Negative thoughts beginning to scare me

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I have two dc's, I love them both very much and am very lucky to have them. My 2nd dc is 3 months old. All has been fine, usual sleep deprivation aside!

However I am beginning to get a horrible thought that I am going to lose one of them before I die. I know that may sound really crazy but I am becoming progressively more and more upset by this thought. I haven't told anyone else as I am sure family/friends will think I'm crazy. Wanted to post on here though as it is really beginning to burden me.

The only other factor worth mentioning is that a very close friend lost her DH, very suddenly under very unusual and unpleasant circumstances. I meet with her once a week to try and offer her support. I'm wondering whether this is affecting my subconscious?

I am really convinced about this and it really is a scary thought. Has anyone else felt this type of thing?

Sorry if I sound really odd.

Intrusive, upsetting thoughts can be a sign of clinical anxiety and sometimes depression. How are you feeling overall?

Is it controllable? Are you able to distract yourself or rationalize it? You may benefit from talking to someone 'professional' about it if it's starting to really upset you. Have you considered going to the GP?

It might just be sleep deprivation & the shock of your friend's situation and the nastiness of how it came about which is pretty normal!

Go to your GP before it gets worse. I have generalised anxiety disorder. Its horrible and completely irrational but I can't stop the worries. For me I think its gone too far and I just have to live with it but if you get help early you may be able to beat this.

^ Agree.

I had anxiety quite bad and before it was treated I'd have horrible, vivid thoughts sort of 'invade' every now and again.

For example, out of nowhere I'd envision tripping up and smashing my face on the pavement. It used to make me cringe every time but it didn't go away by itself. I got it treated alongside depression a few years later

i am sorry your going through this. do talk to your gp. what you are talking about is actually pretty common - one in four of us will get something (depression, anxiety etc) at some point in our lives. Having a baby is one of the biggest triggers. It is also very treatable. like someone else said getting it treated early is really helpful. x

Thank you for sending me responses. In general I feel fine and it doesn't consume me, often I forget it. However I might hear about some tragedy etc and that makes me think it again.
I do not want to go to the GP as am very against anti depressant medication. I have had friends and family who have had very bad experiences.
I've also only really started to feel it badly since seeing my friend and her talking about losing a loved one.

if you dont want to go to the gp that is completly up to you. just wanted to say medication is not the only thing you should be offered. they should offer you a referral to a talking therapy. they would most prob offer you a few sessions to find some strategies to help manage the anxiety. up to you just didnt want you to think medication was the only option.

what ever you do be kind to yourself sounds like a hard thing to experience. all the best x

Thanks goldie, didn't know they would offer that as an option. Sounds reassuring.

My gp didn't give me medication. I had sleeping tabletsffor a short time as the anxiety was stopping me sleep and that made it worse.

My gp offered cbt. You can refuse medication.

I got life insurance, asked my brother to be guardian and wrote a will when DS was born. I still worry but I feel better knowing things are in place.

I wasn't depressed so wouldn't suggest this was adequate for someone who was but it sorted 80% of my negative thoughts.