Boys can play with dolls!

[Prufrock]

My 2 year old ds has developed an attachment towards one of his sisters dolls. For the last 2 days it has not been out of his arms - he even woke up at 5.30am yelling "baaaabeeeee". He kisses and cudles it, and tells it to "shush" whilst patting its back.

All wonderful - and I am proud that my boy is not constrained by gender stereotypes. But I have a problem with my ridiculous husband. He wants to take the doll away . Apparently boys shouldn't play with dolls! Can anybody think of any witty, but incredibly compelling arguments I can use to persuade him that his boy will not be harmed by this attachment? I am of course going to take no notice of his wishes, but I would like to be able to convince him I am right rather than just tell him that I am in charge of childrearing and so he can shut up. (Which I've obviously already done )

cant think of anything witty, but my ds is 4 and plays with dolls

Nothing wrong with boys playing with dolls IMO. Would he stop your dd playing with your ds's cars?

and pram and teaset

mine wa anti ds1 havign a pram
fgs
eh denies it nwo but he was

It's an important phase for any child. Can you compromise with a nice toy monkey or would that be giving in? Ds2 bf his toys when dd2 was very new. Nothing wrong with it but if your ds is going to pick up on his dad's negative feelings it might be best to find a compromise toy, or he may feel he is doing something wrong. Tricky stuff. Bloody testosterone!

i got my sister to buy itf ro him then it was gift form ehr he coudlnt moan abotu

Ask your DH if he wants his son to be a good father to any children he may have! Or does he feel that fathers shouldn't hug or show affection to their children?

my son had a doll, we called it 'baby' he loved it for a couple of weeks, mind you its head was very hard and would hurt if you dropped it on your foot.

children identify with dolls because they're like them, you can teach them eyes, mouth etc.

dh says: maybe he's just jealous of ds being allowed to cuddle dolls cause he wasn't when he was a kid

tell him he can have one too if he wants

ah, ffs. kids need dolls. First they are learning about being a parent. Second, they are acting out what happens to them-a doll is like an alter ego.

ds would be horrified if he couldn't play with dolls. but so would dp.

Flatter him and tell him his son is just copying him and oh look, it must mean that daddy is doing a really good job since ds is so attentive and loving to his doll! Then reassure him and tell him that ds will be teaching the doll the offside rule before long so not to worry

Tell him it is a sign that he identifos with his daddy, and is cuddling his doll like his daddy cuddled him - and there are lots of other light-Sabre-Weilding games he will also like to play with Daddy.

Also quote the numerous other boys who have dolls.

I had to cart bloody BabyBorn on a train to Penrith last w/e because DS was insistent that she would be lonely without us. And he spends plenty of time in role as Superhero SuperBoy.

Tell your DH that is is Brilliant that boys are following their dads into being good fathers to their children etc etc.

These dads - what are they like?

Doll - pah! Tell your DH he is lucky - my DS really like to wear the sparkly mules that someone gave to Dd for her dressing up box.

My ds has an older adn a younger sister and is always being roped into the Barbie games, and being a daddy when dd1 is playing 'housies'. He carries the baby dollies around, and was very upset when dh told him that he would never be able to breastfeed! (ds is a bf evangelist).
But he also builds spaceships out of lego, plays 'daddy' while dressed up as Spiderman and loves his train set. As do the girls. Gender stereotypes are there to be broken.

My sister's exDH was absolutely livid that his mother bought DN a pram. A pink pram. With a doll to ride in it. Anytime DN used it (which was a lot because naturally enough he absolutely adored it) exDH would mutter loudly about "f*ing puffs". Charming man. Not!

tell him an action man is a doll and to stop being stupid.

My dh was rather shocked that I bought ds3 a buggy for xmas, silly sod! the thing is that buggy has been played with almost every single day since xmas!

You cn also tell your Dh that my ds3 has painted toenails today. I was doing mine and he wanted his done too. I did a little bit on each toe but never the less I expect my Dh to spontainously combust when he sees them at bath time.

I have yet to meet a toddler, boy or girl, that doesn't like playing with dolls. Buggies too - dont' know if you go to any mother & toddler groups but there are never enough buggies to go around and the boys are as quick to try and snag them as the girls. If your DH really has to have an explanation just tell him that it is a phase that almost all children go through no matter what sex they are and that if he gets to primary school and is still attached to the doll then you can discuss it again then. Can almost gaurantee he will have outgrown it by then, and probably long before.

Tell him if he represses his son now, he risks making him gay, after all, it is heterosexual men who are more likely to have babies!

There is a study in Australia proving my theory. Probably.

I've already told him he's stupid LTH! Unfortunately it didn't convince him.

Thank you for all of your suggestions. I've used the father figure, gay men don't have babies, and the fact that my bf's brother is gay, and she said he never played with dolls when small. (I'm leaving the argument about not actually minding if ds is gay or not until I have to fight it). He's being forced to come round to my way of thinking, though I still think he feels that there is something inherently wrong in it - why are men such testosterone fueled fools about some stuff?

We have reached a compromise now, that dh is happy for ds to play with the doll, and to take it on holiday with us, but it is not allowed to wear the pink dress - I'm going to put it in one of ds's old babygroes and let it be an asexual doll!

Hmm prufrock can I just hijack and ask what sort of doll it is and how well it fits? Because doll's clothing is very expensive but I have quite a lot of baby clothing in the loft.

DS is quite into playing with dolls atm. He is 5. But never really had much in that line so is making up for it with all DD's stuff. I think it is lovely because they play together with them so well. They are on more equal terms than with most of DS's stuff. They also love the play food/kitchen, happyland (although this tends to leads to arguments because DD does it "wrong" or sits in the middle of the mat), and duplo.