Help! How to get my 9 month old ready for CM?

[moodilicious]

Hi All,
I very rarely post, but dont really know who to ask for advice. My DS is nearly 9 months atm and is due to start with a CM (3 days a wk) at the beginning of September. Im settling him in for 7 days before hand (2 days just visiting and 5 focussed settling). Im really worried because he is still BF to sleep for naps and has never been put down for naps by anyone else (DP at work during the wk and my family are far away) he often has an afternoon nap in the buggy. He will take a tt cup with water, but Ive never tried with milk. Ive been trying to express, but I dont think Im going to be able to build up a big enough supply in time.

I suppose my questions are:
Should I start giving him milk in a cup for naps, to get him used to it?
Do I need to be sending formula with him to CM?
What else can I do in the short time I have left to get him ready?

I think Ive been putting off thinking about it, cos I dont want to leave him at all! But now I feel like Ive messed up by not having a proper plan.

You'll find that babies are very adaptable and your little one will adapt to the routine your childminder has.

My son went to a childminder when he was a year old but he was still bfeeding day and night (for naps and comfort as well as milk).

He just went without milk during the time I was away and when I picked him up, he'd have a catch up feed.

As your little boy is 9 months and will still need milk, I'd maybe start giving him a tt cup of milk (not for naps though, just to make sure he'll take it).

My little boy would only nap after nursing or being pushed in pram and CM was happy for him to nap in his buggy and he napped when he was tired (more easier for her than for me!).

If you don't think you'll have enough expressed milk, then yes, I would get him on a formula feed now (out of cup) and send formula to the childminder (I think he's a bit young to go without milk for a full day, but they do say older babies will just adapt and make up for the milk when he sees you, but you might not want to spend your nights being a milking machine :-)

I don't think you have to do anything else to get him ready - I did nothing for mine, other than the taster sessions beforehand (I'd leave him with childminder for 60-90 minutes twice a week, a few weeks before).

He will be fine and will get used to things at his CM, and your CM will help him settle in. I don't think you've messed up at all, and I think you have plenty of time to get your boy used to formula in a cup, which is probably the only thing you want to sort out before he attends CM.

I know how you feel about leaving him, but he will be fine (honest!)

Hi Moody
My tips - decide how many feeds you want to do a day now. Are you going to express at work, if not then probably only am and pm. Wean him off the post lunch/midday nap time feed now, I would say to a bottle unless you already give him stuff in a cup?
If he won't take a bottle from you and lots won't, just persist in offering, gently, don't force it. But don't give in and BF him.
OR
Wean him when you are back at work and not there for him to wonder why he's getting a bottle and not a nice warm boob.
There'll be so much stimulation at the CM, he'll probably crash for most of his naps anyway

Haven't got time for a full post but you could call one of the bfing lines. Behave you got the numbers?

A BFC will help you to come up with a return to work plan that should suit Lo and reduce your risk of mastitis

Right I'm back. The numbers of the bfing helplines are here.

Are you planning on continuing bfing? If so, you could feed first thing, after pick up and before bed. I worked part time too and both of mine were a similar age when I returned. I used to feed on demand on the days I was home and they had cows milk from a cup when they were in childcare. If you want to replace the daytime feeds for every day, then yes, I'd start replacing one now with milk in a cup.

Personally I wouldn't bother trying to introduce a bottle. Bottles aren't recommended after 12 months so it seems pointless getting him used to one, only to take it away again a few weeks after. A sippy cup should be fine

Hi, Sorry, we've been out this afternoon, so only just seen your replies. Thanks so much everyone for the advice.
Eletheomel thank you for the reassurance, Im sure he will be fine, I think Ill be the one in tears actually! He's very outgoing, its just that he's never been left so its so hard to imagine! Good to hear your experience.

Oscar I should be able to express at work. He does already drink water from a cup really well, so will have a go with milk.

JiltedJohn'sJulie Thank you for the numbers. Yes Im planning to continue BF, at least for a while, I thought it might help the transition.

Thanks so much all, I was in tears this afternoon, but feel so much better reading this.

Hi. Going to be in the same boat as you ds will be 11 months in September when he goes to nursery. I feed him to sleep at night and once in the day. He sleeps in the pram or on me. Tried CIO oh that sucked he hated it and so did I. I am hoping he will nap with them. Pm me if you like we can support each other.

Glad you're feeling better moody, just wanted to add that while I used to have to push him for ages in the pram sometimes to get him to nap, after a few weeks at the childminder, she'd just push him a few times in his buggy in the kitchen then he'd nap, sometimes she'd just put him in the buggy and he'd fall asleep (he never did this for me, even when he was doing it for her).

When he started speaking, he would also tell her he was tired and wanted his buggy and would just fall asleep in it - again he never did this for me (clearly knew I was a sucker1)

Just telling you and little donkey this to reassure you that while your babies might be demanding of you, they can be remarkably agreeable to other caregivers (peed me off no end!)

DD went to CM at 6 months old, I went into overdrive with my million concerns about her and how she would settle/eat/sleep and it was all five! CM got her into a routine that worked for them on the days she is there and after the initial and I won't lie horrible first leave she was absolutely fine & super duper good for cm in ways I didn't think possible. 2 hours into my first day at work and all was normal and everyone happy again! It WILL be fine

I'm a childminder who has had a bf'd baby about the same age start with me. It was fine.

He settled really easily into his new routine, rocked to sleep quite happily and pretty quickly and if he got fractious I was happy to pop him in a carrier and take the children for a nice walk.

His mum carried on feeding him until he was 18 months old so it didn't cause any problems there either.

He had bmilk from a cup with his meals, liked it warmed slightly but we found how he preferred things like that during his settles.

Just wanted to reassure you from the other side. And a good childminder understands, honestly. We are looking after your most precious thing in the world, it's hard for you and it's ok to have a little cry :)

Thanks all. This is so helpful.

Littleredmonkey Its hard isnt it? That would be great, I dont know how to PM though!

Eletheomel Ill keep my fingers crossed he does this, although Im sure it will pee me off no end too if he does.

Superbaby'smummy Thanks. I just keep trying to think that by christmas it will all be ok. So glad to hear your LO settled well, it gives me hope

Glen Thanks so much for that. I read your post out to DP and he said it made him feel much better too.

It should be fine long before Christmas. I always think the worst bit is thinking about returning to work. If your cN is good there should be very few problems and you will be so busy at work.

My DC had never been put to sleep by anyone else and had always been fed to sleep but like the others they were both quite happy to have a sippy cup of milk, some solids and to go asleep in the pushchair.

Everything will be fine

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend!
Just another quick question. If I'm going to start introducing milk in a cup. Should I just try at lunch time or something when he doesn't always have a feed, but won't be too tired or grumpy, rather than replacing a naptime feed and risking meltdown?! Or just crack on and replace a feed?

Re: best time to replace a feed. I think the key objective here is just to get him used to drinking from the cup so i'd be tempted to give him when he's happy.

Chances are he may always want the boob from you (his past experiences) but once he knows that milk can come in a cup and he can drink it, I'd imagine he'll be happy enough to take milk from the childminder as a replacement feed, as he woudlnt be expecting any other milk from her.

So, I don't think it matters if he gets his milk in a cup just now as a replacement feed, as long as he gets used to it, even if it just takes a few sips each time you offer him it, I'd think that would be fine. And if he's in a good mood when he gets it and doesn't get stressed, it means he won't associate it as a bad thing.

Just my tuppence though, i'm no expert so you might get better advice from someone else :-)

That makes sense Eletheomel, and was what I was thinking too. Ill try that and see how we get on. Thanks.

littleredmonkey Just worked out how to pm. Will msg you later.