature it can work. I am expecting DC2 this week and plan to swaddle. One thing to remember is that nothing is forever and although you may feel at this point that this will never end, it will in fcat.

We found swaddling and Co sleeping helped. I would bank pillows and cushions so I couldn't roll or move in my sleep and had dd sleeping with her head propped above my armpit.
I learnt dozing is better than no sleep at all.

My 8-week-old DS was like this just a few weeks ago, but I just persevered with the moses basket and cot - now she loves it and cries to be put down when she's tired. It just takes a while for them to get used to it - as they've been so near you for so long. All of my friends have had the same thing with newborns - they don't like being put down at first.

Swaddling is brilliant, as is just gentle patting and loving and sweet words once they're down till they fall asleep. I also use a dummy - and a soft muslin to put their head on.

I couldn't have her sleeping on me all day and all night - I've got a very active toddler to look after, and I'm also a really hot person - if she was in a sling on me all the time she'd swelter!

Oh, and I've also slept both my babies on their sides, with rolled up towels on either side of them (the one at their front well down from their face) to keep them cosy and stop them rolling onto their front.

Oh and sorry (another brilliant tip I was given by a maternity nurse) I always put her down slightly awake (did it with my DS too who slept through the night from 8 weeks).

So I watch for yawns, then cuddle them till they're almost asleep - but put them down while their eyes are still slightly open. I then rub their backs until they fall asleep (now I don't need to do this). This way if they wake up, usually 45 mins later which is after their first sleep cycle, they learn how to put themselves back to sleep and don't feel anxious and need you to rock them again.