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Parenting

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Original poster

Worried for friends baby :/

18 replies

taylor30 · 02/08/2013 21:48

Hi.
I'm new to the forum and i'm not sure I've posted in the correct section so I apologise if not.
Anyway I have worries at the moment regarding a friends 7 month old baby.
The baby in question is currently living on a diet of flavoured milkshakes, cheesy puff crisps and custard...barely any real baby food at all.
She doesn't have baby formula at all and hasn't for a few months, there is also no steralization process of the bottles and hasn't been for at least 4 months.
On bringing the subject up with her mother I get told that the baby doesn't "like" milk and will only drink milkshake, I find this hard to believe myself and am worried for the baby's health as she seems really over weight and bloated and doesn't seem a happy and content baby, she cries constantly.
I'm really unsure on what to do as her mother just won't listen to any advice offered :(

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CreatureRetorts · 02/08/2013 21:50

Ask her what her Health visitor or GP says?

Do you have kids? Just wondering if you could come at it from that angle.

Original poster

taylor30 · 02/08/2013 21:53

Yes I have 2 older children and have tried to help her with advice but she doesn't seem to take anything on board.

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Original poster

taylor30 · 02/08/2013 21:54

Oh and I know her health visitor is concerned about the baby's weight.

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littlestressy · 02/08/2013 21:56

What do the parents eat? Are you able to advise what babies could eat/drink? Do you have children of your own and could invite them over and cook.a meal for everyone?
I suppose you need to find out if the baby is eating only these things and why....money/can't cook/don't know what to give them etc

LemonBreeland · 02/08/2013 21:57

If you know who her HV is I think I would be telling her what the baby is currently eating.

mummy2benji · 02/08/2013 21:57

I'm a GP and tbh that is serious and a child safety / social services concern. Perhaps she doesn't realise how bad this is and you could tell her that compromising her child's health and wellbeing in this way would raise a serious concern for a health professional regarding her ability to look after her child. If she is finding the baby hard to feed, she needs to talk to her GP and HV for advice and support, not just give her inappropriate sugary drinks that are full of additives. She is increasing her baby's risk of developing diabetes, obesity, and other health problems. If you don't know what to do, ask to see your own HV at your surgery for advice. She might be able to help you with regard how you approach this with your friend. Please don't do nothing.

schmee · 02/08/2013 22:00

mummy2benji - as a GP what would you advise?

mumschat · 02/08/2013 22:07

Wow that is really bad I dont understand how a mother could treat their own child like that U need to tell someone fast before this poor baby gets sick it obviously is not getting the nutrients it needs this baby is only 7 months formula or breastmilk is so important as is nutritous food. This is neglect and you need to help that baby wether or not you upset your friend

Original poster

taylor30 · 02/08/2013 22:09

Thank you so much for your reply as I now feel I have real reason to push the subject further with the parents and express real concern.

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Original poster

taylor30 · 02/08/2013 22:22

I have just found out who her health visitor is and will be contacting her first thing Monday morning.
I think we are way past the advice stage now myself, I don't want to interfere but in light of the replies to my thread I think it's what is needed sadly :(

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Original poster

taylor30 · 02/08/2013 22:24

Thank you all for your replies x

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SecrectFarleysNibbler · 02/08/2013 23:13

Sometimes we have to be ready to sacrifice a friendship or the greater good.

SecrectFarleysNibbler · 02/08/2013 23:13

Or = for

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 03/08/2013 08:32

You're doing the right thing taylor. If you value the friendship it may be worth telling your friend in no uncertain terms that she is harming her baby and you can't stand by and watch it happen, before Monday.

I suspect though that anyone who would feed a baby like that has no knowledge or understanding of childcare and she is going to need some professional help.

But yes, please do talk to HV or gp or even discuss with ss if you don't get taken seriously by the HV. Don't let this go for the sake of that little baby.

lollipoppi · 03/08/2013 20:23

She sounds like she needs some serious advise on weaning, feeding, health ect she is doing serious harm to her baby makes me so sad.

Your doing the right thing OP

lollipoppi · 03/08/2013 20:24

Does she have any other children?

Wishwehadgoneabroad · 03/08/2013 20:26

Is the mother depressed? It sounds like she needs support too.

Definitely report. This poor baby's needs are not being met. So little.

and I thought my SIL was a shocking mother

mummy2benji · 04/08/2013 23:15

I think you're totally right taylor to do that, I would do the same in your position. If this causes problems with your friendship, hopefully she will come to realise the harm she is doing her baby and will come to forgive you in time and be glad you intervened. I hope the HV is sensible and takes the responsibility off your shoulders - all the best.

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