Is a number two a good idea? (Child, not bowel movement)

[patagonia09]

DS is now 18 months and I'm starting to image the possibility of a DC2. I know it will be hard work all over again, but I have the broody feeling, and I never imagined having just one child. DH loves our boy but he found the first year totally gruelling and still has limited patience with him as a toddler.
We've started the hypothetical conversations about number 2, and I wondered what everybody else thinks / thought. Did you have a second on the basis of a rational discussion? Or just because it's what everybody does? Do you wish you'd stuck to one? Do you only have one and think it's the right choice? I can certainly see advantages of just having one, but somehow it feels incomplete.

p.s. And assuming I convince myself it's the right thing, what did you say to your DH to get him to agree to round two?!

DC2 is a wonderful idea!

It's a magical moment when you see your 2 tiny ones giggling and colluding together.

And I do think there's something very sad about an only child. (no one to collude with!!)

Oh, and I never had to convince DH. It was a given that we never wanted an only child.

If you and your DH have different feelings about another child then I think that's a different question.

I have two - with a big age gap between them. DP coped much better with the second. They fight terribly and I do sometimes think: why was I so adamant I wanted a second! But on the other hand, despite the age gap, they can be great friends and adore each other a lot of the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with an only either - my eldest doesn't get nearly the time, attention or money spent on her that she did before her sibling came along.
I am thrilled I have two but I was also thrilled to have just one - I have no regrets about having two however! We did discuss it as DP is an only child and didn't want his dc to be only children.

Both me and my OH have had a seriously ill parent in the past few years, and for both of us, having a sibling to share that difficult experience was very emotionally important, and we hope for the same support for our son as we get old (I'm now pregnant with DS2).

Of course you can't predict the future and what your children will turn out - but that was one key reason why we were clear we wanted two.

However, OH and I only discussed it for about 5 minutes altogether. You can't predict how things will turn out, so we just made a decision really. I got pregnant really quickly (before we'd started trying...) so no chance to overthink things :)

I have one, through choice (not got round to telling her how 'very sad' her life is yet, she's totally failed to notice). I never imagined that second child, never got broody. I baulked at having just one for a while (okay, about six years) because 'everyone has two', but eventually came to the decision that the only reason to have a second child is because you want to. Not as a sibling for the first child, not to look after you in your old age, and certainly not because 'everyone does' (they don't) - because you want to.

I don't want to influence you, as I know friends who stopped at one child and were happy with that, but personally I have loved having two children. I might even consider a third although in my saner moments I think that might be madness. I don't know if others have found this, but to me, having one child was absolutely wonderful, but having two children now feels like "family". Ds1 loves dd2 and it never ceases to make me smile how they interact with and adore one another (she is now 9mo, he is 4.5yo). I'm sure they will also squabble and fight but I think their relationship with each other will help them learn to resolve conflicts and many useful lessons. I do understand that it's daunting to consider another baby when you've got used to having just one, and the sleep has got better and life is finally a bit easier. I have found a second so much easier than my first, despite my dh having major exams for the few months after dd2's birth and my literally doing every single bit of babycare and all the getting up at night for the first 6 months of her life. You'd expect having a second baby to be doubly hard as having one, but I would say it's more 1.5x as hard! Lovely and fun, just requires a lot more organisation and planning (just to leave the house!) All the best whatever you decide. x

Apologies DontCallMeBaby, I didn't mean to offend with my 'very sad' comment. Of course I'm basing that thought entirely on the one-child families I know.