Unsure of having another baby

[Emski76]

Hi all. Dh and I are planning on starting to try for 3rd dc in Jan. We have ds5 and ds2. They are both lovely boys, although challenging at times, and I believe a 3rd child would complete our family.
Just a few niggling doubts though that I hope you can help me with. When ds1 was a baby i think i had mild PND mostly brought on by my anxiety of doing everything right. With ds2 I had severe PND, anti d's and counselling was needed. I believe I carried alot of childhood issues plus felt incredible guilt over ds1. Am better now and enjoy being a mum most of the time. So I am concerned about PND again.
Another niggling concern is my 2 are pretty good sleepers apart from early waking. Ds2 woke us all at 5.30 this morning!! My dneice is 2 and has never slept through and needs to be cuddled to sleep and ends up in bed with my sis most nights. This would be a living nightmare for me. I cant help but worry that we could end up with a poor sleeper. I know you cant predict any of this but any help or suggestions or examples of your life would be appreciated.
Please be gentle with me. The thought of not having a 3rd baby really does break my heart

Is your dn a first baby? I don't mean this to sound as patronising as it will probably end up sounding, but lots of us pick up and cuddle first babies as soon as they cry, and don't give them a chance to self settle. I don't mean controlled crying when they are too small for that. But often picking them up rather than just giving them a stroke and trying to settle them, or bringing them into our bed because it is the easiest option in the short term, can then result in your having a baby that won't be put down. I know there will be mums who tried everything and this wasn't their first baby and fair enough, a minority of babies just won't settle or sleep, but my own experience has been ds1 = bad sleeper, dd2 = much better sleeper. It might just be that they are different, but I was definitely more careful not to just pick dd2 up all the time, and when she grizzled at night I'd let her, unless she started to properly cry. The grizzling stopped quickly, and she slept through from 6 weeks. Ds1 didn't sleep through until he was about 3yo!

I have to say I'm completely with you on this issue though - I'm also considering dc3! If you expect to get lots of sleep, you'll be stressed and anxious when you don't. If you expect sleepless nights and keeping yourself awake with coffee, you may be pleasantly surprised! Sorry that isn't more helpful.

Thanks for your reply. My dneice is my sis 2nd child albeit with 10 year age gap but dnephew didnt sleep thru until he was 2. Altho she complains about the tiredness when i suggest things to help with my dneice she doesnt do them so cant be too bothered.
I on the other hand need my sleep but can see what you mean by just accepting the lack of sleep for the first few months. My ds1 slept thru from 5 weeks so ds2 was a bit of a shock not sleeping thru til 4months. Id love another but will these niggling doubts ever go?!!!