Terrible Two's - how on earth am I going to cope!!

[luna40]

My daughter turned 2 last month, and on that same day turned from a sweet little angel, into an absolute devil child. She wakes 4 times a night screaming, she has turned into a picky eater, she doesn't listen to a word I say, and is constantly running around doing naughty things like hitting the baby, throwing everything she can find in the toilet, and climbing up on the kitchen counters to raid the cupboards.

I'm not coping, and find myself just yelling at her. She doesn't speak much yet, but pretty much uses the word NO all the time.

I have a 10 week old baby and he demands a lot of attention, so I know that perhaps all this acting out is due to needing attention, but I do try to give DD some one-on-one time with mummy every day. It doesn't seem to be working though...

Please help! Its getting worse and worse every day...

I wonder if it's the arrival if your 2nd baby that's brought the change in behaviour rather than just the terrible twos. She might've realised that the little one is here to stay and is therefore playing up because she's no longer the centre of attention.

When my ds is naughty, I normally count to 5 and say, "If I get to 5 I'll ...", whatever that might be, something quick, immediate, that he doesn't want to happen and that I can and will follow thru with. Being firm, standing your ground and following thru every single time, no matter where you are.

When my 2nd came along I tried as much as poss to stick to my chosen strategy, since it worked. I also tried to keep him in his usual routine, to try to hell him feel secure and happy. As well as this I try to keep him involved with caring for the baby by fetching wipes and putting things in the bin etc.

It can be hard work so try not to beat yourself up. Remember that every day is a new day. Spend some time in the evening reflecting on what's happened and thinking how else you could have avoided or dealt with difficult situations, and should they happen again try to do it differently.

Easier said than done but try to avoid getting in the shouting cycle: shouting loses its power if overused. Try to let the little things that don't matter go and put effort into keeping your dd involved. Praise and reward the good things wherever possible. If she starts a tantrum, make sure she is safe but ignore til it's passed, talking to and reasoning with her won't work. If she's doing something minor that you don't want her to do, try to distract her and grab her interest before actual naughtiness happens.

It does get better as your baby grows and gains independence and as your eldest gets used to the change.

It's so hard isn't it! I have a 20 month old who doesn't talk but yet he is so demanding! You are superwoman to have a newborn too! I don't know how u mums do it! I'm sticking with my 1! Just know you are doing a great job & things will get easier ;-) x