Rude babysitter - what would you do?

[Xfitmamma]

Hi, for the last year or so a girl in our street has babysat our 7 year old occasionally. She is 17 and volunteered by putting a note through our door.

We pay her over the odds (meant to be £5 an hour but I always round it up so its quite a lot more), often leave money for her to take dd to get ice cream or snacks for them both, have given her clothes and makeup, trying to organise work experience for her etc.

A while ago I looked at her twitter account and was a bit shocked as it was full of swearing, really silly things to say etc but put it down to her being young and showing off. However this week my dd told her we got engaged a couple of weeks ago and are planning to get married next year.

For some reason I looked at her twitter yesterday and couldn't believe it - she had written something whe babysitting on sat night to say 'See if the woman I babysit for doesn't invite me to her wedding, I'm gonna batter her, I'm babysitting for you on a Saturday night, be f'ing grateful', all in caps and quite aggressive looking.

Now this is a girl who maybe babysits once a month and apart from that we don't socialise with. Dd loves her but obviously I can't use her any more.

I spoke with a few friends yesterday and they all think I should have a word with her parents and explain why I won't be using her anymore. My partner thinks I should speak to her personally, ask things like 'are you under a lot of peer pressure,' 'how much do you know about social networking' etc to try and help her understand.

I really don't want to do that as I think it's her parents job! Advice needed please!

She is 17yrs- I agree with your DP.

I agree with your DP as well.
Teenagers are often full of bravado and bullshit on social networking.

Why are you twitter staking your babysitter?

Are you following her on twitter (ie she could reasonably expect you to read her tweets) or is her account unlocked and you just read her tweets? If the former I would be more cross than the latter tbh.

If she's gentle, kind, and polite in real life, I might ignore her nonsense on twitter. How would she respond if you said something to let her know you had seen her outrageous language?
I wouldn't talk to her parents about it unless you are good friends, which it doesn't seem that you are.

Miranda I don't think it matters either way, the tweet was disrespectful and aggressive about an employer. If this was a 'real' job she could expect to get sacked and the same with a babysitting job. OP you need to explain to her directly I think, don't put it in terms of all the extras you have given her as they are irrelevant, just say you stumbled upon her twitter account and were upset and disturbed to read her comments. Say you are sure she can understand why you will not be able to ask her to babysit again and express regret that she has put you in this position. If she remains calm you can discuss it further, if not leave. If anything further appears on twitter you could then contact her parents.

I wouldn't use her again, she sounds very immature. And twitter stalking? If her account is open for anyone to see it's hardly stalking!

I don't know... Teenagers tend to put all sorts of rubbish on twitter. I'm a teacher and have taken kids aside at school to gently question them after I was worried by something they posted (along the lines of "I don't know why I bother, everyone hates me" or "I've never been so miserable in my life") to be met with blank looks because they wrote it in a fit of pique. Also, teens notoriously write on each others' social networking. If it was me, I'd casually mention to her that her tweets are public OR start following her properly and see how she responds.

agree with Caity.

Hi, thanks for the advice, I think I will take Caitycat's advice and take that approach.
As for twitter stalking - I work in communications and social media. Any employer these days, certainly in my line of work, most business , Nhs etc would check potential employees accounts and it's even more necessary when it's someone you're trusting your children with! It's easy to put on a polite face to employees but Fb and twitter is often very revealing.
I'm also concerned for this girl that she's setting herself for job knock backs in the next couple of years as she's being so silly on an open twitter account.

I'd definitely say something to her, it's a good opportunity for her to learn that what she writes on social networking sites is public and has consequences. Best to learn now over a simple babysitting job than further down the line and make a more serious mistake.