Simplicity Parenting fans chat thread :)

[fuzzpig]

A chat/support thread for those who have read (or want to read!) Simplicity Parenting

I read the book a few weeks back and it has really made me more determined to work towards a simpler home, not just in terms of clutter but particularly with screens and schedules too.

Not sure what the best way to discuss the book is, so jump in if you have any thoughts!

From reading the blurb about the book, this sounds like something we already do.

Hi fuzzpig. Thanks for kicking things off. We could start by saying what inspires us about the ideas in the book or which area we'd like to focus on individually, or we could be systematic and work through it by chapter and see what the applications are to our own situations. What do you think?

We're doing OK on the environment & unplugging side of things, but rhythm / schedule is a struggle as I am trying to meet the needs of four children and there is only one of me. I am trying to teach them that it's OK to say 'no' to some opportunities in order to avoid overcommitting themselves.

To some extent it was like that with me too, particularly with the activities aspect of it. We have never been ones to rush around doing lots of different things and we are quite happy just being at home. With the rest though, particularly screens/toys, it was more that the book described what we had always wanted to achieve as a family, but we had totally failed diverted from this aim as time went on and stressful situations got in the way, buying stuff was an easy way of making myself feel better, DVDs a reliable babysitter for far too much of the day etc.

Ah sorry reply was to Three's first post.

I read the book for the first time about 2 years ago and made a big effort to clear out physical space as a result. I came to it initially through my own reading about minimalism and my interest in reducing ADHD-like symptoms in me and in my ds2.

My dc don't have cluttered schedules - partly through design, partly through (my) idleness - and they're not allowed endless screen time. But they still get more than I'd like, especially when I'm tired or stressed. I get incredibly anxious and tend to get stressed at the slightest stimulus, so I have been practising mindfulness meditation as a way of coping with it.

I start working full time in Sept after 10 years of working part-time freelance at home, so there are going to be changes. I want to use the summer holidays to try to shift some of my behaviour, cut back on screen time and add in some more positive stuff. eg we used to sit down together after dinner to draw or do Lego together (adults as well) and that was lovely, but that's gone by the wayside. I'm hoping to reintroduce this.

I have found that my older two children naturally tend towards keeping their space uncluttered and calming, giving away things they no longer need without being prompted, and self-regulating their schedules (knowing when they need to stop doing and just be).

The younger two children have a way to go.

I'm not sure harriet as I guess everyone is in different 'places' in terms of simplifying and some people have read the book and others haven't.

I am really stuck on the first chapter in the sense that I haven't finished simplifying the environment yet. LONG way to go and due to health problems I can't rush it. I grew up with hoarder parents and due to many factors I formed a very unhealthy relationship with objects (as I had very little safety from people). I am actually starting CBT next month as part of treatment for CFS/ME, so I will attempt yto tackle it then. Although I am starting to get over it I think as I have finally started to accept how negatively my life - and family life - is affected by so much clutter.

It was partly due to my illness as I realised how much harder it was to cope, but the real tipping point was what my DD said a few months ago. We were visiting my mum in her spacious new flat (parents are divorcing and my mum has done brilliantly at reducing the amount of stuff she has) and DD, then 5, said "Mummy, I don't like our house. There are too many things in it and I can't play properly." :(

And that's the point isn't it. It's not just about the physical space. Too much stuff is just overwhelming and it's impossible to appreciate what you've got if it is buried and scattered all over.

Hello fuzzpeg I love this book!

Hello!! I really want to read this book! Hoping to get hold of a copy soon but in the meantime I will be following this with interest.

I'm reading this at the moment as we are struggling with both our eldest boy's behaviour and the limited space in our too-small-for-6 home. I'm hoping for some common sense pointers that make me go "doh! That's so obvious why didn't I think of that". We're already reducing screen time as we have been terrible at putting the tv on just so we can get some jobs done. Plus iPad time is a treat to be earned (so rarely happens).

Thanks for starting this, haven't finished reading SP yet, marking place

Great idea for a thread. I was on the first two minimalist threads, and am a lurker on the current one. I got more benefit out of the threads when the focus was more on a minimalist lifestyle, rather than decluttering.

Having said that, I've kept decluttering and am still amazed at how much more stuff is have got rid of. I'm tempted to go on the m thread and stealth boast that I now don't know what to do with my spare triple cupboards and double wardrobe.

I read the sample of the SP book, and have been subscribed to the newsletter for a while. I'm currently reading The Primal Connecton which has lots of similar themes. Mark Sisson's is behind the primal (paleo) health movement and his website has lots of this stuff on it. This way of eating has helped my autoimmune condition massively, as well as lose half a stone of fat!

We already do a lot of things that SP suggests, but I think there's still more to do.

Welcome all :)

Sokmonsta how old is your eldest? My DD is 6 and is getting really stroppy and shouty lately. I am reluctant to put all my eggs in one basket and it is surely too much to hope that the simplifying would cure all... but I do think it would help. It is going to be a long road though.

I love the idea of iPad time being a reward. Now that is a "duh" moment for me! We allow 30 mins each a day but it could work better if dependent on good behaviour. Screen time is really something I need to tackle. It's hard to believe that when DD was little the tv was only on for one cartoon in the daytime! We have already agreed that once the new term starts we will not have the tv on after school on mon-thurs. That will make the Friday movie night more of an 'island' (that'll make sense once you get to that point in the book - am about to rush off to work but will explain later!)

Hello, just signing in, not read the thread (or the book) yet but hope to do so soon.

I forgot to explain the island thing from what I remember, basically the idea is that consistency is really important, and that no matter what happens during the day you have 'islands of calm' that can always be relied on. Bedtime stories etc.

For us, Movie Night became an 'island' quite by accident - we did it once but DD enjoyed it so much that we made it a regular Friday tradition. It will be a lot more special if they haven't been watching DVDs all week though. We are going to take it in turns to choose each week.

Also I did post this on the m thread a while back but as it is related to SP I thought I'd paste it here:

I was thinking about the whole simplicity parenting thing yesterday. I took DCs to the library (I work there, but they don't actually get to go that often), and as usual, DD basically refused to choose any books and just sort of shut down. I have always been baffled and a tad embarrassed by this, especially as she really loves books, reading and being read to.

However, now I've read SP I have a new perspective. Watching her behaviour when we are there, I realised she is actually just overwhelmed by choice (it's a tier 1 library and the junior section is huge). She will aimlessly wander up to a shelf and dither about a bit. This also happens on the rare occasion she gets to choose a new book (eg with World Book Day token). To a stranger she would appear to hate books! Whereas at home she's absolutely book mad and will happily choose books from the shelf/bucket.

So now I have this new perspective, I am not going to pressure her into choosing her own books. I hope when she is older she will start to enjoy seeking out her own books, but there's no hurry. For the moment she is more than happy for me to choose her daily reading books, and loves me bringing home chapter books I read her at bedtime too. She likes the fact I'm in charge of it and she can trust me to choose something good. And it is great for me, as I can choose stuff I'm happy to read and that I know is an appropriate topic/level - so far it's all been stuff I loved as a child. Not a rainbow fairy in sight. :o

Thankfully my DD is now over her rainbow fairy 0bession interest.

Mitten Strings for God is a lovely book about simplicity and family life if anyone is looking for inspiration.

Queen while I have done lots and lots of decluttering, I too am much more interested in reading about minimalism and how it can change lives/families.

I feel similar in a way MM. While I do have to declutter massively now (things have really got out of control since I got ill), it will certainly not be the end of the journey! We always saw ourselves as being a really 'minimalist' family although I would never have assigned the word minimalist to that image IYSWIM?

I've just finished reading this book. Dd1 (just turned two) and I were at a local playground the other day and she got bored (as she often does when we don't happen to meet up with any other children) so I was about to take her to another playground when I though of the bit in the book where he talked about how being bored is good so I just sat down on a bench and sure enough she started inventing little games of her own. I'm sure this is due in part to her getting older and better at entertaining herself but I still considered it a successful minimalist /simplicity moment where we just enjoyed ourselves rather than looking for new climbing equipment/other kids to entertain us.