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Whining, whining, tantrumming

4 replies

DrCoconut · 24/07/2013 22:37

DS2 was 2 in April. He had always been such a placid and easy to manage little thing but the last couple of weeks he's been horrific. Clingy, whining, tantrumming about anything and everything. And pushing at boundaries, touching things he shouldn't, throwing etc. He speaks well so it's not inability to communicate. There have been no changes that could have triggered it and no incidents I can think of such as an illness or accident. Even my mum has noticed it as he really kicked off at her house. She thinks he is basically being naughty and needs to know who's boss. Is it normal to become such hard work and how's best to deal with it? I don't want to pander to it but "discipline" seems to have a limited effect, he appears to need soothing rather than punishment. Once calmed down he will ask nicely or tell me whats wrong. I maybe worry more than average as DS1 has ASD and ADD and though I don't remember him being as difficult as these last few weeks have been I know behaviour problems can run in families. I see others with happy compliant toddlers and despair!

OP posts:
Troubleintmill · 24/07/2013 22:48

I'm afraid I don't have any advice but just wanted up say my 2.10 year old is like this too! He has had an ear infection but still I feel I'm constantly saying "don't do that..." Etc
I think it is just a phase and it will get better!? I hope....

KatyN · 25/07/2013 11:59

He's learning 'theory of mind' (my sister is a lecturer in psychology). Basically he's discovering that he is not the only person in the world and that you might (only might mind!) have different opinions or thoughts to him.

it's pretty crucial to learn but obviously going to be really hard for him (and you). try reading some background about what's going on in his head and maybe that will help explain why he's not really 'naughty' but just learning.

MillionPramMiles · 25/07/2013 14:50

I find my 14 month old dd gets like this if she's bored. I have a lot of structure to our days, morning activities, naps, afternoon outings etc. If I try to stay at home and do chores she can get crabby. Its knackering (am glad I only do it 3 days a week!).

By all accounts she's angelic at nursery.

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VinegarDrinker · 25/07/2013 14:56

Yup, at just after 2 we noticed that DS suddenly seemed to realise that not doing what he was told was an option. It seemed like before then it just hadn't occurred to him!

We do time out for anything 'violent' like hitting etc but otherwise mostly try and distract and/or remove.
It's definitely worse if he is hungry, tired etc.

No clever answers though!

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