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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you let your 2 1/2 yr old..........

40 replies

alligator · 08/06/2006 09:22

Go on the climbing frame and up the big slide by themselves?

Its just that dp is getting a bit paranoid as dd loves climbing and swarms up the climbing frames/slides etc easily and he's been getting a few comments/ looks about letting her go by herself. She is quite capable and has only ever fallen once when she tried to leap for the firemans pole on her own (she nearly did it an all just couldnt get her legs wrapped round) Am kinda surprised about this cos I would have thought by 2 1/2 most kids would be off climbing by themselves. Maybe its because shes quite small for her age? Help me to reassure him please.

thanks

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FlameBoo · 08/06/2006 09:24

Yup - I do tend to stay vaguely close if I am by myself, but if I am with friends with older children with her, I tend to relax more.

She did break her arm falling off the steps of a slide, BUT that was when she was being helped!!!

stitch · 08/06/2006 09:25

sorry, but yo ucant reassure him.
she is his littel girl, and he is her daddy.
imagine when she is older, noo you cant drive the car its dangerous, but dad, i passed my driving test already!!

schneebly · 08/06/2006 09:26

DS1 2.10 goes on the slide on his own but not the climbing frame but he is a very cautious little boy so doesn't want to yet - lol! I have a feeling DS2 who is an avid climber, will be a different kettle of fish!

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sugarfree · 08/06/2006 09:30

Isn't there a theory that little kids will only do as much as they feel safe doing?(I know they have their silly moments too)but in general I mean.
Maybe I'm making excuses for being a 'lax' parent but none of mine have ever gone up too high to get down or fell off etc.I think its good for their development to push themselves and have a bit of independence,helps them get confident in their body.

KateF · 08/06/2006 09:30

dds 1 and 2 took dd3 up our slide when she was about 16 months and pushed her down it! She was up and saying "again" and hasn't stopped since (now 22 mths). If we're out and about I tend to lurk nearby but she'd hate me to help her

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2006 09:32

DS2 is 20 months, and has being doing slides on his own for months. I generally hang about in case he gets stuck, but he doesn't need or want help.

I don't know why people feel the need to comment on other people's choices.

HarpsichordCarrier · 08/06/2006 09:37

yes, and when she was younger, too. she is small for her age too but it does her good to see that you trust her capabilities. I don't stop her frm trying anything unless the rules of the playground say she is too young

tracyk · 08/06/2006 09:38

No - I stand close by. ds loves the slide - but some of them are very high. and some are stainless steel that he cannot control how fast he whizzes down it and flies off the end. So I just slow him down at the end. Most times he comes down backwards on his tummy - so that at least his shoes slow him down a bit. Also am a bit paranoid about the ladders etc on the climbing frames. He's fine in bare feet - but his shoes sometimes slip as he's going up or down and I like to grab him to stop him banging his teeth on the rungs (his cousin did this and damaged her 2 front teeth permanently!)

Original poster

alligator · 08/06/2006 09:38

I like that theory Sugarfree . think dp is having a wobble about being a SAHD. His theory is to let them get on with it, show them how to do thing if they need help and then to sit back and let them explore by themselves (tho within monitoring distance).

i'm glad that other people let their kids get on with it (while lurking ). dd is an independent wee imp too Kate and tells dp to 'go away I can do it'.

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NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2006 09:40

HC, do you really bother with the rules? DS2 loves the playground at DS1's school, which says it is for forms 5 to 8, I think. DS2 is 20 months.

The climbing frame really is insanely high, and every so often, I have to climb up and bring him down again, but he loves it so much, and anyway, how could I keep him off it?

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2006 09:41

Oh, and sugarfree, I think that's true for some kids, but not for others. Both my boys are reasonably cautious and tend not to injure themselves, but I have known other small kids who would just fling themselves off things randomly, and had to be watched all the time.

Nemo1977 · 08/06/2006 09:43

MY ds is 2.8yrs and if I tried to stop him going on the climbing frame etc he would be very peeved..lol I do sometimes loiter around him if there are older kids about mainly as he gets a bit over excited and thinks he is one of them.

sugarfree · 08/06/2006 09:43

Oh Poo! Got off lightly then so far
Pass me the Bad Mother Of The Day Award will you?

HarpsichordCarrier · 08/06/2006 09:46

NQC the one I am thinking of is at the swimming pool where she is DESPARATE to go ont he flume but she can't till she is FIVE . I spoke to the management and asked them if she could come on with me and they said, no, it would bugger up their insurance.
which is fair enough so we have to wait
te only other time was when she wanted to go on this enormous knight's castle where the minimum age was supposed to be SEVEN and I might have let her if I didn't have my baby but I was a bit worried there because it was a BIT high tbh.
but she is way past the "baby" stuff and likes to go on the adventure paygorund, which is fine by me..
She also likes to go MASSIVELY high on the swing until her wellies fly off or the chain goes slack and we get llots of tutting for that. I am teaching her to swing herself on the Big Girl slide so I can sit on myh arse a bit more
it's important to remember we are - you know - primates so built for swinging through trees etc.

Blu · 08/06/2006 09:47

DS has a dodgy leg - and i determined when he was tiny to give him free rein to test and have cnfidence in his own abilities - and yes, he climbed to the tops of climbing frames at a v early age. (with me hovvering beneath, but with my mouthh firmly buttoned). I actually believe that constantly telling children to 'be careful' in a state of general non-specific anxiety interferes with theri own ability to make thier own assessments of how safe and secure they feel, and therfore deters their delf-preservtion instinct.

If he must hovver, encourage your dh to give helpful constructive tips: reach up to a handhold above your head, only move one hand or foot at a time etc. helfful encouragement will be a much better intervention than anxiety!

Good luck!

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2006 09:49

Oh, it makes a difference if there's staff/management/insurance involved.

I guess I'm just thinking of French playgrounds, where every piece of equipment has a (wildly deluded) sign on it saying what age it is for. I just ignore the signs.

Original poster

alligator · 08/06/2006 09:51

lol Sugarfree I guess it works with some kids and not others. No one rule works for all I suppose.
With dd its once learnt never forgotten as she is now very cautious with firemans poles.
In fact the only time shes hurt herself at all badly (split lip needing stitches) was on one of those little tikes rockers which you wouldn't think dangerous at all. typical or what.

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LadyTambaOfTambaTown · 08/06/2006 09:53

We went to the Botanical gardens recently and there is a huge slide with lots of scary looking steps.

CarlKs dd and my ds are the same age and she was totally fine on it, and went on it loads. But when my ds climbed up I was sooo nervous - it was horrible! In the end I climbed up after him and got him down

So I guess it depends on the child :) (they are both 2 and a bit)

MerlinsBeard · 08/06/2006 09:53

he goes up the big slide(scary metal thing with concrete under but because we compromised and he can have 2 slides on that if he doesn't go on teh scary climbing frame . hes 3 btw. too scared for more than 2 slides down the bigun!

MerlinsBeard · 08/06/2006 09:54

tis flames DDs fault i am too scared breaking her flippin arm!

Original poster

alligator · 08/06/2006 09:55

Sorry seem to have expressed myself a bit wrong in my first post. Dp feels it best to let her get on with things and not hover to close. He's getting para cos other people have made comments about him letting her go climbing on her own. He was thinking he might be a bit neglectful.

OP posts:

HarpsichordCarrier · 08/06/2006 09:57

NQC I treat advisory signs with the same wild disregard I treat most advice
I tend to the view that absolute safety is not the be all and end all and needs to be balanced with other needs - like the need for independence. alligator I think your dp is doing the sensible thing to let her get on with it while remaining close enough to intervene and help if needed.
good advice from blu there too.

Blu · 08/06/2006 10:07

Aha Alligator!
Nah, tell him he's doing the best thing, and good for him!

HarpsichordCarrier · 08/06/2006 10:10

I think it is sensible to teach children practical skills for dealing with difficult situations rather than yelling "be careful!" which ime leads to an immediate accident, or hovering and rescuing.
saying things like - if you are going doing a slide and it feels too fast - sit up.
or - if you are scared, sit down and come down on your bottom.

Clary · 08/06/2006 10:11

Oh crikey yes.
DS2 (he is the third child) was doing the big slide at our Rec when he was about 14mo IIRC. At first he just climbed up and sat there, then one day DH said to me, did you know ds2 can come down the slide now?
Think we were a bit more cautious with ds1 but ds2 is so big on gross motor anyway (early walker etc). 2.5 is totally fine.
How silly of other people to comment . Try to ignore them

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