Sleep - on the edge...

[Mollusk]

DS is 5.5mo and a terrible sleeper. Until 14 weeks he'd been relatively good, sleeping 7-1.30 and then waking 1-2x after that. At 14wks his first waking started moving earlier and earlier, and now he wakes btwn 4 & 6 times a night. I never get more than 2hrs sleep in a row. After two months of this, I am broken. I cry often and feel I'm not being as good a mother to him - I find it hard to summon the energy to play in the day and feel myself getting angry at him in the night. This is not PND, this is the result of long-term sleep deprivation. I've read No-Cry Sleep Solution but am wondering if there are any other things I can try. No CC because he screams so terribly. He's EBF - should I only offer water in the night? What about a sleep aid like Ewan? I'm trying to extend his naps from his usual 3-4 x 30mins. Anything else?

I don't have the answers, my LO is just 8 weeks, but I just wanted to pass you a virtual ((hug)), you are doing so well, and it is absolutely no wonder that you are shattered!

Have the sleeping patterns changed since the heat started? Have you spoken to your HV?

It's torture isn't it! I read the no cry sleep solution and it took nearly 2 months for it to work, by which time I actually thought I was going to die of lack of sleep...but it did work for us eventually and he became a really good sleeper..

The trouble is, I found, that I was too knackered to do it properly!

I could have written some of you post too, in fact I did a few nights ago! No answers here really, I've chatted to HV about it and apparently 5m is prime separation anxiety time. In our case I think dd is waking up a bit more with teething then panicking about where I am as does really panicky screaming and won't even settle for DH. We've gone back to co sleeping after weeks of her self settling in her crib which feels like a massive step back but tbh I'm past caring and just want the sleep! We've also given up trying to et her to nap in her cot in the day and now just use pushchair/car/sling as required! The HV also said that it's completely normal to feed so frequently in the night at this age and would recommend just going with the flow until she's around 8m old. She said if she wasn't feeding at each wake up and just using me a dummy then to try to settle her without feeding but as she seems to be feeding well then she obviously needs it.

So watching with interest for any good advice!

Oh just to add, we had no success with Ewan and found the only way to turn the damn thing off is to throw it at the wall (which does help to relieve stress I suppose!)

I hit a wall at 5.5 months also. All babies different but a few ideas, sorry if you've already tried.
A swaddle...not too late to do this, try the summer baby swaddle on Amazon, large size.
Calpol...don't avoid using this if you think teething is happening.
My ds was feeding once at night at this age but waking more frequently. Using the swaddle made him sleep through straight away and he dropped that feed. So they can go without milk at that age but I would say continue with at least one feed at night at only 5 months.

Thanks for your responses. The heat certainly hasn't helped, but he was a crap sleeper before so I haven't actually noticed a difference! :/ Interesting about the separation anxiety - maybe that means it will end?! And I'll persist with the NCSS - she does say it's not a quick fix, but I'm so desperate for a decent sleep and yes, babyhammock, it's hard trying to stick to it when you're at your lowest point... Any other ideas welcome!

I feel your pain. I have two kids that don't sleep and sleep deprivation is a killer. I go through phases of feeling so tired I think I won't get through the day. I have read NCSS but the book that had some results for us was by Andrea grace called gentle sleep solutions I think. It does involve a bit of crying but the first time I followed her advice we had results, screwed up by teething and constant bloody illness here and then having two you don't want one to wake the other. There is also some case studies on her website. Good luck, both my two (3 and 1) slept through (well till 10 to 5) for the first time ever together last night. I bet they don't tonight!

Agree that Andrea graces approach is good. Went to a session with her and she talks sense.

Do you use dummies? Godsend with my dd.

I was exactly like you at this stage - except he's never started we'll tbh. Sleep deprivation is a killer and impacts massively on my emotions and ability to cope - I really feel for you.

Try a dose of ibuprofen at night - better for teeth pain, which it might be. Isn't going to hurt your lo if it isn't teeth.

Start there and eliminate other physical reasons- in tandem with trying the NCss if that's what you want to do.

Could reflux be an issue? Is he windy, in which case have you tried 2 weeks off dairy to see whether it helps.

Everyome was convinced that DS was just a bad sleeper- I thought something was up, but got dismissed a lot as being a clueless first time mum... Leading to an exceptionally late diagnosis of silent reflux when DS was 9 months. He did amazingly in the first few weeks on meds and there was such an improvement on his sleep.

Not saying that you're the same, just consider physical reasons as well as behavioural. If many people had had their way with my DS i would still be trying to teach him to self settle.

My ds was like yours- started well then sleep went tits up between 3 and 4 months. It was AWFUL.

It carried on for around three months then he settled into far better sleep. At eight months he still doesn't sleep through but tends to have one night feed now and sleeps for long stretches. Wahoo!

It may have simply been a huge sleep regression, and the subsequent improvement just a coincidence. BUT his sleep got so much better when he went into his big cot in his own room, and started on solids. We did these things at around five months. This goes against guidelines so of course might not be for everyone. Personally I could see that he was v hungry, and the HV advised me to start solids at 4.5m. As for putting him in his own room- well, he was ending up in our bed every night, with me tired as hell. To me that felt more risky. But it's a personal choice obv.

Whatever you do, have hope that it can and will get better.

(I would add, though, that the heat is bound to f up sleep. Ds has been having more night feeds again and waking up more- but I can't 'blame' him and I'm not going to do anything about it unless it continues beyond the heatwave. Sleep training in this weather would surely be madness...)