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Parenting

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Original poster

Cry it out failed. Any ideas?

43 replies

Hugo123 · 04/08/2013 17:54

I have just tried the camp out method with my son being told it was better than crying out. The first night he screamed like he was constantly getting his vaccinations non stop for 2 hrs then threw up like I have never seen before. He cried at each nap. The second night he screamed for 2 hrs then lost his voice. The 3rd night he cried through each nap then fell asleep at night but now he has no naps. We need him to sleep in his own cot all night, and fall asleep without breastfeeding to sleep as I have been quite ill and he can now roll. We have made sure his days are regimented and have 3 hrs of allotted naps. Does anyone have any ideas? Surely there must be a. Better way. We have seen no improvement in 4 days just endless crying and a despondent, sad baby. I can't have my baby cry endlessly and losing his voice i feel is dangerous.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Nicknamefail · 04/08/2013 19:40

Well done Hugo. Lots of 5 month olds do sleep through..... But most don't. Luck of the draw! There is nothing wrong with nursing to sleep. I slept trained as I am going back to work soon and won't be back for bedtime, si needed a solution, but would have carried on feeding to sleep otherwise. although now she has top teeth I'm quite glad she doesn't feed through the night for the sake of my nipples

PurplePidjin · 04/08/2013 19:58

Roll a bath towel up and prop him up then! :o

I still feed to sleep, it's fab and i know he's got a nice full tummy - i often have warm milk to help me sleep, why shouldn't he?! It's the 1:30 and 4 am feeds I'm stopping

BigPigLittlePig · 04/08/2013 20:04

You poor thing.

I nightweaned my dd (8mo) 2 months ago, which coincided with me going back to work, her eating more in the day, and moving to her own room. Prior to that, she spent a loooot of time in my bed, and would wake up 4, 5, 6 times a night for a snack and a cuddle. She also wouldn't nap anywhere but on me in the day. I don't agree with the crying it out method either (and MIL has proved it doesn't work with dd), but read a lovely article which was full of good suggestions. I shall put some of them below. It has the advantage of being as gentle as you need it to be. I wish you luck with finding a solution you're comfortable with, which doesn't involve too many tears.

If there is any way you could sleep on a mattress on his bedroom floor for a few nights, you may find it easier - it's what I did and made the transitiion easier.

You say you can't feed him to sleep? Are you still planning to feed him overnight, or is he having a bottle?

Some suggestions.

Tackle the first morning nap first. Feed/rock to sleep in his room, then lay down with him in your arms on the mattress (your bed if you can't do this). Over a period of days, retreat so you're lying close to him, but not touching, then sitting next to him, sitting in the room, leaving him. At some point, try putting him in the cot. Don't attempt nighttimes yet, as he may well be spooked by all the sudden changes, hence why he's so distraught.
Once that nap is tackled, and he's happy being in his cot, you could start trying to replicate the above at bedtime. I used to be happy if dd was in her cot for the first stretch, then would bring her into our bed, until I night weaned her and she started sleeping through (she was a little older though).
On overnight wakings, if he struggles to go back to sleep after being bf/bottle fed/rocked, lie down with him on his floor (on mattress) in the dark, and pat/rub etc. DD used to shout, but not cry, as she wanted to chat and I wouldn't oblige

I think I might be waffling, so I'll stop now. But gradual is key. It took me about a week to tackle day tiime naps (the first one only), and a week to tackle bedtimes. Tonight, after feeding her so she was sleepy, it took 25 minutes of patting her back whilst she moped around her cot - but she got there. And I guarantee she was one of the worlds worst sleepers. You will get there.

I'll shut up now

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lola88 · 04/08/2013 20:15

Your doing the right thing I still cuddle ds to sleep at 18mo and will until he kicks me out of his bed we both love it, it took a few months of a few attempts of putting him down before he would go in his cot but he got it and now we go to his room cuddle him while he has a bottle in the rocking chair he will be asleep in 10 mins and goes down no prob. Infact we have just taken the side off his cot because he's so heavy now and when he wakes in the night he brings me back to his bed

Original poster

Hugo123 · 04/08/2013 20:19

Thank you BigPigLittlePig. That all makes a lot of sense and glad to hear you got there. Advice helps a lot. He is still right next to my bed in his cot (family history of sids so he will stay in our room for a while). He used to sleep in his cot until c. 2-3am then move into our bed and he had basically learnt to feed whenever he wanted to. Day times he needs to be held or in a pram or crib by the window so he can watch outside. i just realised it is getting dangerous with my illness/fatigue and his new found rolling skills. Great idea to tackle the daytime naps first. And for us, more routine in general, just in baby steps... He will learn to go to sleep without feeding when he needs to, but perhaps we just deal with that once he is eating lots of real food. As a huge baby (over 10kgs already) this could be a key issue anyway...

Thanks purplepidjin. We might try that but for now he gets stuck a lot on his tummy and can't roll back again, so we aren't going to put extra things in his crib just yet until he learns how to easily roll back. We do sometimes put a small stuffed toy behind him as this is small enough to help but not hinder if he gets stuck!

OP posts:

UnevenTan · 04/08/2013 20:25

Glad to hear things are going better .

Have you seen [[http://www.isisonline.org.uk/ ISIS]?

UnevenTan · 04/08/2013 20:25

ISIS

LaRosaBella · 04/08/2013 20:33

My dad is 5 months old and wakes every 1 to 2 hours, she is currently rolling around my bed laughing and just general not being bloody asleep, I've given up on getting her to sleep for now, so no every 5 month old does not sleep through!! Mine also will not sleep in her cot.

LaRosaBella · 04/08/2013 20:33

Such not dad, my dd!

Original poster

Hugo123 · 04/08/2013 20:54

ISIS looks great. Thanks. LaRosaBelle, as extreme as some things this consultant said were, even though we were told it wasn't a crying method (!) the good thing was routine in the day which we were taught which means he now is asleep by 7pm rather than 10pm. You may well already be doing this! But the 7am wake up and getup, and nap 2 hrs later, does mean after 5months my husband and I finally have had a few nights together. I just won't expect him to sleep through or get to that point without feeding now!!

OP posts:

Nexus6 · 04/08/2013 21:17

That's great news! Sending 'energy waves' for the next few nights! Glad you feel happier too.

LaRosaBella · 04/08/2013 21:25

I'm soooooo bad with routine, I try but I don't even know where to begin, my baby has such bad wind so she doesn't sleep reliably EVER! Think I've forgotten what my DP looks like!

Rooners · 05/08/2013 06:10

Rosa no one needs a routine. You honestly don't have to have one. Seriously these books that keep coming out seem to make new mothers feel that routines are the only way to get it right - many of us have never even tried to impose one because babies don't understand time and even night/day for a very long while.

Any sort of routine is essentially for the benefit of the parents, and imo the best you can do for a baby is to try and respond to its needs at any time of the day or night - it cries because it needs you, that's all imo.

You are doing great

Nicknamefail · 05/08/2013 08:14

I think routine is useful in some babies. When my dd was born I didn't impose a routine and wanted to go with the flow. After 4 months I realised that she would play and play until exhausted and then I would have to rock her to sleep which would take ages as she was so exhausted. With the next one I shall certainly put her/him down (cot/sling/rocket) for a loose regimen of naps. Once she started to wean dd also set her own routine and got hungry and sleepy at the same times each day.

Original poster

Hugo123 · 05/08/2013 08:20

LaRosaBella - wind just is awful isn't it! Agree with Rooners. My baby was almost trying to take daytime naps like clockwork already, so for me it was more a case of me preparing in time to be able to be ready for when he wanted to sleep. Not impose them on him. He would normally be bashing me on the head as if to say it is 9.55am I want to sleep and I'd have completely lost track of what time of day it is. I've never even had a routine for myself! But it has helped that I am keeping track of time so better able to put him to bed as soon as his early signals start.

OP posts:

Daguerreotype · 05/08/2013 08:33

Please please don't do this to your baby.

At 5 months babies are waaaaay to young to learn to sleep in this way and need around the clock reassurance, comfort, love etc. why don't you want to feed baby to sleep?

Again, please do not let your baby cry like this, you are doing yourself and your family no favours. Psychologically it is likely to damage him. Physically it already is as you say that your baby was sick.

Imsosorryalan · 05/08/2013 08:42

Not sure if anyone has said already, but at five months, I think mine we're still hungry in the night. They would have screamed all night if I didn't feed them!
Can you / partner give your baby a bottle?

UnevenTan · 05/08/2013 19:04

I have 4 dcs. 3 of them started sleeping all evening from 5-6 months, all quite suddenly. One slept all evening from about 8 weeks. Could it be that the daytime routine change co-incides with your dd starting to sleep all evening, rather than being causally related?

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