How can I stop dd1 feeling that she is in dd2's shadow?

[wearingpurple]

I have 2 dds. One is 9, one is 8.

Dd1 is clever, beautiful and talented. She is exceptional at literacy, less so but still good at maths, then (like me) absolutely crap at anything that requires physical coordination or fine motor skills.

Dd2 is clever, beautiful and talented. She is exceptional at bloody everything. Academic subjects, creative subjects, sports - there is nothing she isn't good at. As well as this, she has the kind of attitude people (read: teachers) love - can-do, positive, keen, acquiescent.

Dd1 is a bit of a malcontent in some ways and doesn't do a lot of people pleasing.

This hasn't been a problem until now but tonight dd2 won a prize for something dd1 is also good at, and dd1 is very upset.

I can only see this happening over and over in future and I don't want dd1 to feel that she is in her sister's shadow. I know that there are things I can do - concentrating on the literacy side e.g. - but I really want to hear from anyone in a similar predicament with their own dc, or in their own experience with their siblings.

What can I do for dd1?

Rummikub - my best friend at school had a younger sister (age gap exactly the same as that between my dds) and I always envied them. Looking back, I can see that their dynamic affected what they did in life and I'm very mindful of that. It's too easy to compare yourself with the nearest person, but to feel that you are the second-best is bad. I want to avoid that at all costs!

Yes I agree. You sound very proud of both your dd's and that's great. Being mindful and having a loving understanding relationship with your daughters seems like a good way to be. Maybe we should save this thread and show our grown up dd's ... Look we did our best!

Rummi, I think that's the way to go. At least so dd1 can't say YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME etc etc. Saving now! I hope your dds and mine will meet and appreciate each other's horrible lives .

you made me chuckle with that because I can hear my dd1 saying that!

WP would add - don't forget to praise effort of DD2 as well. As an 'able' person it is very easy not to have your efforts recognised.

Have fun with your talented daughters!