What am I doing wrong!

[EmmaG1986]

Hi, hoping to get a bit of advice from you ladies. I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old, one who just doesn't listen, antagonises his brother constantly, constantly gets out of bed and is just generally hard work (7 year old) and my 2 year old who doesn't sleep well, is fussy and tantrums constantly.
I have been on my own for 3 months now, have another 3 and a half months to go and my husband will be back, currently in Afghanistan at the moment.
I am finding being a single parent extremely hard at the moment, my relationship with my 7 year old is strained, I'm constantly tired, run down and irritable. I have no help from family or friends, I'm up at 5.30-6 am every morning. I am feeling depressed, not sleeping well, bursting into tears constantly and am just finding life one big struggle and just not liking my children at the moment. I'm always nagging, trying to get my children to get on, shouting and just getting through the day.
Any advice would be appreciated! Thankyou!

Will your 2 year old go to bed earlier than your eldest? Then you can suggest mummy time for your 7 year old? I used to do this and it really helped. My dd1 felt like she didn't get much attention once dd2 came along.

Are there any toddler groups you can go to? Children's centres are life savers if there's one near you.

I think the key to all this could be getting yourself sorted out first. If you are struggling and bursting into tears I think you need to see your GP. Try to keep an open mind, things like CBT might really help you.

Why is the 7 year old getting out of bed? Is he anxious or do you think there is some other reason? What time does he go to bed and get up? What does his day look like? If he is antagonising his brother, does he have space to get away from him and do his own thing? If I'm cooking and my two are tired I usually end up sticking them in different rooms or getting one of them to cook with me. Agree with rummi too that one to one mummy time is really important. My 9yo still loves a bath, being read to and a cuddle before bed.

What are you doing regarding the tantrums? Do you just ignore? Have you read The house of tiny Tearaways and the No Cry Sleep Solution?

Really hope you start to feel better soon