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Parenting

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Over-tired five year old

10 replies

iamadoozermum · 01/08/2013 09:08

Looking for some tips really. DS2 is five, nearly six and he's an absolute nightmare when he's tired. He gets over-emotional, defiant, argumentative, pretends he can't understand simple information, screams and shouts - you get the picture. Obviously, the solution is to make sure that he gets enough sleep, but this is where we need help.

He has started not going to sleep when he goes to bed, he is exhausted, we have a bedtime routine but still no sleep. He goes into his older brother's room (who doesn't need much sleep so he's awake), comes downstairs, keeps his younger brother and sister awake through chatting so he's going to sleep quite late. He is now also getting up early as well and making lots of noise with his big brother and waking everyone else up.

I don't mind them being up early if they play quietly, but they don't and DS2 is clearly exhausted, yawning constantly and often horrible to be around because he's so tired. He's badly behaved on purpose to get a reaction which we try to avoid but we're only human. He has a reward chart for good behaviour which sometimes works but he's so tired he can't really think straight to consider the consequences.

Sorry for the essay but we've had a terrible morning so far and would like to try to avoid any more!

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PeterParkerSays · 01/08/2013 09:13

Would low classical music in the background or a children's meditation tape help his brain to switch off? Sell it as being something special for him.

iamadoozermum · 01/08/2013 10:22

Thanks for that Peter, it's certainly worth a try. Will have to work out the logistics as he shares with his two younger siblings, I wonder if an iPod with headphones might be an idea, reinforcing the special treat thing?

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Gruntfuttocks · 01/08/2013 10:28

Can you enlist the help of his older brother to stop the early morning noise? Could they have some breakfast together quietly eg cereal?

The not going to sleep thing is the real problem, though, isn't it? What is your bedtime routine? Is he getting over-stimulated by something so that he can't relax and get to sleep? No computer/screens for at least an hour before bed is a good plan. Can you increase the wind down time before bedtime - hot milk, warm bath, story in bed etc and try to get him really calm and quiet before you actually turn out the lights? Could younger sibs sleep elsewhere for a few nights? Definitely stop him going in to big brother - sit outside on the landing if necessary.

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iamadoozermum · 01/08/2013 12:28

Thanks for the tips Gruntfuttocks. Big brother is more excitable than DS2 unfortunately and so the two of them together is just noise and chaos. There's only 16 months between them. We don't have the room for the little ones to sleep elsewhere (hoping to move soon though). Bedtime routine is drink, bath (not every night though), teeth, stories (one short story per child or chapter of bedtime book e.g. The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe, 10 mins reading time then lights out. We've just started trying to swap the reading time and stories so that there is more of a definite end. We've tried sitting in the room or on the landing but then he just tries to talk to us and if we ignore then he starts shouting.

Will try to do more winding down before we go upstairs though, more of a pre-bedtime routine and see if that helps.

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Gruntfuttocks · 01/08/2013 13:56

Do you think it's worse because this is school holiday time? Do you need to wear him out a bit more with a late afternoon run around in the park / garden etc?

Re talking to you / shouting, you really do have to just ignore this and stick together on this one. Ignore ignore ignore and if it is seriously disrupting the other children, give him some consequences. "Stop calling out, or x will happen/you will lose y" then do it. He'll get fed up pretty soon. Better still, have a reward system and let him earn a special treat/trip by staying quiet at bedtime for 3 / 5 / 7 days or whatever. You just have to find a motivating force for him and stay one step ahead!

iamadoozermum · 02/08/2013 15:13

Well he was fine last night but had been out at the park and then Beavers. He got a new magazine which he wanted to read in bed but was told that it would be taken away if there was any noise. So that worked well but little brother was already asleep so that took part of it out of the equation. He didn't wake up until 7am as well and is being a wee angel today.

DH and I have decided to try winding down earlier, try the music and also a reward for X number of nights with good bedtimes. Fingers crossed and thanks to both of you for the advice Smile.

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mrswigglemunch · 02/08/2013 17:22

if you want to try music,what about an i-pillow (not sure what they're actually called). It has small speakers inside and you plug mp3 player into it. more comfortable than headphones and wouldn't disturb siblings. mine sends me straight to sleep! Grin

iamadoozermum · 02/08/2013 21:32

Brilliant suggestion mrswigglemunch

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plipplops · 03/08/2013 08:42

Was going to suggest the pillow with inbuilt headphones too :o) DDs have been awful at going to sleep in this hot weather and its getting later and later. Tried them with a story CD last night, did seem to relax them pretty well (DH and I listen to podcasts before bed quite often and I never get to the end!)

MinimalistMommi · 03/08/2013 10:24

I have a five year old DD who was finding it extremely hard to relax enough to go to sleep. A couple of things I wanted to mention:

Are you missing his sleep window so he is too over tired to get to sleep?
For my DD it is best if she is relaxing by about 5.45 pm (early I know) with no play as play was over stimulating her, we try and encourage her to look at picture books after her bedtime story for a little while and she has lights out at 6.30pm.

Also have you thought about massage for your DS? It doesn't take long, about five minutes or ten if he is really struggling to sleep. I bought some lovely baby massage spray with lavender in it from Waitrose and I simply make the room dark at about 6.20 pm and spray it under her top on her back while she is lying down and rub her back. Then I move on to her arms and rub and then spray a bit on my fingers and rub her face gently. This REALLY relaxes her and makes her ready for sleep. Please try it, IT REALLY WORKS Grin

My only warning is dont make the massage too long as then they fall into a really deep sleep and might then wake you at midnight full of beans. I tend to find five minutes is just right. Lavender is meant to be really good for promoting sleep. Please give it a try, we were having a nightmare with our five year old as she also shares a room. We also stagger bedtimes so my eight year old girl goes to bed at seven and more often then not my five year old will be asleep by the time my eight year old climbs into bed.

Another tip, does your DS wear socks to bed? I know cold feet can make it harder to sleep. If I forget her socks it will wake my DD in the middle of the night.

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