7w DS has aversion to DH

[grainmum]

Just that really - every time dh picks up dd he screams. I take him and he calms down. In the first couple of weeks DH could settle him better than me. He spends time with him every day after work. It's getting to us both now - any suggestions what we can do?

If he sleeps in a Moses basket, could you try putting a tshirt that DH has worn in there so he gets used to the smell? Its still very young though and I'm sure he'll change. My dd was very much like this and still is a Mummy's girl but we've been out today and she just wanted daddy all day.

Try not to take it personally, both of you and I'm sure it will be fine. In the meantime get him to help out with baths, nappy changes etc and get him to wear DS in a sling if he can for a bit. If they go out for a 20min walk in the evening it will give you a break and them a chance to get to know one another. Just make sure he's not hungry when you try to hand him over

7w is so very very little - I think you are reading too much into things and making a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your DS does not have an aversion to DH. Your DS is a little little baby who doesn't know about anything much - at 7w they don't really even have a concept of separate people - your DS doesn't understand that the large shapes that move and speak and sing around him are entities with perception and feelings. He is comforted by you because you smell of milk and that gives him a sense of security. When he was littler everything was new to him and nothing was familiar so he didn't have so much preference. Now he's got just enough memory to be able to tell the difference between more-familiar and less-familiar.

You and DH both need to take this less personally. You'll create further problems for yourselves in the future if you allow yourselves to interpret this behaviour as DS not liking DH.

JJJs advice above is good, and should help.

Great post Iris, so true. Think it took my Ds about 3 months to realise that me and him where actually 2 different people.

Oh yes ! Remember that little on has been in the womb for 9 months and this has been his reality. 7 weeks out in the big wide world is still a MASSIVE deal! He is homing on the only real point of contact - you! Perhaps DH could just go for short and sweet until DS picks up the pace?

I was going to say similar, that I am sure it is less about daddy and more about mummy being more familiar or smelling of milk. I did pretty much all of the babycare when dd2 was tiny as dh was doing major career exams at the time, so naturally she wanted me all the time. She still quickly got used to him and he became the next best person to settle her. Unless your dh is holding her upsidedown or wearing lots of overpowering aftershave I am sure it is nothing personal at this early age.

Great post, Iris.

thanks, that's all nice and reassuring. Maybe I could try pre-wearing a t-shirt for dh so he smells a bit of me.

He's grown so much it's difficult to remember he's tiny!