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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

A question of teaching them a lesson?? Suggestions needed

72 replies

Beetroot · 13/06/2006 09:07

DS3 who is 9 lost his gameboy last year. So he learnt his lesson and didn't have one.

Last week he borrowed (with permission) his sisters gameboy. He was doing a concert and there would be loads of travel and hanging around. He lost this one too!!! New...brand new

So what do we do???

at 80 quid he cannot pay for it. If we took the money out of his account he wouldnot notice it as he never gets to use that money. We could suggest he pays 10 pounds towards it but that woud mean 10 weeks without pocket money..seems a vastly drawn out punishment....

dh is off to Malaysia next week and may well buy dd another gameboy. Of course we ban him all use of it.

Any other suggestions??

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KommandantColditz · 13/06/2006 10:31

I would stop his pocket money until it has paid for a new gameboy for his sister - not as a punishment, as such, but a consequence. You lost it, you pay for it, mate!

NikkiH · 13/06/2006 11:22

I hate my kids losing stuff and come down really hard on them so if it was my DS and he'd already lost one gameboy I'd probably - stop pocket money for 10 weeks and take the rest out of his bank account (on the grounds that we couldn't afford to go out and buy his brother - in our case - another one) and make him do something to make it up to his brother. The message needs to be drummed home some how that there are consequences if you don't look after belongings.

Original poster

Beetroot · 13/06/2006 16:42

tbh, I don't think the argument that you are a forgetful person washes. You can learn not to be imo

I have asked him to think about what he thinks should be his punishment..we will discuss it later when he is home.

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fairyjay · 13/06/2006 17:04

Beety
Ds - at the time 11 - borrowed his sister's gameboy and left it on the plane when returning from a school trip. We were quite soft with him about it, although we did buy dd the latest version as a replacement, so she was more than happy.
I do think you're right though - they have to learn. Ds is now 14, and is currently going to school without a jacket, because he left his on the school coach and hasn't 'got around' to hunting it down.
He's pretty tight-fisted, so I think we're going to start making him go to the bank and draw out money for replacement items - that will really hurt . Should have done this a few years ago!

Snozcumber · 13/06/2006 17:07

Doing something to make it up 2 his sister is a great idea. For the money side of it if £80 is roughly your shopping bill, why not take him with you so he can see what £80 will buy. I.e. 1 small gameboy or trolley full of shopping!! The concept of what its worth will be physically in front of him that way.

FrannyandZooey · 13/06/2006 17:09

I have only skimmed the thread but also wondered if he might have been bullied :(

Hope not.

Blu · 13/06/2006 17:17

I was going to post exactly the same thing, F&Z

FrannyandZooey · 13/06/2006 17:20

Mumofmonsters mentioned it first - it does sort of set alarm bells ringing doesn't it?

roisin · 13/06/2006 17:21

Beety - tbh I would make him save up for a new one himself. I didn't really fancy gameboys at all, but ds1 was desperately keen, so eventually I relented and said he could save up. He saved up all his birthday money, plus pocket money for about 8 months until he had enough to buy one.

He's extremely forgetful, and a real flibbertygibbet, but he knows what his gameboy is worth and takes care of it.

What does your ds usually spend his pocket money on?

Original poster

Beetroot · 13/06/2006 17:21

no he was not bulied.

He went to the park and put his blazer down with gameboy in pocket. it fell out.

Other time we were going on holiday to see ggg and heleft it osmewhere on route

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Original poster

Beetroot · 13/06/2006 17:22

both ds's are together and I would have been told.

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FrannyandZooey · 13/06/2006 17:23

Glad to hear it beetroot :)

Gemmitygem · 14/06/2006 06:58

agree with others who said let him do something nice for his sister etc..

Did anyone read that noel streatfield book called "tennis shoes' where the little girl gives away all the family's umbrellas to a peddler, and her punishment is that each christmas and birthday instead of a present, the parents 'buy' one umbrella back? She has 3 siblings and 2 parents, so it takes like 3 years before she gets a present again! It always made me feel really sorry for her! Which is why I wouldn't go down the buying back with pocket money route..

threebob · 14/06/2006 07:06

Personally I would take 75 quid out of his account (why should you be out of pocket) even though he won't notice and take the other fiver out of his pocket money (which he will notice).

I am incredibly forgetful when I'm busy, but I tend to forget to take supper to a meeting rather than lose things.

Original poster

Beetroot · 14/06/2006 08:53

We had a chat with him about it.

This morning we found a beautiful letter written to his sister saying how sorry he is. He gave her some chocolate and is going to buy her a present as well.

He is on litter duty in the garden for two weeks as well.

Thanks for all the suggestions and opinions. they were really useful.

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Original poster

Beetroot · 14/06/2006 10:07

chocalote was in heart shaped box

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SoupDragon · 14/06/2006 10:09

You won't be whipping him and locking him in the understairs cupboard then?

Original poster

Beetroot · 14/06/2006 10:13

He is too sweet to do that to.

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SoupDragon · 14/06/2006 10:14

He sounds it... Chocolate in a heart shaped box :)

notanotter · 14/06/2006 10:18

buy her a lovely ds and make him watch her play!!! he he he

puff · 14/06/2006 10:20

Beety, he sounds a very sweet and lovely boy .

Tortington · 14/06/2006 10:36

i think sister and you should sit around the table and jointly think of things he could do - am sure sister would like him to tidy her room? or run her a bath or wash her plate after tea, or bring her washing down or go to the shop for her ( dont know how old they are)

see what i am getting at?

maybe one thng every day for a week, or maybe he could be sisters gofer for a week?

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