PND and sleep deprivation

[cupcake78]

How did you get through? I feel so much better after getting rest but with a ds who's 5 and has never slept well and a 5 week old dd who hates the heat and gets very unsettled I'm finding it really bad.

Last night ds went to stay with my mum and I moved out of our room to sleep in ds room at 2am after constantly being asked what to do with dd by a very fractious dh who does night feeds on a Friday and Saturday to help me get rest. I find he is so noisy with dd that I get no extra rest as I wake up the minute I hear her. Dh waits till there is a definite cry which can take 10 minutes of thrashing.

Since Tuesday my anxiety levels have been very high and panic has begun. I am convinced this is made worse by lack of rest/sleep as I've never been one to cope well with life on little sleep. I'm on 10mg of citalopram for almost 3 weeks to bolster me against oncoming PND which I caught early.

I need my sleep! I've had a recent close bereavement and life has thrown a lot at me in the last 3 weeks.

Could you go away for a night to get a break and let your dh build his confidence?

Sleep as much as you can during the day, do something relaxing for yourself - pilates, swimming, running etc

It gives you space to think and your dh space to bond with dd.

Counselling also helps with anxiety.

Why don't you deal with night feeds on Friday and Saturday and sleep in the day instead? Your DH could take baby for a walk and older one to the park. Because the nights clearly arent working?

Also you will be worrying about the lack of sleep which will make it worse. I suffer terribly from poor sleep and it makes me feel very low and I get into a vicious circle of worrying about not sleeping, then not sleeping, then I'm even more tired!

I don't think going away is an option. I would feel guilty about leaving dh to just get on with it. I've just popped back into our room and dh is flat out dd is in our bed and there are bottles and dummy's everywhere! Dh said its been a tough night . Now I feel really bad about just leaving them to it.

I tried the sleeping during the day but ds got very down that I was spending all my time with the baby and he wanted me. As he's on school holidays daytime napping isn't happening and I've been that busy visiting sick/bereaved family and trying to keep all the plates in the air so to speak.

I'm run down and very tired and have been under a lot of stress. It's only the last 24 hrs I've realised this. I haven't even had the time to cry or grieve yet either!

I had horrible PND bought in by sleep deprivation, so really feel for you. I would sleep in the other room with ear plugs and try to get some rest. She is your second so I'm sure he can cope and it's only a couple of nights.

I still do this at 16 months (terrible sleeper) and it makes a huge difference. When he fed overnight, DH used to be my night nurse and bring him in to me to feed and then do the winding and resettling. Really helped.

You can sleep in the day while your DH is home and takes them out.

You can rest by plonking your eldest in front of the tv for half an hour.

Try not to obsess about getting a full nights sleep - that way lies the road to madness (been there).

Sorry about your loss - that makes life even harder. But take small steps to get rest where you can even if it's not every day.

Night time sleep is actually more important than day time sleep - studies on night workers have shown that it is vital for your brain and your emotional well being to sleep during the night - so it's not good advice to just say the op should rest in the day.

I think you have to really let go of the guilt a out yor dp he is doing 2 out if 7 nights, you absolutely need those for your sanity and health. Ear plugs and sleep on another room
I would really suggest you take at lest one night To stay away from home.

And resting while a child watches tv really does not replace actual sleep - I think you have to get tough and prioritise sleep - night and day whenever you can.

Could you afford extra childcare or one off bits of help to use for sleeping ?

I feel for you, I had terrible PND exacerbated by severe sleep deprivation. It's a vicious circle, I got horribly anxious over the fact that I wasn't sleeping, which led to worse insomnia.
What did help was good quality earplugs and an eye mask in the spare room.

Also, SSRI meds like citalopram can heighten anxiety initially and insomnia can also be a side effect. I was definitely worse for a few weeks after starting them.

You must make rest a priority!, I had awful anxiety and insomnia around the time my DS was 15 months brought on by severe sleep deprivation. I wish now I had prioritised myself a bit instead of running myself ragged doing night wake ups and never resting :( .
You are doing great to try and nip this in the bud nice and early-I would stick with your weekend set-up after a while you will start to relax and sleep better on those nights also I agree with posters suggesting you get as much daytime rest as you can-I remember the guilts about wanting to be there for first child too but believe me you will spend better quality time with your DS when you are rested and refreshed!.
Take things slowly and cut all corners you can-easy dinners, minimum of housework and plenty of early nights do not think you have to be superwoman (as I did) it is very early days and you will honestly feel so much better in a short while.

Yes of course night time sleep is more important but if the op is lying there listening to baby then she may as well sort the night feeds. It is temporary even though it doesn't feel that way.
The baby is so very young so unrealistic to expect full night sleep and you end up getting more stressed if you try and obtain it with a newborn.

Have had an interesting weekend. Its not long stretches of sleep I need but I do need at least 14 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period otherwise I find it hard to cope and begin to feel overwhelmed.

Days I've been for walks I've felt better and days I've cried I've felt better (this is the grieving that I need to do) but finding the space to do this away from the children is impossible during the week. I am sure the PND and grief are playing off each other.

I had three hours to myself yesterday. I cleaned the house for an hour as i find it hard to relax if my house is upside down and then spent some time watching a film, something I haven't done for months in fact I can't remember the last time I managed an hour of uninterrupted TV. As the day goes on I feel worse, by night time my anxiety is high. I'm thinking of starting some kind of exercise regime in an evening in the house to help get over this time.

Company of friends is really important. I need to hear about other people's lives otherwise I become absorbed in my own which doesn't help as its all in a big black fog.

How are things op?

Ok. Apart from now having v and d and proper flu.

I think my body has finally broken after months of stress. Mum is taking the children today. Dh wouldn't ever think of taking a day off work if I'm ill unless told to. I must sleep to get better.

I'm being far more ruthless with dh and giving him dd while he's up watching TV. The fact he even has the energy to stay awake and watch a film till 11pm on weekdays when weekends he's begging for sleep by 9pm confirms working and no night feeds is a lot easier than 2 children all day and nights. He doesn't offer which annoys me!

Fell asleep with ds (5) on sofa while he watched a film and dd slept. Just a 20min nap but made a difference.
It's simple really if I sleep I cope if I don't I crumble.

I'm going to start dd on a bedtime routine this weekend. She'll be 6 wks by then. If I can get her to sleep from 8pm it will really help. At the moment she's hard to settle before 10.30.

Sleep is very very important to me to keep my PND controllable. I guard it ferociously. Sleep makes me feel better and able to face the day, full stop.

Although I find it harder now DD is 19 months old, rather than the early days. I think you're onto the right track, take ear plugs and eye mask into the spare room and go to sleep, and let DH get on with it. I'm sure he will cope.