Feel like I am always barking orders... but asking nicely gets ignored!

[KommandantColditz]

ds1 is 3, and a conversation typically will go like this.

"Ds1, put your hat on please sweetheart"

"Ds1, Put your hat on please!"

"Ds1, put your hat on now!"

"HAT! NOW!"

How can |I convince him I mean it the first time I say it? I know he can hear me, I always make sure of that!

Oh, I know... at least ds (nearly 3) usually responds the third time to 'Ds, mummy has asked you nicely to put your hat on.' Responds in terms of acknowledging my existence, not in terms of doing what I'm asking... that would be too much to expect, clearly.

I don't know about for everyday but when my dd (4)is in a selective mood I start playing the robot game, where I am the teacher robot and her, my little robot. I give requests in a roboty type voice and she thinks it's hysterical and does as she's asked. Great for bedtimes too!

"Robot is requesting you locate your hat, can you do this part of the mission"

Nice idea Essbee but I suspect ds would demand a really, really long and involved robot game probably involving an encounter with a firefighter, a doctor and a prince, while we were at it. I just want him to come here now!

:)
Oh yes! Mine have phases of this. I hate yelling orders at my children but sometimes they just will not respond until I have got smoke coming out of both ears, stamping my foot with rage and am screaming "WE WILL BE LATE AGAIN..." at them. School run is definitely the worst!!
Bribes and mega fuss when they do respond first time helps but doesn’t solve it. Sometimes they have selective hearing that involves no known logic or reason I am afraid :)
At least you have the comfort of knowing your child is in the majority and it is totally normal..

Know exactly what you mean Kommandant

DS1 is 5 and just ignores me/doesn't seem to register my voice unless I BARK orders. I feel like an army major.

After 3 times of asking, I get to the 'right, ok ,dont then' stage, whereupon ds1 suddenly decides he will do whatever it is, because he suddenly thinks the option isnt there any more.

I have been known to break into song and sing ordersike a bad version of Mary Poppins. My sons hate it, but I will only stop when they have done as they are told. Not a good thing to do regularly as neighbours will think you are a madwoman, but it's a good last resort. My oldest son is 12 and the embarassment factor of hearing his mum sing 'oh find your clean underpants darling tra la la...' is pretty high!

serously though, I find threats work best with non listening, as long as you carry them out. And turning off the TV if they are mesmerised by it.

My two are awful at this, so will see if I can pick up tips.

You could try 'see if you can get your hat on before I count to 5' - still works in my house and he's 8.5

hmm might give that another go www. Counting used to work but somehow lost its magic overnight. Seems to me just as you've got a tactic that works the little darlings wise up...

They're like The Borg Edam, they adapt!

I aspire to barking. I frequently resort to screams

Luckily racing him still works if I want to get him into a different room or up the stairs. But all my other tricks have lost their effectiveness, sadly. Oh for the days when he would fall for 'Ok, mummy eat your spaghetti' or 'mummy's going to lie on your change mat'...

oh yes, www, counting is goooooood. It still works on the 12 year old - sometimes.

What about saying, 'do not put that hat on. no, no, no'? I did that today - 'you cant go upstairs for a nap'. worked a treat.

So glad I am not alone! It's bad enough when I get to the shouting stage but dp is a regular Basil Fawlty - stressful for all of us, especially if we're out
essbee, you must get some funny looks when you're out