Need some help with the baby whisperer routine

[mishmash5]

I have a 3.5 month old &I am reading the baby whisperer. I do not follow it religiously but use it as a guideline. The book routine is EASY. eat, activity, sleep, you. We have been feeding my little one to sleep before bed and all naps. When should I stop doing this & how? I'm a bit concerned that I may be storing up sleep problems in future.

Thanks in advance.

I did the baby whisperer and it was great for us. Activity maybe having a story and songs after feed before going down for a sleep. 7 years on its still our bedtime routine and has meant DD can get to sleep anywhere

Also a fan of the baby whisperer (JiltedJohnsons will be along soon to disagree).
I'm a little confused about when you're doing the feeds? Are you doing EAESY (i.e. with an extra E before the S)? Are you BFing?

My advice (and again Jilted will be along soon to tell me off) would be twofold. First, introduce a bottle instead of a BF before the nighttime sleep (ie. at about 6.45pm give baby a bottle and then into bed at 7pm). Second, drop the daytime pre-nap feeds and replace them with something else that is comforting into the naptime routine. For example, always sing a quiet song. Introduce a special blanky or toy if you haven't already. This then becomes their sleep association rather than having a bf.

HTH?

hi, thanks for your responses. We are not really doing EASY, more like EASY! Would during the day feeding then doing 10-20 mins low key activity like quiet singing or reading work?

just re-read my post. mean to say we are doing AESY!

Yeah just feed as soon as baby wakes up, whether they're asking for it or not. Just up, nappy change, boob in mouth. Then play afterward until tired signs appear (touching ears, rubbing eyes, starting to grizzle). Any of the signs - straight to bed with ye.

I think it could be difficult to go straight from aesy to easy. the baby is used to being fed as a trigger to go to sleep, you would probably need to wean them off that trigger gradually if you don't want crying.

as a transitional measure, how about eaeasy. so basically give the baby a big feed when they wake up, then playtime, then when they start to look tired give them a tiny little top up feed till almost asleep (try making a whistling or sucking sound to keep them awake during this feed). try to keep them awake but v sleepy for a couple of minutes (maybe read a very short story) and then into bed.

gradually you would cut out that top up feed and then you have EASY.

I'm gonna stick my head on the line here and post this link
www.troublesometots.com/eat-play-sleep-fail/
DD has always fed before sleep (and sometimes after too). Breastmilk calms a baby and promotes sleep so it's perfectly natural to do this. Ok, so she used to feed to sleep in the early weeks but she doesn't now and I actually really miss this
You can drive yourself mad trying to conform to routines and schedules that may not be right for you and your baby.
Disclaimer: I'm not criticising anyone who follows easy, and clearly it works for many.

I liked the blog you linked to, Dreams. It was very balanced.

Thanks Kiwiinkits I didn't just want to dismiss it just because it didn't work for me, but it's sometimes reassuring to know you're not the only one.

3.5 months is still very little - I wouldn't worry too much tbh if what you're doing is working for you both. The routine will probably alter quite naturally for you, as your LO starts to be more able to stay awake during the day for longer, or goes on to solid food - or starts waking up if boob removed! I like Baby Whisperer very much, but please don't feel you have to adhere rigidly to her rules if you have something that works. It is not for long, this stage, and yes, baby needs to learn to go to sleep by herself, but it will happen in time when it needs to happen. yy to singing and rhymes, but for the fun of it and the bonding, when you're both in the mood, not as a keep-awake!

Thanks for all your comments. It's good to know that I don't need to panic so early on! I'll try the suggestion if adding short stories in before sleeps.

Thanks everyone!

Agree with others - you are not storing up trouble - my ds stopped falling asleep on the boob/ bottle as he got older - it doesn't work once they are bigger and more alert ...

Best advice if you want to have a little bit more routine and drop the pre nap feeds is as a poster say above - cuddle/ sing / rock to sleep and gradually they will get used to having more spaces out feeds - also you can start to put the baby down drowsy and she will get used to knowing that the cot is for sleep time and as she gets older will settle more easily on her own

I know people on mumsnet always say not to worry about a routine but feeding constantly ie before all naps as well as when they wake is very tiring ! I really found it easier when I spaced the feeds out and didn't feed to sleep. I still fed extra feeds if I felt I needed to - so would feed to sleep if nothing else working didn't beat myself up about being strict .. Gradually you get confident that they don't need it to sleep

I've been reading it too recently, but out of interest rather than with any intention of trying to follow it.

The basic routine isn't too bad if all you are looking for is a idea of a structure for your day. The problem I have is her insistence that this system can be universally applicable and any problem you have can be solved by implementing it. I also hate her concept of "accidental parenting", which to my mind has the potential to undermine the confidence of parents to have any faith in their own instincts.

I have friends who have followed it and it has worked for them. Their babies though were the complete opposite to ds, who for the first few months ate non-stop and barely y napped during the day. It seems to me this type of routine works for babies who sleep lots anyway, and maybe need the amount of naps limiting to try to get them to sleep at night, and whose demand for food is lower so maybe need to be encouraged to eat more. On the contrary, it's really hard to get a baby who does not want to sleep to nap in a regular pattern, particularly without feeding to sleep. Trying to space out feeds for a baby who eats frequently is also hard and potentially causes problems, eg if you are bf so you would have to stop doing it on demand and potentially affect your supply.

I reckon Baby Whisperer works really well for hungry babies IF used in combination with a supplementary bottle feed. ie, one feed per day is a big bottle feed. Otherwise I reckon it wouldn't work (like your baby, Brugs).

I also think the first 4 weeks should be a free for all and baby should feed/sleep whenever he or she jolly wants to! Around 6 weeks is a good time to start putting in place the patterns and routines that you want to see established over time. By 5 months, too late.

It worked for my baby (now 5 months). We got serious at implementing it at 3 months.

His routine is EASYAE (he doesn't wake up hungry, has food approx 30 min after sleep).