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Parenting

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Original poster

Using toilet as delaying tactic at bedtime

18 replies

cruisepool · 04/08/2013 19:56

DD (2.9) had been potty trained for a month or so. She still wears a pull up for nap and night time.

But she has cottoned on to the fact pees/poos can be used as a delaying tactic at bedtime and keeps on asking for the potty or toilet. i find it hard to know when to draw the line and say enough is enough and sometimes she will actually do something in the toilet and I would struggle to leave her in bed shouting for a wee wee incase she actually did need one. I know she has her pull up on, but it seems cruel to me to almost force her to pee herself.

Has anyone else had a problem like this? If so, how do you overcome it?!

thanks

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sooperdooper · 04/08/2013 19:58

Could you suggest it at bedtime before she gets the chance to, so you know she's already been

HotCrossPun · 04/08/2013 19:58

Can you make the potty part of the bedtime routine. So do story/teeth/potty/bed. That way you know she'll have been right before bed and can't use it as a delay tactic.

Original poster

cruisepool · 04/08/2013 20:04

We have it as part of the routine, she always gets a seat on the toilet after her first book (she gets two). Sometimes she will do something at that point, at sometimes not.

So, the thing is, she get a chance to go. But sometimes, even if she doesn't need then, she will need one 15 mins later. I don't think I would mind (perhaps?) saying no to the potty and leaving her to grumble and shout if I knew she had just done a pee, but if she didn't do one in the toilet, I would struggle to leave her, just incase she did need! Does that make any sense?!

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OutragedFromLeeds · 04/08/2013 20:27

Teach her to go by herself? That way she can't use it to get your attention. Or take her, but no talking and straight back to bed. She just needs to know that it doesn't work . Once she's been once I wouldn't go up to her again, she's had two chances by then and if she really needed to go she'd have gone!

fengirl1 · 04/08/2013 20:31

How about 'Squeeze out a few drops'? It worked for me with my dds.

Original poster

cruisepool · 04/08/2013 20:31

Thanks for the suggestions.

She is still in her cot, so does need me. I do interact as little as possible when I do go to get her. I think I will start telling her it is two shots and that is it. You know I will feel awful if I leave her shouting by the third time and it turns out her pull up is wet in the morning (of course it could have been wet at any point during the night, but still...)

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Original poster

cruisepool · 04/08/2013 20:32

What do you mean fengirl?

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OutragedFromLeeds · 04/08/2013 20:34

Maybe time to move her to a bed so she can go to the toilet if she needs to?

readysteady · 04/08/2013 20:36

Try just picking her up and put her on loo and leave the room so no interaction then when she gets bored and calls for you say 'all done sweetheart?' and tuck her back to bed.....repeat six times until the novelty wears off (hopefully) good luck...my second was just the same, it's annoying because you don't want to discourage them but don't want to let them use it as a game.

readysteady · 04/08/2013 20:37

Oh and moving to a bed and potty should work also (just seen that she is still in a cot)

Sparkleandshine · 04/08/2013 20:39

Very simple, a treat for good behaviour at bedtime like a special breakfast cereal in the morning. She loses it if she gets up and fails to produce said wee or poo.

Always get her up, and administer the punishment of removal for desired treat if she's swinging the lead!

Original poster

cruisepool · 04/08/2013 20:42

I know I need to move her to a bed at some point, but honestly, that is a can of worms I cannot face at the moment. It may (and I am doubtful) solve the potty problem, but it kill mean we can kiss goodbye to naps and both her and I are not ready for that!

I have tried leaving her to it and leaving the room when she is sitting on the potty, but she just bloody waddles after me holding it to her bum. It is times like that I think 'is this what my life has become?'.

ready you are right - I am trying to tread the line between not discouraging her, but also not having her take the piss (pun intended!)

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BettyandDon · 04/08/2013 20:47

I just let DD1 go once normally, but I always believe her if she says she needs to go repeatedly. We've had terrible times with bladder infections and constipation though. I have also started telling her that she can just tell me she wants a cuddle or whatever rather than making up that she needs the loo. Works a bit.

BettyandDon · 04/08/2013 20:48

Could you put a potty in her room so it is less exciting to use it?

Yika · 04/08/2013 21:01

Just wanted to say that my DD 2.10 is exactly the same - she gets up 3 or 4 times claiming to need a wee. If nothing is produced and I send her back to bed she'll up the ante by claiming to need a poo. At which point she will happily sit on the potty for half an hour with me sent away and the door closed while she leafs through my magazines. Just occasionally though she does actually do a poo so it's hard to say she can't go. She is in a bed but still demands help. My brilliant solution is to eventually lose my temper and storm off.

Regarding the transition from a cot. She had the choice of either the cot with the side taken off or a big bed for a couple of months as we had them both up in her room at the same time. She tended to prefer the cot but a few days ago I finally got rid of it and as compensation put up a play tent in her room. I kept the cot mattress and put it in the tent - it's a great way to get her to lie down and have some quiet time if not an actual nap - just wanted to share that tip with you for when you do get rid of your cot!

Indith · 04/08/2013 21:05

Potty in the bedroom so there is no leaving her room after bed. Makes it less of a big exciting thing for her.

Original poster

cruisepool · 04/08/2013 21:16

hahahahahahaaa yika, I may have adopted the storm off approach from time to time.

If I knew for sure she was at it, I would leave her to it. But sometimes she the time she will produce something, which makes it hard to say 'no' to her.

Urgh.

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fengirl1 · 05/08/2013 19:32

Sorry! Been busy and just seen that I didn't make myself clear.... I meant that at bedtime dc's would be told to squeeze out a few drops - if they were needing a wee it would be done, if not, it was a reasonably safe bet that they didn't need one and wouldn't for a while.... I also used this as a delaying tactic (once old enough and they could wait a bit) and say if they still needed one in five minutes I would come up. The boredom factor would often kick in and they would go to sleep.

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